Can't Help It

I'm a believer that people carry something that either attracts them to or repels them from others. Some call it an aura, some call it a spirit, some call it a vibe. Whatever it may be, I feel that I'm extremely sensitive to it. It's fascinating; from the moment I meet a person, I can know whether or not I will want to be this person's friend or not. It's not foolproof - sometimes I'm turned off by people who turn out to be cool, or am just all out confused about if I want to be around him/her - but when it's on, it's powerful.

Example/inspiration for this post: This past Wednesday night, I was out with my friends at Jackson's. They met this guy last week at another event, and he was in the house Wednesday night. From the moment I was introduced, I wanted to run the other way. I don't know why. I can't explain it. He kept coming back over and joking with my friends, and I would shut down and withdraw everytime he came back. He kept trying to joke with me, and I looked at him like "you don't know me, don't even try it". Eventually, he left me alone. He knew I wasn't havin' it. My friend was like, "wow, you REALLY don't like him!". I told him that his vibe was just all wrong.

Another example. While working in Cleveland, the charge nurse on my floor wanted to hook me up with this cop. He came to the hospital daily to pick up lunch for the prisoners at the local lockup, and he was a younger, attractive guy. I talked to him a few times and we exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone, and it was the most RANDOM conversation I've ever had. It was borderline creepy. After that, I wasn't interested. I'd see him at work all of the time and, like the other guy, just wanted to run the other direction. I even started dodging him. A few months ago, my friend called me and told me that Creepy Cop had been arrested for raping a female prisoner.

On the flip side, there are some people I meet and like immediately. It takes no coercion, no "getting to know you"...I just like them from the start. And those people tend to remain long-term friends, as they continue to prove why I thought he/she was so awesome in the first place.

As for the Questionables - I've met a few here in Florida. There are two people I can think of off the top of my head, both females, that give me a love/hate vibe. At some points, she's completely awesome and I'm glad to be around her, and in the next minute I am completely turned off/pushed away by something she said or did. I know this makes me sound bipolar, but I promise I'm not! I keep my distance from both of these females as a result of this. Again, I can't put my finger on it...they just irk me in a remarkable way and I don't know why.

Tagged by Tosha

I stole the pic too. lol


1. I overuse the word "random". It's awful. I believe this started when I lived in Michigan. EVERYTHING is "random": the day, events, people, my blog.....I need an alternate word. HELP!

2. I just noticed this last week: I was eating Lays potato chips and found myself digging in the bag for the ones that are curled in half. I realized that I always do this. For some reason, the chips that are folded over are my favorites. They taste the same as the other chips, so I don't quite understand why it matters to me.

3. I live by a schedule, completely unintentional. Even if I'm meeting someone on the weekend, I give myself an estimated time of arrival and feel a sense of failure if I don't match or beat it.

4. I had a TiVo. I was proud of my TiVo. But it wasn't HD. There was no point, so I discontinued my service and use the local cable company's DVR. It sucks. I want my TiVo.

5. I have a fantastic sense of direction, except for in two cities: Toledo, Ohio and Washington, DC. Something about the layout of these two cities makes no good sense to me. I can't find my way around, and find my self sho-nuff lost. Anywhere else, I can ride to a destination one time and find my way there again, without incident.

6. I overuse "LOL". Most people do this. I, however, am self-conscious about it. I am trying to break my "LOL" habit by inserting emoticons or simply saying "haha". It's just not the same as good ol' LOL.

7. I am addicted to Burger King. If I ever find myself hungry, my first thought goes to BK. This was all I thought about in church. Raced there after service, got my usual double-cheeseburger combo, ate half of the fries and didn't touch the burger. What's really going on?

That's it. Since not many folks read this blog, if you read this entry consider yourself TAGGED! Tosha, you are excused. :-)

New Music Review: Mary Mary, "The Sound"

I'm chipping away at my new CD's, one at a time. Ever since I hit "play" on my iPod and heard Mary Mary's latest, I've had a hard time pressing "stop". Seriously, their latest album is one of the most innovative and unique "GOSPEL" CDs I have ever heard. Many folks I know that prefer traditional Christian music don't particularly care for this CD, claiming that it sounds too secular. Perhaps, but that's why I like it. I've grown tired of the traditional stuff and while it's not all bad, I prefer to throw something different in the mix.

First came Marvin Winans Jr's CD, which I reviewed a few weeks back. Next, I heard Deitrick Haddon's latest, "Revealed" (I enjoyed it, but haven't reviewed it yet). Then came Mary Mary. Just to show I'm not closed off to other music, I've also purchased John Legend and Wayne Brady (yes, THAT Wayne Brady), but haven't taken a good listen yet.

Mary Mary's "The Sound" begins with an eloquent spoken word by Deborah Joy Winans. The cd jumps immediately into the title track, which sounds like it was recorded for a 1960's surfer movie. Seriously. The musical style is uniquely different, but not in a negative way. It just makes you want to do the Mashed Potato or the Twist. But Mary-squared is singing about "the sound of victory/the sound of no defeat/the sound of holdin' on/the sound of stayin' strong". It definitely pulls you in by the end.

The CD has a whole radio station vibe, utilizing intros to the next song with (what sounds like) radio station call letters. Cool effect.

"Get Up" is the lead single from the album. It's what Steve Harvey has dubbed "the club song". I definitely understand why. Although Erica and Tina are encouraging you to get off your butts and do something, they also make you want to get off your butts and DANCE!

"Superfriend" has elicted the most talk from people I know and have heard the CD. Featuring rapper David Banner laying out a verse about how he isn't perfect, but God has had his back, the song sounds straight off of the airwaves. Personally, I like it. It bumps. lol. And Banner's verse is honest, which I appreciate.

"God In Me" is my current ringtone. Kierra "KiKi" Sheard lays out some guest vocals on this track, a song that talks about how people often look at you trying to figure out how/why you got it goin' on..."But what they can't see/Is you on your knees/So they next time you get a chance tell 'em/It's the God in Me". That song is hot!! (I heard Michael Baisden play it on his show earlier this week, btw).

The next track, "Boom", is cute to me. It deals with sharing things with others that might be difficult, i.e. "you're jealous, you're selfish, you have a bad attitude". The premise is, you're better off getting it off of your chest than letting it built...eventually, it'll be like "boom!"...and explosion of things you never meant to say in the first place. lol. We've all been there, dude.

"I'm Running" reminds me of 1950's Motown, and I love it. This one is simple, it's about getting closer to God. "So I'm running/if I can't walk then I'll crawl/And I can't help if I fall/Tryin' to get to where You are". It's about the perserverence in getting there. Gotta love that!

"Forgiven Me" is funny, in that it also has old school feel: Its opening actually reminds me of the Jackson 5 song, "Maybe Tomorrow". This is the first slower song on the CD, which deals with remembering where we came from, but never returning there. It thanks God for forgiveness!

The next song, "Dirt", is the closest to classic Mary Mary. It compares life to a garden, that in order to grow, we all "need a little bit of dirt" in our lives. I think it's a great way to acknowledge that..again...none of us are perfect.

Alright, I love love love the next song, "Seattle". The metaphor is great: "Holy Spirit rain like Seattle/Overtake my life like a flood/Like California shake what's not like you/I just want a heart like yours". It's a great mid-tempo song...

It leads right into "I Worship You". The song is powerful in its simplicity. The last few minutes of the song is a modulating repitition of the chorus: "you took everything I was/made me what I am/ and with all I am/I worship you", with an eventual repetition of simply "I Worship You". Although contemporary, I could see this song being sung during praise and worship in pulpits across the country. It's beautiful.

Finally, (if you buy the store CD), is "It Will All Be Worth It", a slow song that lets us know that our stress in life on earth will all be, well, worth it in the end. The closing features a myriad of guest artists, but since I got my cd from iTunes, the only voices I can distinctively make out are Karen Clark Sheard and Rance Allen. I can't tell who those other folks are, but they are numerous. :)

If you purchase the iTunes version (which I HIGHLY recommend), you'll be blessed with "I Trust You", which is my FAVORITE song on the CD. Very real and practical, the lyrics are focused around a failed marriage, and the trust that must remain in God in spite of the circumstances surrounding you. The chorus features Marvin L. Winans singing "I don't know what to do/But what I do know/Is I trust you". The vamp is my favorite part, however: "I trust you and I/I love you cuz you've/Proven yourself over and over again/Don't know just how many times/I needed a friend/You were standing right there in line". Once you hear it, you'll know why. That is repeated and modulated as it builds. Just gives me goosebumps!!

So, that's my review. Mary Mary's "The Sound"? TOTAL WIN.

Randomness

I'm back! I can't tell you why it's taking me a week to blog over here, when my daily existence has been pretty much non-stop. I need to clear my thoughts, so here we go:

** Did anyone see Barack and Michelle on "60 Minutes" last night? They are the most adorable married couple!! They talked about the car he drove during law school, the one with the hole in the floor on the passenger side, and he remarked that she didn't marry him for his money. (cute!) He lamented about his inability to take a walk outside anymore, and said he'd love to take Michelle for a walk, to which she cutely replied, "It's too cold, I'm not walking anywhere with you!". I love them!

** I think it's exceptionally rude when you're exiting an elevator and the person/people waiting to get on don't wait for the elevator to empty first. The elevator ain't goin' nowhere as long as people are in it, dummy.

** My home inspection was this past Friday. It was almost perfect, save an electrical outlet with a non-operational bottom half. Not bad, if you ask me.

** "Saw V". Eh. Meh. Went to see it on Saturday. More of the same, summed up the story, but didn't pack the punch of "Saw". **SPOILER ALERT** When Jigsaw got up off the floor in "Saw", I almost eliminated on myself. That was the craziest thing I'd ever seen.**END SPOILER ALERT**

** I'm starving. My stomach is about to eat itself. And I've recently learned that my stomach doesn't agree with the cream stuffing of Oreo cookies, which is a pretty life-altering thing.

** I didn't know that housebreaking a dog would take this long. Today is Cha Cha's 7 month birthday and she's still having a piss festival on my kitchen floor. And occasionally on the carpet.

** My newest obsession: interior design. I'm trying to nail down the perfect colors for my new walls. I know I have plenty of time to do this, but waiting has never been my strong suit.

** I don't consider myself a fan of Beyonce. I don't own a single one of her CDs, nor any of Destiny's Child stuff. The only Beyonce songs I have on my iPod are "Crazy in Love" and "Listen" (from "Dreamgirls"). I dogged the "Single Ladies" video when I first saw it. But I'll be doggoned, that girl can perform. I have some weird no-homo fascination with her. I DVRed SNL this past weekend so I could watch her perform (and I'm glad I did; the "Dance Biscuits" sketch with her and Justin Timberlake made me laugh so loud that my dog ran in the room to see what was wrong with me). I watched her interview with Oprah last week, along with the performance. And whenever I hear "Single Ladies", it stays in my head for two days.

My New Townhouse!!!!

At 29.5 years old, my dream has come true: I AM A HOMEOWNER!!! My offer was accepted Saturday, and the townhouse pictured above is mine. It was a dream that I thought wouldn't come true, but I've learned that once you get out of your own way and let God take control, anything is possible!!!

I spent the first half of church service in tears yesterday, thanking God for my mother's new job, Obama's election to the Office of President, and my new home. It was truly an amazing week, one that will stand out in my memory for a long, long time.

My closing date is set for December 19, 2008. Because I signed up to work on the 20th like a goofball, I will probably move in on December 21st. Depending upon getting a moving company.

After I sign the contract today and write the first of many checks, I will officially be in escrow.

AMAZING!

Offer Day

I'm a spaz today. My agent submitted my offer for the townhouse last night. She spent all day writing up the offer and researching the property, and she learned that the home has been on the market for a year (!) and the current owners only owe $97,000 on their mortgage. As a result, we dropped my offer price by $10,000 -- considering they would make a profit, regardless. She came over last night to go over the offer, line by line, and had me sign it. In the offer, the closing date is set for December 19, 2008 and we gave them until tomorrow at 7pm to accept or counter. She faxed it over to the seller's agent when she got home last night.

I began to freak out on Tuesday, when the mortgage company emailed me a pre-approval letter and good faith estimate on the home (at full price). My eyes almost bugged out of my head looking at the monthly payment, until I spoke with my mother and she helped diffuse my anxiety by reminding me that a) I probably won't pay full price in a buyer's market b)interest rates can fluctuate dramatically c) and the monthly payment is very close to where I said I wanted to be (once you remove the HOA fees). Whoo-sahhh. Okay I was feeling better, so I told Monique to go ahead and move forward.

So, the offer is officially made! I have the phone next to me, in case we hear back today. I can barely focus. My stomach is in knots! But I'm excited!

I think I'm going to be sick.

(lol)

Pray for me, if that's something you do!

"Barack Obama Elected President"

Once I get around to it, I'll post the picture I took of the television I was watching when those words popped up on screen. It's a moment I'll never forget. I was at my friend's house, watching the countdown ticker as the polls prepared to close in California, Oregon, Washington and Hawaii. I figured they'd immediately add some additional electoral votes to Obama's count, as they did as soon as Pennsylvania's polls close. Instead, those four words appeared on the big screen behind Wolf Blitzer and I went BALLISTIC. (I believe I was the first one in the room to see it -- or at least, react.)

In my head, I have the words of Sam Cooke: "It's been a long/long time comin'/but I know a change is gonna come/Oh yes it is"

And it has.

I hear the words of the congregation singing at Ebenezer Baptist in Atlanta last night: "Deep In my heart/I do believe/We Shall Overcome some day"

Although the country isn't perfect, it's hard not to believe that we have.

I hear the words from a song from one of my favorite movies, "The Wiz": "Everybody look around/'cuz there's a reason to rejoice, you see/Everybody come out/And Commence to singing joyfully/Everybody look up/And feel the hope that we've been waiting for/Everybody's glad/Because our silent fear and dread is gone/ Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully/Just look about/You owe it to yourself to check it out/Can't you feel a brand new day?"

Indeed it is.

Let us keep President-Elect Barack Obama in our prayers.

So, I'm buying my first home....

I broke down and got lazy. Below, my chronicle of this homebuying process from my Xanga blog. It's not over yet.....

October 27, 2008 - "So It Begins"
I finally took the plunge and scheduled a meeting with a mortgage lender. I wanted a clear picture of how much house I can afford at my present salary. It will also help me see if I'm actually ready to be a homeowner or not. Psychologically, I am. Financially...well, I don't know that I've been as diligent with my money as necessary. It's gotten better lately, but I haven't saved up much of a downpayment. So, we'll see.

October 29, 2008 - "Can I Borrow a Few Thousand Dollars?"
This was my lunch meeting with the home loan specialist at Washington Mutual/Chase, Sylvia. I was excited all morning for the meeting, had all of my paperwork, W-2s and paystubs in tow and ready to give to the lady. I was feeling good. Got to the bank, met Sylvia (who is super nice, btw) and got down to it. She told me that due to the recent happenings on Wall Street and the like, banks are no longer accepting anything less than a 10% downpayment. I'm not gonna put ALL my business out there, but in sum, she said that they could offer me a craptastic loan and that I would need a HUGETASTIC downpayment before they'd even consider giving me THAT. This would mean getting a gift from my parents and coming up with the rest myself. She told me that they don't work with any first-time homeowner's programs, (i.e. FHA), so it's 10% or nothing.

Needless to say, I walked out of the bank feeling discouraged. I did the math, and there is no way I could save that much money in a reasonable amount of time. There's no way my family can "gift" me with that much -- and besides, 50% of that downpayment would have to be from my own funds. I called my mom and lamented that I'd be renting for the rest of my life. We discussed my options, which weren't many. I was frustrated, because in an idealistic world, I would've been saving that sum of money since I finished school. However, due to my retardedness in undergrad, I had botched up credit that I've worked VERY hard to fix. And now that I have GOOD credit, I don't have the savings to allow me to get the home I want? I was SO frustrated. I told my mom that my only option was to hit the lottery.

Discouraged, but never defeated, I went back to work and told my co-worker the situation. She immediately gave me the number to her mortgage broker, Jane, who has worked with her on obtaining her two homes. I gave Jane a call and liked her immediately! Over the phone, we went over what just happened at WaMu and I shared with her my difficulties with obtaining the downpayment. She said, "the 3%, you mean?". I said, "they told me TEN!". Jane quickly reassured me that she works with FHA and other programs to reduce the downpayment and get folks into a home. We went over my credit scores, which I conveniently printed off last week, and she told me that due to my good credit and income, she could easily get me a loan that would get me into a nice home. I still need a downpayment, however, which I'll have to conjur up some sort of way. She informed me about the $7500 first-time homebuyers' tax credit, which I can use to repay a "gifted" down-payment, so all I have to do is see who is willing to lend me a few thousand bucks. I had a meeting scheduled with Jane for later that day.

THEN my mom called and told me that she's practically been offered the job in Virginia Beach! (YAY!!!!!) After talking about that for awhile, I told her that I have another mortgage meeting today. My mom told me that if ALL else fails, she'll loan me the money for the downpayment!
Etoshobasha!!!!*running around the room*
*falling to the floor*
THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!

October 31, 2008 - "Never Give Up!"
My meeting with my second prospective lender, Jane Floyd was on thr 29th. Found the building with no problem and went inside. To the left was a markerboard that said "Welcome Carla B". Really??

I liked this place already.

The receptionist offered me something to drink - I opted for a Coca-Cola - and Jane came out to meet me. This woman was tiny. Like 5'2". I liked her immediately. We went back to her office -- she owns the firm, btw -- and shot the breeze for a minute. As she was out of the office to get some paperwork, I turned around and checked out the back wall. All over were photos of churches that she had helped finance/plant all over the world: Kenya, Vietnam, Pakistan, etc. I was impressed! She returned and we talked about that for a minute. And inside, I thanked God that this woman was a Christian!

We got to talking about my current situation and what it is that I want. She had pulled the listings that I emailed to her, and went through the task of going through the numbers for me. She had good faith estimates on three properties that I had sent her, and three very different price points. This was just to show me how the dollars break down, what affects costs, etc. She answered every single one of my questions, no matter how dumb, and walked me through the process. Told me I was DEFINITELY pre-approved, all I have to do now is go out, find a place, and send her the info! How exciting!!!

I called my agent Monique IMMEDIATELY and told her the good news. She sent me some property listings that night. That night, we had plans to go visit some of the homes. My parents are also aware of what's going on - mentioned it to my dad, along with the $7500 tax credit I'll receive next year, so maybe he'll be willing to contribute to the Down-Payment charity fund. (BTW: all down payment assistance programs have been suspended until further notice. Bummer!)

November 3/4, 2008 - "House Hunter!"
This is all happening VERY fast.

I watch "House Hunters" on HGTV obsessively, along with "My First Place"/"My First Home" and "Property Virgins". That is nothing new. What's funny is, now I feel like I'm on one of those shows, since Monique started showing me properties.

Friday I ran out of work at 3:45 so that I could get home, change, pick up Cha Cha and get to Monique's condo. I made it there by 5, which was cool because we had an appointment to view the first property at 5:30. She also pointed out another property that she thought I might like, but we'd check that one out on Sunday. After sitting in 6 years of traffic, we made it to Westchase and the first condo. It was nice, spacious, but my main concerns were that the floor plan wasn't very open (kitchen and family room were far apart and separated by stairs), there weren't walk-in closets, and there was a set of train tracks not even 100 yards from the front door of the place. The price was right, and the townhouse was in walking distance from super-cute West Park Village, but those train tracks killed it for me.

Second place was around the corner and was a disaster. No balcony/patio, which is a must, and it smelled. The people hadn't even completely moved out, so there was food in the pantry, pests, etc. It was NASTY. We got out of there ASAP, but the burn of the stink stayed in my nostrils for another hour! Looked at two other places, the second was pretty nice and had an AMAZING master suite.It needed a little work, but nothing too major. I told Mo to keep that one on the list.

Sunday after Pastor's Appreciation service (it was themed after the Olympics: super FUN!) , we went to visit the next set of townhomes. These places were faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic!! Everything I was looking for, minus great location. Not that they're in the hood; just further east than I wanted to go. It's still a short commute to work, which is nice. They were also a little pricier than I wanted, but there are two units that are on sale for much cheaper. We went back last night to look at them those.

The first unit was the floor plan that I prefer, with three upstairs bedrooms and an open kitchen. The place was vacant, and the previous owners had painted the walls an interesting mix of orange and green. The walls weren't ugly actually, but the paint job was shoddy. The cons were that the washer/dryer weren't included, no closing costs were being offered and the property is a short sale.

The second unit was the OTHER floor plan, with a ground floor master bedroom and eat-in kitchen. The owners were home unexpectedly, which was awwwwkward! But they were gracious enough to let us come in and look around. I immediately loved this place. The eat-in kitchen was great, there were hardwood floor in the living room, the lanai was screened and HUGE, and the owners said that they will include their two flat screen tvs and surround sound in with the sale. AND they're paying 3% closing costs. So....what else is there to discuss? I told Monique that I'm pretty much ready to make an offer. I just want to confer with the parental units first, for any last minute advice.

Let the games begin!