Some REAL Foolishness

I think I can now safely say that I am a reality TV junkie. Before, I allowed myself access to a few reality shows here and there, feeling justified because the shows were wildly popular among the Nielsen ratings folks. “Amazing Race” was and is my all-time favorite program, and I recently gave up on “ANTM” and “American Idol”. But now those latter two shows have been replaced with a smorgasbord of foolishness. (confession: I did allow myself “Flavor of Love” - both seasons and “I Love New York” – both seasons). My DVR is working overtime to keep up with my bad habit, for which I am thankful. I do know that there are some people that are worse, but considering where I was not even a few months ago, I feel much shame! For my own entertainment and perhaps enlightenment, I feel compelled to detail what is so cracktastic about all of my shows.

First of all, I must say that VH-1 is the devil incarnate. There is something about their shows that suck me in. I’m all up in their shows; I think I watch more shows on VH-1 than on any other channel. And here’s why:

“Tough Love” and “Tough Love: Couples”: So I totally love Steve Ward! The dude is no-holds barred. The first two “Tough Love” seasons were pretty good, but once he started focusing on the couples, I got seriously hooked. Some of the issues that the couples are dealing with – trust issues, lack of sex life, poor communication – are real-life problems and some of the advice that Steve gives is helpful. But, mostly, the show is great entertainment. I find myself sitting there wondering who is gonna make it and who is gonna call it quits. We don’t find out until the end of the season. I also like that, in spite of them living in a mansion together and having weekly “challenges”, no one is eliminated or voted off. They’re there to complete the boot camp. And I’m totally tuning in every week!

“Brandy & Ray J: A Family Business”: Truly I do not understand why I’m so into this show. I guess, having a brother of my own, the relationship between the two siblings is interesting…even if I’m not a Grammy-winning R&B star and my brother hasn’t had two dating reality shows. I am quietly cheering on Brandy’s comeback, which must begin with her abandoning her current hair-affair and finding something that does not involve babyhair and lacefronts.

“What Chilli Wants”: Have mercy, I thought I was picky! Watching Chilli try to find a man with this mess of a matchmaker is both compelling and painful. I want to shake her at times to tell her that she’s out of her mind, but then I feel badly for her at times (see this past week’s episode with Floyd in Vegas). I dunno, I hope she finds what she wants.

“Basketball Wives”: I watch this purely for the trainwreckiness of it. I’ve dubbed Evelyn and Jennifer “Evilene” and “Evermean”, one because they are and two, because references to “The Wiz” are fun. At any rate, the amount of delusional thinking, self-aggrandizing and overall snobbiness in this show makes it impossible to turn off – at least for me, anyway. I enjoy watching them just to talk about them on Twitter or read about them on message boards. Wealth does a lady not make. I hope by watching themselves on tv, they'll gain some insight. (#unlikely)

Right behind VH-1 come WE and TLC (it’s a tie) for all of their wedding shows. And I mean, ALL of their wedding shows. Sure, wedding planning is on my mind, but I’m not engaged. (lol) Still, I cannot turn away and cannot stop my DVR from taping all of the wonderfulness!

“My Fair Wedding by David Tutera”: by far my favorite wedding show. I just want to kidnap David Tutera and make him plan my wedding, when the time comes. I love how he comes in and completely kills the wedding design, because you know his designs are gonna much more faaabulous and much more expensive. I could never afford to hire the guy (weddings in his design collection at Disney World start at $60,000…don’t ask how I know that)…so whenever I am engaged, he needs to watch his back! Lol

“Say Yes to the Dress”: Who spends $11,000 on a wedding gown? Clearly, this happens, and Kleinfeld’s in NYC is the place to go to do it. I just shake my head at the amount of money these women spend on their gowns, but enjoy the drama that goes down in the shop. Plus the new season just started, so let the fun begin!

“Bridezillas”: Usually pisses me off more than anything, makes me question how much of this is being played off for the camera because 1) I refuse to believe that these women will act THIS crazy and 2) I cannot understand how the grooms go through with the ceremony after all of the bipolar manic hijinks that these brides get into. Foolishness.

“Four Weddings”: Just got into this one last week. Basically, four brides who already have planned their weddings attend each other’s ceremonies and rate the overall experience, including her dress, food and venue. The winner wins a fabulous honeymoon. It’s just interesting to see how different the brides’ visions are, what works and what doesn’t. Plus it’s super entertaining! I’ll be sticking with this one.

“Platinum Weddings”: Excess to the extreme. I’ve seen some fabulous ceremonies – the one in Mexico in the cave stands out, but seriously, spending $500,000+ on a wedding is just stupid. I can only watch this in doses.

“Rich Bride, Poor Bride”: This one is cool cuz it deals with the actual cost of weddings, what can drive people over budget, and even exposes some of the Groomzillas that exist out there. Lol. Fun times.

Not that I need approval or validation from others, but am I the only one addicted to this craziness??

LDR Realities:The Phone

Wow, has it really been 6 months since I posted up in here? Eek! Well, I made a promise to myself (and Facebook, for those who cared) that I would start writing again, so here I am. I'll be volleying back and forth between this site -- which is more open for public perusal, and the other one -- which is where I am more free to vent about personal stuff, as needed.

Those who have known me awhile are aware -- or not -- that when I first went back to school to get my Masters, I wanted to focus on relationship counseling. My career has not really led me in that direction, but has not squashed my interest in interpersonal relationships, especially those of the romantic sort. There's this new show on VH-1, "Tough Love: Couples", that has become my new crack. It's just fascinating to me. And although I'm no expert on the topic, I'm now six months into the most grown-up relationship I've ever had -- long distance on top of everything else -- so I feel that I have some quality opinions to add to to the topic. Maybe. I don't plan for this to turn into the "She Knows Everything about Love"blog, because CLEARLY I don't, but sharing my observations can be fun...and perhaps anyone who stumbles across this page will have something to add.

My friend from college had written an interesting blog a few weeks back about how much she boos upon long-distance relationships, with good reason. Was this the ideal situation for me? Not at all. Is he worth it? Absolutely. But, we continue to bump heads around an essential tool that I've had issues with for many years: the telephone.

Now, I've been on the other end of this spectrum. As my girl Kat and I discussed on Saturday, we've encountered the brothas who believe in "textual relationships". My man is not cut of this fabric. He will text during work as necessary,but also steals moments to call and say "I just wanted to hear your voice". Those things are sweet and endearing. They always make me smile. So, my issues do not stem from this. No, my issues come after a long day at work. He is one hour behind me (Eastern Standard versus Central), so when I get home, I go straight into veg mode. I mean, peel off the work clothes, put on my play clothes, walk the dog, turn on the TV veg mode. By the time I'm good and comfortable, he calls. We work in similar fields, but we deal with our workdays differently -- I leave work AT work, while he likes to process his day with me. Sometimes that takes 5 minutes, sometimes it takes 20. Unfortunately, I have an attention span of a gnat (and am not afraid to admit it!). So at minute marker 10, I'm disengaged. This boils down to the basic problem I've had with friends who are less understand of who I am: I am not a phone person. I am a direct communicator, or so says the communication style assessment I took last month. Meaning, I am a "get to the point, no need to illustrate the story" type person. He, on the other hand, is an illustrative and detailed storyteller. I tend to stay on the phone even when I don't have anything to say or contribute to the conversation.

Fortunately, I took this assessment with him and we were able to identify our differences. Yeah..great. So now what? It's one thing to know information; the important part is, what do you do with this new information?

We've resolved it like this - when I know I'm distracted, like watching something on TV or reading...whatever, I'll get off of the phone. As simple as that sounds, when you only see someone once a month, every moment matters. Or, at least you convince yourself that it does. So, we've been learning as we grow that we do have lives and interests outside of each other and pursuing those is not a slight against our relationship. Balance, people.

We'll always talk enough to see what kind of day the other is having, hopefully all is well and if we need to talk later, we will. If we have the time and desire to sit on the phone for a couple of hours, we do that. Either way, we make sure that the other is happy. Nothing replaces physically being together in the same room, but with this current situation, we'll take what we can get.