**breaking my own rules again**
So I have a blind date tonight. I don't fare well on blind dates. (that's another post). Basically, my co-worker approached me a couple weeks ago and told me that there's this guy she knows and wants us to meet. *le sigh* In an effort to remain open-minded, I told her that she could give him my number, after getting some preliminary information about him. First red flag: she asked my age and when I told her "29", she was like - "oh good, he likes 'em young". I was like "how the hayle old IS he?". "47..but he doesn't look it or act it at ALL". *blank stare*. Do you know that my stepmother will be 50 next week?? I'm just sayin'. Too old.
I had completely forgotten about this until yesterday, when the guy called. He would like to meet up today for a drink, that way we can see if there's anything there or not. I have a feeling I already won't be interested. Why, do you ask?
Age, for one, but this is where it gets sticky. It's clear that he is a white man. I've never dated white men, never particularly had interest in doing so. I love, appreciate and am attracted to black men sooooo much that I've never been led to give up on them (tempted, yes..lol). Even in spite of the shady stuff they've done to me. My good friend just married an Italian man and encouraged me to stay open-minded about other races, but I still don't think I'm there yet. Unless this man looks like George Clooney or Matthew McConaughey (who, by the way, has a very hard name to spell), I probably won't go for it. I agreed to meet him and see how it goes, but I'm walking in with my mind already made up. I feel like Sanaa Lathan in the beginning of "Something New", when she meets the guy for the first time at Starbucks and is like 'hecks naw'.
So what is a delicate way to approach this issue, next time someone tries to set me up? My co-worker, who is white or Latina (I'm not sure), never asked me if I'm into white guys. I felt it would've been politically incorrect to ask her of his race/ethnicity, but why waste this guy's time if I'm not interested? And do I say anything to him at ALL about it??
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6 comments:
Next time someone attempts to set you up, I think you should politely say, "Oh, I appreciate the effort and view it as a compliment that you see me as a woman that is worthy of meeting someone you consider a friend, but I am not comfortable with blind dates."
As politically incorrect as it may be/seem, you are entitled to having a personal preference. Maybe, I don't have proper etiquette, but I would have asked the man's ethnicity if it was something that I wanted to know, or if it was important to me. And it would've been important to me. While I am not racist, I do prefer to date minorities, unless I just happen to by chance fall for someone white. Just like in "Something New", Sanaa didn't PLAN to fall for Simon Baker...it just sort of happened. She actually tried everything she could to convince herself they'd never work. Thinks like that have to happen naturally when you know you aren't generally attracted to someone white, or whatever your 'non' preference is.
As for your date, I do not think you should say a word to him. When you meet with him, give it an honest chance, but if you know 10-15 minutes into the date, you should be honest and say, it was a pleasure meeting you, but I don't see this going farther than just an acquaintanceship.
thats why i like meeting online first. like eharmony or something. i met my girl on hi5.com. it might sound crazy. but that works for me.
He likes them young??? He's 50, he's old enough to be your dad! Definately too old. Im just saying
Girl I crossed over to the white side a long time ago and love it. Its different for everyone but I found that white men try harder, fall in love faster, and have less committment issues. My bff is dating an Italian guy and with in 1yr she has a key to his place, met the parents, went on trips etc... VS 5 years of dating 2 black men off and on plus the drama of forcing them to committ.
Again everyone is different but you should really consider them as options. Im not as attracted to white men physically as I am black men, but in the dark...lol Sorry I had to go there.
The age thing is totally valid but the white thing shouldn't be a big deal.
Wow you aren't wrong on the age thing at all. because it might be cool right now but when your 50 and fine he'll be 70 with wrinkly man parts!!! EWWWW
As for the race thing, when you meet someone you're crazy about it won't seem to matter.
This one is a phone conversation. I'll call you tomorrow. Text me & let me know what time is "free" time. =o) Cause I've got a story for you, myself.
@ tosharenelle ~ Yeah, I think I might do that, unless it's someone I REALLY trust and that knows me well. I was set up by a random person, which should've been my first clue. Honestly, I think the age was more of an issue than his race -- had he been a 29-35 year old white dude, I don't know that I would've been so resistant.
@ wiz ~ I've tried the online thing, and that doesn't work for me either. I prefer meeting someone the "old fashioned" way, face-to-face.
@ jackierodri ~ yeah girl, the "he likes 'em young" line REALLY set the wrong tone. I'm not commenting on how it all went because I'll blog about it soon. There have been white men - not many, but a couple - that I've had crushes on (my cruise director from June *heart*), so I wouldn't say that I'm completely opposed to dating a white man. There are some deeper reaching familial issues that I won't get into about the whole thing. But like I told Tosha, I think the age ended up being more of a factor than the race. It was just squicky.
@ lala ~ I agree. My mother married a man 20 years her senior, and unfortunately we buried my stepfather at age 70. I saw what she went through and it's all the more reason to avoid marrying an older man. (that much older, anyway). I realize that a 30 year old man could keel over at any time also, but the likelihood of that happening is far less than an elderly man.
@ kat ~ I'll hit you up later
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