M.I.A.

So, not only have I been negligent of my blogging "responsibilities", I've also been neglecting some of my buddies. I've been fussed at so much this past week that I'm trying to reach out and make amends, with folk, while updating people on what's been going on.

I've been doing my fair share of traveling this month, as anyone on Facebook can tell you. I traveled to Los Angeles during the first/second week of October to visit my brother and meet my future sister-in-law. My "quasi-excitement" about the trip dissipated the moment I arrived. Devon, my future-SIL, took good care of me when my brother was busy with school or work. She and I went shopping, out to eat, talked wedding stuff. It was great. The three of us went to Six Flags Magic Mountain on that Friday, and had a freakin' blast. First of all, the park was essentially empty. The longest line we stood in was 45 minutes for the Deja Vu. The park had sooooo many coasters, and I later learned that this particular park is in a constant battle with Cedar Point for the title of "most roller coasters". I believe Magic Mountain surpassed CP this year with the opening of their wooden "Terminator:Salvation" ride. Intense. The scariest thing I've ever ridden, the X2, was the culmination of our day. Never have I ridden a contraption that sent me uphill on my back,hanging off the side of the track, and flipped me continuously throughout the ride. OMG that mug was SCARY, but FUN! In terms of celebrity sightings, I only saw Fabio and Tiny "Zeus" Lister during my time there. I never see, like, Will Smith. Always the randoms.

Another trip I just returned from was a weekend trip to Dallas to visit my friend Jocelyn, her hubby Courtney, and to attend her son's first birthday party. (Note to self: upload the pics!) Another of my friends from back in the day, Kim, joined us from New Jersey, along with Jocelyn's parents from Cleveland. I don't think I've ever gone out of town and not spent a dime. We spent the ENTIRE weekend in the house, from prepping for the party to hanging out in the "man cave" to having an impromptu worship service at the house. It was really nice to see my friends again (I hadn't seen Kim in three years) and catch up. It was a nice getaway and although I was a little hesitant to go at first, I'm glad I had a chance to take the trip.

As a result of these two, I had to cancel another trip to Atlanta that I was supposed to take this weekend for Kat's birthday party. Sucks rocks. I am planning to go to Chicago right before Thanksgiving, and of course there is the big family cruise in December.

I also closed my Twitter account earlier this month. It just made no sense to me. I understood using it in an attempt to keep up with folk, but it became more of a nuisance to check than fun to use. So, I said good-bye.

Last but certainly not least, my biggest distraction this month has been HIM. This still isn't "Facebook Public" and most of my friends aren't aware yet, but I am now....finally....after 10 long years....in a relationship! I'm dating someone that I've known for 9 years and had some past romantic involvement with, effective October 23rd. Although it's new -- we've only been officially together for two weeks -- our long-term close friendship and our dating history has made this all VERY easy. The hardest part,though? It's long distance. It's never easy. He lives in Chicago and I'm here. He came down to see me a few weeks ago, which is when we made our relationship official, and I'm going to go see him in a couple weeks. (I gotta find my winter coat). It's exciting because I know, without a shadow of a single doubt, that this is the man I am going to marry. I'm not being spooky, I just know this. We've talked about it. Where/when/how many guests etc. We've talked about kids. I've known him so long that nothing surprises me. I've met his parents and he's met mine (it was years ago, but still). My folks remember him and vice versa. And we are crazy about each other. It's so nice to finally have reciprocated love, y'all. This is such a foreign concept to me. He's working very hard on getting himself moved to Tampa, praying for a job opportunity to open up to make that happen. At any rate, much of my incognito-ness(?) lately has been due to long long phone conversations in the evenings. Thank the LORD for AT&T's A-list, because all of those calls are now FREE. AT&T FTW! So, keep us in your prayers....ya girl is happy and there is a man involved!

We Are Family?

Super-long hiatus, but I'm back. Seriously -- I don't do the things I used to enjoy so much (writing, dancing, etc), so I need to start getting it together. I'm trying. I'm blogging on Xanga weekly, and I'll try to do so here.

I was compelled to return to this blog site to discuss the experience I had in Orlando on Friday and Saturday. But before I do, let me add this disclaimer: my negative feelings have absolutely nothing to do with my beloved Maxwell himself, who I had the pleasure of seeing live for the second time this summer. He performed beautifully as always. No, my issue came about the event itself.

Okay. The Tom Joyner Family Reunion has been held in Orlando for the past six or so years. The package price to the event, which includes lodging, concert tickets, park tickets, etc start in the upper 100's and go up to the thousands, depending on size of your tribe. Being that I live in Tampa, I did not see the need to purchase a package deal, especially when they were selling tickets to individual events. Now, I had seen Maxwell perform live in a much smaller venue in Clearwater, FL on July 30th, so when I saw he was returning to the area in September, I wasn't completely pressed. I had excellent seats to the July show and Maxwell waved at me, so I was (almost) satisfied. *wink* However, I told my girl - who missed the July show - all about it and she wanted to go, so I told her I'd go again and make a mini-weekend out of it.

She graciously purchased the ticket, which was $65 once you added taxes and fees, and I paid her back for it. We learned at that time that the concert was general admission, and the ticket said the show started at 9. The general admission thing had me worried, but the seating chart on the website made it appear that it would be almost banquet like, with circular tables and such.

I had to work on Friday, so I was rushing like crazy. The girls had already checked into the hotel,and I finally arrived at 7:45. We also learned earlier that day that the doors to the concert didn't open until 9 (show start time unknown), so we figured we had time. But not much...after I got dressed in a flash, we left the hotel at 8:30 to go to the Gaylord.

We got there and parked, and saw a line of black folks that was long, but not ridiculous. However, once we got IN the line, we learned that it snaked throughout the bottom floor of the hotel, with the venue being one story up. :-/ We were way in the back of the line, but there were a LOT of people still behind us. While in line, we also learned that the venue held 5,000 people. Once they finally opened the doors at nine, we slowly walked our way through the hotel, and in 20 minutes, we got to the venue. It wasn't even a real concert hall; it was like a gigantic ballroom with rows and rows of seats set up. By the time we got in there, we had no choice but to sit towards the back. The stage was soooooo far away. We weren't worried; there were two large screens on each side of the stage and we knew we'd get a view then. Maxwell took the take the stage at 10:30 and would you know, THEY NEVER TURNED THE SCREENS ON!!! People were sooo mad, my friends included. We couldn't stand the whole show since the seats weren't stadium seating....out of courtesy, we remained seated most of the show. (Although I HAD to jump up when he went into "Til the Cops Come Knockin'"...LOVE IT). I was honestly sooooo glad I saw him in Clearwater, because all of the intimacy of that show was lost in this particular venue. Of course it was sensual, but it wasn't the same because we couldn't see his face and see what he was doing. Boo. My Maxwell love forever reigns, but next time I plan to be in an assigned seat in a small venue. Thank you.

Let me just add, the experience didn't completely sour everything. My girls - self included - continued to drool over Maxwell for the next two days, even though our seats were 12 miles away from the stage.

After the show, we were too hungry to stay for Tom's afterparty and went to IHOP instead. Two of us went to Sea World the next day, where my girl had heard that Tom was having a Family Reunion BBQ. Apparently he invited everyone in radioland, but when we arrived we found out that you had to have a special bracelet to get into his special viewing of Shamu's Believe show and the BBQ. WTF. About midday, I turned to my girl and asked, "has anyone from the family reunion spoken to you? At ALL?". She told me, "nope". Me neither. The people we encountered, and it was a lot of them, especially at Sea World, were not very friendly. They just walked by without speaking, even when you acknowledged them with a headnod and smile. Or an actual hello. In fact, one man - so irate that he was in the wrong location for the BBQ with his "fat pockets" and ability to eat whatever he wanted (don't ask) - hit me with his stuffed Shamu toy while trying to leave the queue line. And I couldn't get so much as an "excuse me". It seriously turned me off from attending any other TJMS events, which sucks. Becuase Tom's event at the Florida Aquarium for the National Assn of Black Journalists was really nice.

I don't know, maybe I shouldn't let this turn me off, but I paid good money for that concert and I'm glad I didn't pay for the others. I imagined it would be better organized. And that people would be warmer. I know that this is one family reunion that made me feel like an outsider. Boo.

Rest in Peace, King of Pop

I originally wrote this post on another blogging site in 2005. This loss has hit me harder than I ever would've thought. Even when I was younger, I would dread the day Michael left us. In my mind, I'd be a much older woman when it happened, so for this to occur at the mere age of 30 (for him, age 50) is unfathomable. I'm grieving like he was a family member. In many ways, he was. People don't understand it, but there is comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one this rocked by Michael's death. His music will live on.

Michael Joseph Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

The Evolution of a Fan

Jan 2005


I watched the "48 Hours Mystery" on Michael Jackson on Saturday night
and it got me to thinking about the years I spent as a Michael devotee.
I can't pinpoint when, where or how it started but as long as I can
remember, I was Michael Jackson crazy. Unlike many people here on
Xanga, I was actually alive when both Off the Wall and Thriller were
released, although I wasn't even school-aged yet. My parents bought my
brother and me matching "Beat It" jackets with all the zippers. We had

Thriller on vinyl - yeah we did! - and my brother and I used to play it in
the basement all the time. Then, he suddenly got into Prince, and the
Michael vs. Prince debate became a constant in my home. This lasted
until I was in high school, when I finally conceded that yes, Prince is
off the hook. I remember Michael coming to Cleveland on the Bad Tour,
and my parents wouldn't take me. I just had to watch my copy of
"Moonwalker" and like it. Receive it Carla, you will not be going to the concert. I'm still bitter about that, since
I've never seen him perform live and the way things are looking, I
never will.






I hit the seventh grade in 1991, right around the time Dangerous was
released, and I don't know what happened. I became a fanatic. We were
all entering puberty...everyone else was starting to date, but since I
was a goof, Michael Jackson became my new fake boyfriend. My other
goofy friends and I formed our own little clique founded on our
devotion to Michael. While I was in eighth grade "The Jacksons: An
American Dream" miniseries debuted on ABC. It was over. My corny friends
and I had the movie memorized in a matter of months. We had viewing
parties. We celebrated Michael's birthday. For my 13th birthday, I
received a life-size cut out of MJ's pic on his Bad CD. I wrote letters
to his fan club, and received a autographed pic written out to me. My
brother and I used to box anytime he made a negative comment about
Mike. I got offended at the jokes, so I got picked on a lot. Yeah, it
was bad. I was a fan obsessed.



<----Look, it's on sale



I got to high school and suddenly, it was no longer cool to be part of
the Michael Jackson clique. We disbanded, and suddenly the interest
went from celebrities to real life boys. I was still a loyal supporter
- I bought HIStory the day it was released - but my priorities had
shifted. This was either during or right after the first set of child
molestation allegations, and dude I had Michael's BACK. Don't nobody
say nothin' bad about Michael! I even bought the Blood on
the Dance Floor cd to show my Mike support.











Then the shift happened. Maybe I just grew up. Grew out of it. I can't
pinpoint when it happened, but I realized it when Invincible
was
released and I didn't buy it. That was huge..me? Not buying a Michael
Jackson CD? I still don't own it to this day. (although "Butterflies"
is the JAM). I've been guilty of laughing at Michael Jackson jokes. I
can now admit that his appearance is out of hand. My heart breaks
whenever I see a current picture of him. What drove him to destroy his
face like that?



<-----This is on sale too. Maybe I should buy it



And now, here we are on the eve of his big trial, and I don't know what
to think. It's hard for me to believe that he could've actually
molested these kids, but I haven't heard the evidence against him yet.
I think it was definite and serious lapse of judgment to have these
kids in his house/in his bed if he is innocent. Hello, McFly? Welcome
to the real world. At the end of the" 48 hrs" program, there was a
graphic that said that if Mike is convicted on all counts, he could
spent 20+ years in prision! :Shocked: That hit me hard..Michael Jackson
in jail? Geez...I guess we'll see what happens in due time.


Addendum: June 27, 2009

Thank God he was found not guilty. I still to this day don't believe he did anything wrong. Poor judgment, yes? But I never saw Michael Jackson as a manipulative pedophile. I saw him as a troubled man who never had a proper upbringing, and therefore, had stunted emotional development. I loved him with all my heart, as if I knew him, and was longing for an opportunity to see him perform live. It's heartbreaking that I'll never have that chance. My heart aches for his family, for him to be the first one to pass away. I pray that the media is respectful of the family and his legacy.

Rest in peace, Michael.

Thirty and Fabulous!!

It's been a minute since I've written here. Almost three months; wow. Much has been happening in the life of me....most prominently, I've begun working with the federal government at the Tampa VA Hospital. I've been there a little bit more than a month, and I'm enjoying the job thus far. Nevermind the pay raise - which is nice :) - but the work itself is better than my former job. My patient list never goes over 24, versus the 60-80 some patients I used to be responsible for assisting. The nuts and bolts of the job are the same (discharge planning and counseling), but having less patients allows for more time with each one. And I enjoy working with the veterans. These guys sacrificed their lives in order to make this country a safer place, and many of them have fascinating stories. Loving the new gig.

I also got a new car last month. The old one had some time left on it, but the cost of maintaining it was becoming more than a notion. So I traded it in after 8 years and got a 2007 Camry. It's a larger car and is in this funky aqua-green color. I love the car but not looking forward to my first car note in 4 years.



Finally, I hit a milestone: I turned 30 years old on April 28th! I can't believe I'm actually 30!!! It feels good at the moment, but it's also very new. I've stepped up my nutrition/exercise regime....I want to keep everything tight as I get older! My birthday celebration was a blast; my girls came down from Tallahassee and I also celebrated with my girls here in Tampa. Dinner, movies, shopping, pampering, comedy show and a night of dancing. On my actual birthday, I went to Magic Kingdom with another of my girls. A total blast; what a great way to ring in 30! The party continues in two weeks as I travel to Chicago to party with my girls Jynnifer and Maya for THEIR 30th birthdays. Can't wait, I haven't been to the CHI in four years!

Hello 30!!!!

Words of Wisdom

"You are better off being single, wishing to be married, than to be married wishing you were single again. You have the rest of your life to be married; enjoy the few years you have of being single" - E. Royster Harper

My former employer uttered those words to me almost seven years ago, and they have stuck with me since. With the imminent approach of Valentine's Day, there is no time like the present to reflect on the blessings of singlehood -- and lament over the lack of consistent companionship.

A very close friend of mine is in a situation he wishes to escape. Married five years ago at the age 24, he is beginning to feel that he rushed into matrimony and is contemplating next steps. He acknowledges feeling envious of my freedom as a single and childless woman, and has found himself in an unfulfilling marriage (no kids). I don't know what to say. As the single woman who desires a companion, I encourage him to appreciate the fact that he has found love. I tell him how difficult it is to be single out here...but, maybe that experience is different for single men than it is for women. I know plenty of married women who say that they do not envy me and my current relationship status. Thanks -- that's comforting.

On the flip side, the majority of my friends are (ostensibly) happy. Two of my closest friends here in Florida have been married for over 6 years and are blissful. I've spent enough time with them to know that the love, passion, and respect they have for one another is genuine. It's the relationship I long to have, full of laughter, dining out, activity and travel. They've restored my faith that marriage doesn't HAVE to be boring and dull.

At the same time, I do cherish my freedoms. Many of my friends who are single moms told me that they were jealous of my ability to pick up and move to Florida on a whim. Some married friends tell me to enjoy my freedom to make random - and sometimes stupid - decisions (and purchases like Manolo Blahniks) without having to consult with anyone or hide my bags when I get home. I wanted to wait until I was betrothed to purchase a home, but developed a "why wait?" mentality instead. As Royster told me way back when, I have so many years left ahead of me (God-willing) to enjoy the fruits of matrimony. Once these 20- 30- somethings are gone, you never get them back. I look forward to walking down the aisle, having kids, etc....but, in hindsight, I am glad I didn't settle down earlier. I look at the things I've experienced in my 20s and am thankful for them, both good and bad. I'm excited to see what the future holds, now that most of my individual goals have now been met (I just need to get myself overseas...)

With that said: to those in relationships, Happy Valentine's Day. To those who are not: Happy Singles' Solidarity Day. :)

Addicted

"Hello, my name is Carla and I am addicted to social networking"

It's bad y'all. Facebook is going to be my downfall. I cannot understand WHY it's so addictive, or why I cannot stay off of that site. It's a compulsion. The only comfort I get is knowing that I am not alone in my addiction.

When I joined Facebook in 2004, I thought it was stupid. I didn't understand what was so attractive about its simplicity. At the time, it was only open to college students -- people I saw regularly, since I still lived in Ann Arbor. You had a profile, a picture and that was it. Stupid.

Shortly thereafter, they incorporated the ability to post pictures. I believe that this is when I officially became addicted. Not to mention, I had moved to Ohio at this point and it was a good way to stay in touch with my Michigan folks -- and people from other colleges. Simultaneously, my brother invited me to join MySpace and I found myself on there ALL of the TIME. Facebook..afterthought. MySpace addiction continued for awhile, and I contemplated deleting my Facebook account several times.

However, at this point it was open for anyone to join. People I hadn't seen or heard from in YEARS suddenly started sending me friend requests. Preschool friends, elementary and high school acquaintences, ex-boyfriends and the like, friends from Detroit, etc. And because talking on the phone is one of my largest deficiencies, this became a wonderful way to stay in touch with people and get updated on their lives. Another attractive perk was the ability to find friends when I was going on vacation. For example, I went to Los Angeles in 2006, and thanks to Facebook, I linked up with my college friend Eddie for a wonderful night of salsa dancing.

The more people that joined and added me, the more I felt compelled to visit the site and see what was going on. Eventually, the Facebook devils added the "notifications", "chat", "status updates" and then the ability to comment on one's status update. After that, I was done. Today, I find myself checking Facebook every few minutes. Thanks to my iPhone, I almost unconsciously tap the Facebook app and look for a little red notification dot. And, as confident as I am with my new beau situation, I catch myself looking at his page for any females trying to push up on him. (lol, *smh*). Facebook can get you into trouble.

It's funny because just this week I've had three phone conversations....about Facebook. It's really changed the face of modern communication. How much you learn about others. I find I can't tell stories anymore, because people already know my isht from my compulsive status updates. (lol)

They're going to need to come up with a 12-Step Program for Facebookers who can't break the habit. Sign me up.

Happy New Year!

Hellllooo 2009!!!! Looking forward to big things in the upcoming year. 2008 was a fantastic year for me personally and professionally, with many positives and very very few negatives. In retrospect:

In 2008...

...Nobody close to me passed away.

....I finally had the opportunity to date my "Dream Man", which turned out to be a disappointment. As some dreams are, when they become reality. lol

...I attempted to enter two long-distance relationships, neither of which worked out. And for that, I'm grateful.

...I finally settled in on a church home

...I went on two cruises, developed a massive crush on the cruise director, and played The Amazing Race in Cozumel. Amazing.

...Won a free trip to Las Vegas

...Two dear friends were married and two of my hometown girls had babies

...I adopted Cha Cha and learned first-hand the rigors of being a pet owner

...I closed on my first home, something I hadn't been planning on even in early October

...I grew very close to The Boos, as they are now known, and they became my Tampa BFFs

...I began dating an amazing man, who makes me smile at the mere thought of him

...I officially became addicted to Facebook (lol)

...And lastly, I survived long enough to see the first black President elected to office!

I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store. Topping 2008 will be a tall order, but I'm believing God to make it happen!!