This is MY Life!

I can never quite understand why people tend to be so concerned about MY actions and decisions I make. It's one thing to care and be concerned that I might be making a poor decision, but it's another thing to basically chastize me for something I have or have not done. Especially when it has no adverse effect whatsoever on their life. I've been confronted with this in the past few weeks in a variety of ways, none of which make sense to me. I have to stop and ask; why do you CARE so much?

There is the trivial stuff: my friend snidely remarking that she's "sick" of me carrying my red purse. I'm sorry - I happen to LIKE my red purse, I'm sorry if that offends you! If it does, buy me a new purse! I won't complain. Comments about how I should do "more" with my hair, how I should cut it, let it grow, etc. Seriously? Unless you are coming over to personally shampoo, condition and style my hair, whatever I choose to do with this head of hair is MY business.

Then there are the bigger issues: my life decisions. Now, I understand wanting to "guide" a friend out of making a bad decision, but in the grand scheme of things, those decisions rarely have a significant impact on the day-to-day life of the "intervener". There are alway exceptions to the rule, of course. Perhaps you don't want me to date a certain guy because it is nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. But if I don't have enough insight to see that, or can't take off the rose-colored glasses long enough to notice the impending train wreck, what's that got to do with YOU?!?! Without getting too specific, I have one friend that used to scrutinize almost everything I did, be it my current beau or...well that was mainly it. Whatever I chose to do with him, there was a commentary. What's funny is that when the tables turned, and I noticed her making similar decisions to the ones I made, I didn't say a word. Although I might not have agreed with some of the things...because hindsight is always 20/20...I knew it wasn't my business.

It's one thing to ASK someone for their opinion and getting an honest reply, but it's the unsolicited advice that irks me to no end. Next time I want some direction, I'll ASK for it!

I wanted to delve deeper into this pet peeve, but I am struggling to keep my eyes open so Ineed to walk around!!!

Before I go, allow me to showcase one of my favorite songs from Marvin Winans Jr's debut CD, "Image of a Man" in stores TODAY!!!

"Been So Long"

(as leaked and bootlegged on YouTube)

Mondays Suck!

In spite of the short week, I feel like running out of the front door, never to return again. Sometimes this working thing is totally overrated. Not to mention, I'm in my post-lunch slump right now. What I wouldn't give for a tall white mocha double shot, no whip, right now. But I've done VERY well with my Starbucks/caffeine weaning program. Since I last wrote about it, I've been to Starbucks twice: once last Monday morning and this past Saturday, while shopping in Orlando (it was a Frappuccino type Saturday). As far as the soda goes, I had a Pepsi last Sunday and a Pepsi Friday night at the debate party. Otherwise, it's been juice and water. I'm quite proud of myself.

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I never appreciated the awesome shopping opportunities in Orlando until this past weekend. Sure, I've been there before and have gone shopping, but something was extra special about this past weekend. I visited two establishments I hadn't visited before; The Prime Outlets on the north end of I-Drive, and the Mall at Millenia. Seriously, I had been missing OUT! They have almost every store you could ever want, and then some. I'm not even a huge shopping freak - after all, I want to buy a home and I need to develop better saving habits - but I made an exception this weekend.

Speaking of which, I purchased the most expensive "clothing" item I've ever bought: a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps. To some this may be no big deal, but I've NEVER been fashion-savvy enough to wrap my mind around spending *that* much on a pair of shoes. And although they were significantly marked down, they were still expensive. After almost having a panic attack about whether or not to buy them, I bit the bullet. And have been completely enlightened. I never knew the power of the "great shoe". I've bought cheap shoes my whole life, but to slip your foot into a designer shoe and wear it with a favorite dress? Made me feel spectacular. Nevermind that I was going to church -- lol -- I was fabulous and chic!! And they feel wonderful on my feet. Now I know what they mean when they say that certain shoes can make your feet happy. :-)

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Add "Coke today", to that caffeine list. I actually nodded off at my desk. Never a good thing.

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Last but not least...."Image of a Man" drops tomorrow!!!!!!:

Sticker Shock

So I've finally experienced the effects of this economic downturn!

Ok, that was far too excited, let me try again:

I'm finally feeling the effects of the economic downturn. (And, I really REALLY need to break my habit of overusing exclamation points). I hit the grocery store yesterday for the first time in eleventy-million months, and walked out with a receipt higher than I have ever accumulated. (except, perhaps, than when I first moved here). Granted, my fridge stock was on the low-low, so that clearly contributed to the high dollar amount that popped up on the cash register. But, $4 for milk $3 for cheese: it all adds up to foolishness being withdrawn from my bank account. Then I immediately drove to the nearest gas station to prevent the gray ghost from going dry. Another hit to the pocketbook. Not to mention, I've been bit by this Homebuying Bug too...the prospective costs of that have me considering other lines of work. I need to make more money!!!!

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Ne-Yo's new CD "Year of the Gentleman" is pretty frickin' great. My girl Tosha gave a great review of the CD on her site. Make sure you get the version with the remix to "Miss Independent" with Jamie Foxx. Good stuff. I miss music that just makes you feeeeel good.

Speaking of which, cheap plug -- my homie Marvin Winans Jr. drops his debut CD, "Image of a Man" on TUESDAY!!! I am soooooo excited!! I've heard the CD multiple times while hanging out with him, and it's that deal. No lie. It's hot! Check him out at http://www.thisismwj.com/ or http://www.marvinjr.com/

[/end plug]

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I'm breaking my own rules, but I need to vent and don't feel like doing it on Xanga.

What has happened to men and their respect for women? It seems like, lately, all I am encountering are men interested in having a "jump-off". I'm sorry, I have more self-respect than that, and therefore am not entertaining this foolishness anymore. I was thinking about this as I drove to work today, and it was getting me pretty angry. What do I look like??? There's this dude I know here in Tampa. When we first met, I found him attractive and wanted to get to know more about him. Many other women did too. He expressed his interest in me and wanted to take me out on a date. That date never happened, it was cancelled the day of. Everytime I see him, he asks if he can come over. I've told him multiple times - in many ways, be it jokingly or seriously - that he cannot come over until he takes me out somewhere. It seems that this goes in one ear and right out of the other, because next time I see him, same thing. He makes comments about how, because I have my puppy, I never invite him over. Stuff like that. Honestly. I'm not an idiot. If you don't think I'm good enough to spend $20 on over dinner, or go to a movie, then why in the sam hell would I invite you over to my house to invade my private spaces? NO SIR. Show me a man who wants to know me for me and takes the time and effort to do so, and I'll show him where I live.

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I'm so happy - the humidity in Tampa has dropped significantly. Time to break out the flat iron!

The Communication Gap

From the day I started blogging in 2003, I've written countless posts about my inadequacy with the telephone. I've discussed how I'm an overall poor "phone friend" - to which, my friends will grant a resounding "aaaaaamen!". I've talked about how, after being on the phone at work ALL day long, I rarely feel up to holding a conversation once I leave the office. I've mentioned how, when I get a phone call, I stop everything I'm doing, plop on the couch, and yap away. This doesn't mean I can't hold a decent conversation, because I can. It means that I rarely take the initiative to pick up the phone and call folk. Suddenly, last week while IM'ing my mother on Gmail chat, it all clicked.

I inherited this craptastic behavior from my family. It's genetic.

How did I come to this fantastic conclusion? My mom and I were IM'ing, first of all. During our electronic conversation, she was sharing with me that my grandmother was here from PR, staying with my great aunt and uncle in Sarasota. And my aunt was fussin' because, in the year I've lived in Florida, I haven't seen them once. My mom sent me all of their contact numbers, and gave them mine. Sadly, I already had my uncle's number programmed into my phone. Oops. Then we discussed my other uncle, who lives 15 minutes from me in another part of Tampa. I needed to connect with him to get to the program in Deltona this past Saturday. I hadn't seen my uncle since March. Not for a lack of trying...he just doesn't answer his phone. I'll call when I'm in the area, or on a slow Sunday afternoon when I know they're not doing anything, and I'll get his voice mail. I talked about him for this too, when they tried to get on me for not coming around more often.

Next, there's my brother. He lives in Los Angeles, so the time difference already makes communication difficult. When I was up north for Labor Day, various people asked me how he was doing. I couldn't really tell them, as we hadn't spoken in two months. I gave a generic "oh he's good, playing music on the regular!" (this I know to be true, thanks to MySpace). When we finally connected a few weeks back, he began to tell me how my father "got on him" about not calling more. *silence on the phone*

Then, there's my nephew. He turned 5 on Saturday. I called his mother that day to talk to him. I hadn't spoken to either one of them since January...there's another story behind all of that, but it doesn't make the situation any less pathetic.

I could go on and on with other embarrassing examples of piss-poor communication between my family members and me, like the infrequent phone calls while I was away at college. It's funny, because when my stepmother entered the picture and used to call me randomly to "check on me", I found it quite odd, i.e."Why is she callin' so much?" It's just not part of my family culture.

To me, this behavior is normal. Typing it out for others to read, I suddenly feel a twinge of embarrassment. I know others whose families are quite close and talk often. That's just not us, not either side. It's like, "see ya when I see ya". It's fostered a great deal of independence in me, not being coddled all of the time by my parents and other relatives, but it's turned me into a terrible "phone friend".

Of course, all of this goes out of the door when I'm dating someone. I expects my phone calls, nucka. (lol)

So the next time anyone is annoyed with me for being noncommunicative or not calling, I'm going to tell them to blame my family.

End of the Day...

Just stoppin' through to drop a few notes before heading home. My puppy gets her sutures removed tonight, and - pending that all is okay - can return to her normal life of morning walks, outside potty breaks and playing with other dogs. The poor thing has been on house arrest since the 12th.

I had a very busy weekend with the Puerto Rican faction of my family. Good times were had by all. I did a thorough recap over on my other blog, so there's no need to get repetitive here. I mentioned in that blog that I am now in "homeowner" mode. I got bit by that bug pretty badly back in 2007, but at that time I knew I wasn't staying in Cleveland, which is where I was living at the time. I researched and researched, learning what all I need to do in order to become a homeowner when I'm thirty years old. The move to Florida sorta halted all of that, financially -- I took a nice chunk out of my meager savings to move - and I REALLY liked my apartment. So I wasn't thinking about buying a home at that time..I knew I would eventually, but I was comfortable. But now, I'm over the apartment. I want more. More space for company, tile or hardwood floors (carpet in Florida is completely useless...it gets filthy), a little backyard or nearby dog park for Cha Cha, just my own hookup. I'll probably aim for a townhome, as I'm not a fan of yardwork. I've already asked my friend for contacts for mortgage brokers -- she's a real estate agent, as is my aunt's friend. I'm ready.

My amusement park jones has also resurfaced. We rode back and forth through Orlando four times over the weekend, and I subliminally drooled every time we passed Universal Studios. My "park pal" has found a great guy, which is great...but I anticipate the relationship drastically reducing our spontaneous park trips. There's talk of going up there in October for Halloween Horror Nights..we'll see.

All that talk about Kanye's new single, "Love Lockdown"...I clowned him for performing it on the VMAs...but doggoneit if the song ain't catchy. I downloaded that joint on Saturday.

Here's something kinda funny: when I was younger, I didn't think that there were any Puerto Ricans who could sing. I'd see black folks singing all of the time, but I never saw Puerto Ricans on TV or in my daily life who could really sang. No one in my family could hold a note, and like I said, television presence - or at least, that I was exposed to - didn't really help to disprove my stereotype. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Marc Anthony and many of the other PR artists/entertainers who can blow. And this past weekend, I was at a 50th anniversary celebration that featured a choir full of older Puerto Ricans from the couple's old church. And they sounded GOOD!! As a child, that might have just made my brain explode.

I should've probably waited to write a post with more substance, but I wanted to stick something in here before I go home. Who knows what the evening holds, after all?

Have You Seen My Childhood??

My friend posted a note on Facebook today, his weekly "random thoughts". I get such a kick out of reading them - the guy is hilarious...and yes, random. In Item #5, he asked if anyone remembered Bill Cosby's Picture Pages, and even included a YouTube link. OMG, I LOVED Picture Pages! I wanted one of Bill's pens soooo badly, but - just as I never got tickets to see Michael Jackson live - I never got my Picture Pages pen. Roaming around YouTube, I found some other clips that took me right back to the good life -- childhood in the 80's.



Picture Pages, of course. In my youth, I never quite realized how "professorish" Bill Cosby sounds on this clip. Is this how he really spoke during every episode? And was Picture Pages REALLY just "Connect the Dots"? And was that REALLY the pen?? Wow...this is what I was all hype over? I admit to feeling a twinge of disappointment about this.




JEM AND THE (FRIGGIN) HOLOGRAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was completely obsessed with this show. I had dolls, the car, the wardrobe closet, t-shirts, and knew all of the songs. I hated Mattel and Barbie and the Rockers for being cheap knock-offs of Jem. The cartoon was GREAT!! I watched the entire first episode on YouTube (because I'm that cool) and was actually entertained! I'm considering picking up the DVD set. My girl Maya already has the whole thing. Jem was my isht, y'all. No one was allowed to say anything bad about Jem. Her man Rio was a bit of a gigalo though, I don't understand how Jerrica was okay with him making out with both her AND Jem? (nevermind they were one in the same). Manwhore!




"KIDS Incorporated". Every day after school, I'd watch this and the "Mickey Mouse Club". "KIDS Incorporated" provided a start for young Fergie (Stacy Ferguson) and Rahsaan Patterson. It's so funny that I used to watch them in this cheesetastic show. But, I loved it. I never understood why Rahsaan always wore that beanie though. Was it because he's black?




Is it just me, or does "Fraggle Rock" have the catchiest theme song???




LMBO, I used to watch "Muppet Babies" on the daily!! I forgot all about this show!!! Those babies had some wacky hijinks in that nursery.





"You Can't Do That On Television". Those wacky Canadians. I didn't even know this show wasn't American. "Did you say 'I don't know'?" *slime* And to think, Nickelodeon is still sliming people to this day. I believe Alanis Morissette used to be a featured actor on this show. Kids sketch comedy at its greatest.




Every Thursday, we were sat down in school and made to watch "Reading Rainbow". Good thing I loved this show! LeVar Burton was always and forever the "Reading Rainbow" guy. Imagine my surprise when I saw him getting whipped as Kunta Kinte. "NO, NOT THE READING RAINBOW GUY!!! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU?!!?!?"





"Pee Wee's Playhouse". I don't feel a need to explain. This show was frickin' great, the highlight of Saturday mornings. Young Lawrence "Larry" Fishburne was a series regular as Cowboy Curtis. I find that hilarious. Meka-leka-hi, meka-hiney-ho....


Remember how the fall season used to premiere the greatest cartoons? Between ABC, CBS and NBC, there was stiff competition over who had the hottest Saturday morning cartoons. They even had "preview specials" to show all of the kids what they could look forward to on Saturdays. These days? There are like 2 cartoons that show on NBC, everything else is the news. And you wonder what's wrong with kids today.

More Post-Work Thoughts....

Driving home, my mind was racing with a bunch of random thoughts. Let's see how I do at remembering them....

I watched yesterday's episode of "Oprah"...if you can't tell by now, my DVR is set to tape it daily. Yesterday's episode was about child predators and the new "Protect Our Children" or "Keep Our Children Safe" bill (I sho' nuff forgot the name). I sat there watching this extraordinarily disturbing episode of Oprah's show and got to thinking about the studio audience. Do you realize that the waitlist for tickets to Oprah is something like 2 years? These people finally got their chance to go sit in the studio audience of their faaaaavorite person's show and were probably hoping to catch a glimpse of George Clooney or perhaps scream and cry uncontrollably because they were surprised with a super-early edition of "Oprah's Favorite Things". Instead, they get to sit and listen to stories of children being raped. You have to wonder - how salty were they?

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I've been wearing my hair au natural since the end of June. That's the curly-twirly,affy-poo-puff look. I'd never been able to embrace my hair's natural texture because for 29 years of my life, my hair length hit the middle of my back. So when I went natural, by the end of the day I'd wind up looking like I had stuck my finger in a light socket and been immediately struck by lightening afterwards. Chaka Khan after a high-speed ride in a convertible. It just wasn't cute. So when I cut my hair in May, I realized that my new length affording me a better opportunity to comfortably wear my hair curly. Low maintenance and no Chaka-factor. I've been rocking that look all summer; high curly ponytail M-F, all out curly on the weekends. There's no use in flat-ironing the 'do, not with this Florida humidity. This past weekend, I had made up in my mind that the worst of Florida summer was behind us and I was prepared to straighten it again. This was the plan for Sunday. As the hours ticked on, I couldn't motivate myself to do it. It doesn't take nearly as long as it used to, but I still couldn't manage to get up and do it. Today, I was never more grateful for shameless laziness. It's like a sauna outside. Had I flat-ironed my hair, I'd be ready to fight someone today. The humidity was so bad that my fingers left smudges on the face of my iPhone as I walked to the car. Ugh.

Me with my friends on their wedding day...and the hair :)

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My job is trying to kill me. More on Xanga, later.

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I am reaaaaallly feelin' Usher's new single "Here I Stand". It's just a fantastic song, in my opinion. That's the kind of music I LOVE...a great slow jam!!

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John McCain was around the corner from my job today, holding a rally. I completely forgot. Which...is totally understandable. Heh. I remember that, when Obama was here a few months back, my co-workers and I were scheming to find a way to get over to the rally. I wonder if McCain got a lot of folks out to support.

Of course he did, this is Florida.

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Apparently, I'm slowly becoming a Floridian. My first clue: I switched from "pop" for "soda". *gasp*

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Day 2 without any caffeine. I'm surviving. It's a fight, when you're so accustomed to getting that morning coffee ~ Starbucks, I miss thee so ~ or grabbing a soda during lunch. I don't know that this caffeine fast will be forever, but I haven't quite figured out how I plan to reintroduce it into my life....if I am successful, that is. :P

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Alright, I need to update my iPhone software. Let's see how long this takes.....

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Didn't take long at all. Came back to say: WHO THE KCUF IS LOUIS and why have people been calling my phone looking for him since I changed my number last year?!? Someone just called me from the friggin' Caribbean, lookin' for Louis. On average, I get at least two calls a week for the dude. I wonder if he really disliked this many people that he didn't bother to give them his new number. Or maybe he died and people don't know. I dunno, but it's obnoxious. I even got a text back in June, wishing me (a.k.a. Louis) a Happy Father's Day.