Rest in Peace, King of Pop

I originally wrote this post on another blogging site in 2005. This loss has hit me harder than I ever would've thought. Even when I was younger, I would dread the day Michael left us. In my mind, I'd be a much older woman when it happened, so for this to occur at the mere age of 30 (for him, age 50) is unfathomable. I'm grieving like he was a family member. In many ways, he was. People don't understand it, but there is comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one this rocked by Michael's death. His music will live on.

Michael Joseph Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

The Evolution of a Fan

Jan 2005


I watched the "48 Hours Mystery" on Michael Jackson on Saturday night
and it got me to thinking about the years I spent as a Michael devotee.
I can't pinpoint when, where or how it started but as long as I can
remember, I was Michael Jackson crazy. Unlike many people here on
Xanga, I was actually alive when both Off the Wall and Thriller were
released, although I wasn't even school-aged yet. My parents bought my
brother and me matching "Beat It" jackets with all the zippers. We had

Thriller on vinyl - yeah we did! - and my brother and I used to play it in
the basement all the time. Then, he suddenly got into Prince, and the
Michael vs. Prince debate became a constant in my home. This lasted
until I was in high school, when I finally conceded that yes, Prince is
off the hook. I remember Michael coming to Cleveland on the Bad Tour,
and my parents wouldn't take me. I just had to watch my copy of
"Moonwalker" and like it. Receive it Carla, you will not be going to the concert. I'm still bitter about that, since
I've never seen him perform live and the way things are looking, I
never will.






I hit the seventh grade in 1991, right around the time Dangerous was
released, and I don't know what happened. I became a fanatic. We were
all entering puberty...everyone else was starting to date, but since I
was a goof, Michael Jackson became my new fake boyfriend. My other
goofy friends and I formed our own little clique founded on our
devotion to Michael. While I was in eighth grade "The Jacksons: An
American Dream" miniseries debuted on ABC. It was over. My corny friends
and I had the movie memorized in a matter of months. We had viewing
parties. We celebrated Michael's birthday. For my 13th birthday, I
received a life-size cut out of MJ's pic on his Bad CD. I wrote letters
to his fan club, and received a autographed pic written out to me. My
brother and I used to box anytime he made a negative comment about
Mike. I got offended at the jokes, so I got picked on a lot. Yeah, it
was bad. I was a fan obsessed.



<----Look, it's on sale



I got to high school and suddenly, it was no longer cool to be part of
the Michael Jackson clique. We disbanded, and suddenly the interest
went from celebrities to real life boys. I was still a loyal supporter
- I bought HIStory the day it was released - but my priorities had
shifted. This was either during or right after the first set of child
molestation allegations, and dude I had Michael's BACK. Don't nobody
say nothin' bad about Michael! I even bought the Blood on
the Dance Floor cd to show my Mike support.











Then the shift happened. Maybe I just grew up. Grew out of it. I can't
pinpoint when it happened, but I realized it when Invincible
was
released and I didn't buy it. That was huge..me? Not buying a Michael
Jackson CD? I still don't own it to this day. (although "Butterflies"
is the JAM). I've been guilty of laughing at Michael Jackson jokes. I
can now admit that his appearance is out of hand. My heart breaks
whenever I see a current picture of him. What drove him to destroy his
face like that?



<-----This is on sale too. Maybe I should buy it



And now, here we are on the eve of his big trial, and I don't know what
to think. It's hard for me to believe that he could've actually
molested these kids, but I haven't heard the evidence against him yet.
I think it was definite and serious lapse of judgment to have these
kids in his house/in his bed if he is innocent. Hello, McFly? Welcome
to the real world. At the end of the" 48 hrs" program, there was a
graphic that said that if Mike is convicted on all counts, he could
spent 20+ years in prision! :Shocked: That hit me hard..Michael Jackson
in jail? Geez...I guess we'll see what happens in due time.


Addendum: June 27, 2009

Thank God he was found not guilty. I still to this day don't believe he did anything wrong. Poor judgment, yes? But I never saw Michael Jackson as a manipulative pedophile. I saw him as a troubled man who never had a proper upbringing, and therefore, had stunted emotional development. I loved him with all my heart, as if I knew him, and was longing for an opportunity to see him perform live. It's heartbreaking that I'll never have that chance. My heart aches for his family, for him to be the first one to pass away. I pray that the media is respectful of the family and his legacy.

Rest in peace, Michael.