Brain Drain

A Few Thoughts

2012-01-04T15:33:00.000-05:00

My mind is swirling today and has led me back to this long-neglected blog. This joint has been a ghost town for almost two years, so I'm pretty confident that at this point, I'll be talking to myself. That will have to do.

So much has happened in the past 20 months, the biggest development being that I am now married! Unbelievably, the one who was chronically single for years and wondered if it would EVER happen for her (that would be me, people) is now a wife. Sometimes I can't believe it myself!

Now you're caught up. Onto my thoughts for today....

...which, actually, can be tied to my prior announcement, considering that we spent the majority of 2011 planning our destination wedding. I've been spending much of this afternoon looking at TheNest.com because, if you didn't know this already, once you register on TheKnot.com and actually GET married, you are automatically "referred" to The Nest. Nice. I stumbled across a couple of articles about "Maintaining Friendships after Marriage" and "How To Know if You're a Good Friend", which then let me to "8 Types of Toxic Friends", which then led me to message boards about friendships within marriage, and in general. Following me here? I hope so.

What resonated with me the most is the shared experiences I have had with many of the women who were posting comments on these articles and boards. Ever since my DH (dear Husband) found his way to Florida in mid-2010, I have felt as if my social life was dwindling. Florida can be an interesting place to live, in that it's a beautiful state with plenty of things to do, but sometimes finding the right set of people to do those things with can be a challenge. That was our struggle. Sure, I had my friends from my single days who all took kindly to my (at the time) BF, but they weren't HIS friends. I ended up having a MAJOR falling out with the one half of the couple that I thought we'd be spending the majority of our time with, a fallout that never quite fixed itself, even after hashing it all out in a long conversation. As a result, I, as many of the female posters, began to feel a bit socially isolated. And now that I'm married? Forgetaboutit.

The wedding planning process was eye-opening. There have been people in my life who I had considered friends up until this process began. We hung out, laughed, shared personal experiences with one another. They'd call me when they needed support, and vice versa. Some were people I worked with, others friends from back in the day. One by one, true colors began to emerge and showed me that, really, not everyone is as down for you as I you would like to think.

It amazes me how some find it SO difficult to celebrate another person. To extract himself (or, mostly HERself) from their present situation to be present for someone else. I think about the number of times I've had to do that, and it boggles my mind. It's frustrating when someone is unable to do the same for you. I was thinking about the number of people who stated they WANTED to come to the wedding, but couldn't due to money or the need to travel...yet never sent a gift. That's amazing to me. I'm not greedy but dang, it would've been a nice gesture.

Some attribute this type of behavior to jealousy, which came up several times in the material I was reading today. I've never been the type to be like "that heffa is JEALOUS of ME", because I know how that comes off and don't want to be that girl. I will readily admit that there have been times when I've been jealous of people I know; in fact, I attended a wedding in 2004 that was so amazing and beautiful and awesome that I don't know how my green-eyed monster was able to keep still (not to mention, I was pathetically single at the time and it was the 5th wedding I had attended that year). But, because I know the other side (BEING jealous), I know what to look for in others. People can conceal it so brilliantly too.

Case in Point: Officemate Bridezilla. This was someone I once considered a friend, even outside of work. I helped her get the job she currently holds, because I thought she'd be great at it (which she is) and wanted to see her more. The day I returned to work and announced my engagement (he proposed 12/30/10, we were back to work on 1/2/11), she informed us that HER boyfriend had spoken to her father and asked him for HER hand in marriage. While my (at the time) fiance and I were beginning to exciting process of planning our wedding and sharing our good news with other friends, she decided that she would start planning her wedding as well. Although it seemed odd because she wasn't engaged, we (in the office) were game...at first. She began putting down wedding deposits, getting extra loud with people on the phone, reserving her DJ..all without a ring. Her planning became so central to everything happening in the office that mine was diminished. I felt shut down. I could not discuss any details of my wedding without her comparing it to what SHE was doing.

Finally, almost two months later, her boyfriend proposed and they planned to marry one month after me. Things in that office went from mildly tense to unbearable. This may all be coincidence, but she chose a wedding dress by the same designer as mine. Her engagement ring came from the same store as mine. She ordered her save-the-dates from the same vendor. At this point, I was not discussing my wedding plans at ALL, unless she had left the room. It was a competetion. I later learned that I was being discussed when I was absent from the office; excited conversation would cease amongst the other girls when I returned. I almost felt bullied and hated coming to work. I still planned to invite her to the wedding because of the prior friendship we had; she never acknowledged receiving the save-the-date OR the invitation. Never. Never had anything kind to say about our engagement photos or any of our plans. Never expressed an intent to come; she didn't RSVP to the wedding until I created a separate group to reach out to those who hadn't replied. And I shared an OFFICE with the broad. Her response: Declined.

The straw that broke the camel's back came around my bridal shower. I had two showers; my private shower for invited wedding guests (to which she was invited), and a work shower. She never once acknowledged the planning or invitation to the private shower. And, once my co-workers decided to throw me a work shower and called me first (because my wedding was first), she lost her S@$T. Of course, not to me. But to everyone else who would listen...which, of course, got back to me. When they called and offered her a shower 10 minutes later, she declined. The next day, she and I were alone in the office and after her refusing to speak to me the entire day, I finally turned to her and said "do you have an issue with me? I need you to let me know if you do". She denied it, saying that she was "stressed over her wedding" and encouraging me " not to take it personally". That was that. The next day was my private shower, which she did not attend. In fact, when I returned to work on Monday, she not only ignored the fact that I even HAD a shower, but made to point to excitedly ask our other officemate about her recent vacation.

I was through. I emailed my boss and asked her to get me out of that office, and moved two days later. I deleted and blocked her and her close girlfriends from my Facebook page. I returned her RSVP (because yes, after all this she invited me to her wedding) and stated we would not be in attendance. I got married in November and it was beautiful. Just beautiful. I returned to work to a slew of congratulatory messages - except from her. To this day, I only exchange pleasantries with her. With friends like THIS, who needs enemies?

I told this ridiculously long story as an illustration of how people's true colors tend to emerge. Her example is the extreme; it's bad to say, but I would've expected this terrible behavior from a miserably single person who was trying to sabotage my happiness, NOT someone I once considered a friend who was having a shared experience! My absolute BEST FRIEND got married 6 months before I did, and never ONCE did I feel a spirit of competition with her. I stood in her awesome wedding, she stood in mine. I made a point to be at her pre-wedding activities, and she did the same for me. THAT is friendship. That's how it's supposed to be. I'm grateful for her example to help me weed the "real folks" from the evil in my life.

Saying all this to say, my circle of friends has dramatically shrunk in the past year. It makes me a little sad at times, because I genuinely had good experiences with these people. But sometimes you have to move on, especially when that person is doing more harm than good. Life is too short to dwell on those who suck life from you. The wedding reminded us of those in our lives who are AMAZING, TRUE friends and I wish they would ALL move to Florida! :)

My prayer is that the Lord would bless my husband and me with a genuine group of people who we can laugh with, spend time with, and trust. We already have a few people like that, for whom we are thankful. Can't hurt to have more. :)

Some REAL Foolishness

2010-04-26T21:13:00.005-04:00

I think I can now safely say that I am a reality TV junkie. Before, I allowed myself access to a few reality shows here and there, feeling justified because the shows were wildly popular among the Nielsen ratings folks. “Amazing Race” was and is my all-time favorite program, and I recently gave up on “ANTM” and “American Idol”. But now those latter two shows have been replaced with a smorgasbord of foolishness. (confession: I did allow myself “Flavor of Love” - both seasons and “I Love New York” – both seasons). My DVR is working overtime to keep up with my bad habit, for which I am thankful. I do know that there are some people that are worse, but considering where I was not even a few months ago, I feel much shame! For my own entertainment and perhaps enlightenment, I feel compelled to detail what is so cracktastic about all of my shows.

First of all, I must say that VH-1 is the devil incarnate. There is something about their shows that suck me in. I’m all up in their shows; I think I watch more shows on VH-1 than on any other channel. And here’s why:

“Tough Love” and “Tough Love: Couples”: So I totally love Steve Ward! The dude is no-holds barred. The first two “Tough Love” seasons were pretty good, but once he started focusing on the couples, I got seriously hooked. Some of the issues that the couples are dealing with – trust issues, lack of sex life, poor communication – are real-life problems and some of the advice that Steve gives is helpful. But, mostly, the show is great entertainment. I find myself sitting there wondering who is gonna make it and who is gonna call it quits. We don’t find out until the end of the season. I also like that, in spite of them living in a mansion together and having weekly “challenges”, no one is eliminated or voted off. They’re there to complete the boot camp. And I’m totally tuning in every week!

“Brandy & Ray J: A Family Business”: Truly I do not understand why I’m so into this show. I guess, having a brother of my own, the relationship between the two siblings is interesting…even if I’m not a Grammy-winning R&B star and my brother hasn’t had two dating reality shows. I am quietly cheering on Brandy’s comeback, which must begin with her abandoning her current hair-affair and finding something that does not involve babyhair and lacefronts.

“What Chilli Wants”: Have mercy, I thought I was picky! Watching Chilli try to find a man with this mess of a matchmaker is both compelling and painful. I want to shake her at times to tell her that she’s out of her mind, but then I feel badly for her at times (see this past week’s episode with Floyd in Vegas). I dunno, I hope she finds what she wants.

“Basketball Wives”: I watch this purely for the trainwreckiness of it. I’ve dubbed Evelyn and Jennifer “Evilene” and “Evermean”, one because they are and two, because references to “The Wiz” are fun. At any rate, the amount of delusional thinking, self-aggrandizing and overall snobbiness in this show makes it impossible to turn off – at least for me, anyway. I enjoy watching them just to talk about them on Twitter or read about them on message boards. Wealth does a lady not make. I hope by watching themselves on tv, they'll gain some insight. (#unlikely)

Right behind VH-1 come WE and TLC (it’s a tie) for all of their wedding shows. And I mean, ALL of their wedding shows. Sure, wedding planning is on my mind, but I’m not engaged. (lol) Still, I cannot turn away and cannot stop my DVR from taping all of the wonderfulness!

“My Fair Wedding by David Tutera”: by far my favorite wedding show. I just want to kidnap David Tutera and make him plan my wedding, when the time comes. I love how he comes in and completely kills the wedding design, because you know his designs are gonna much more faaabulous and much more expensive. I could never afford to hire the guy (weddings in his design collection at Disney World start at $60,000…don’t ask how I know that)…so whenever I am engaged, he needs to watch his back! Lol

“Say Yes to the Dress”: Who spends $11,000 on a wedding gown? Clearly, this happens, and Kleinfeld’s in NYC is the place to go to do it. I just shake my head at the amount of money these women spend on their gowns, but enjoy the drama that goes down in the shop. Plus the new season just started, so let the fun begin!

“Bridezillas”: Usually pisses me off more than anything, makes me question how much of this is being played off for the camera because 1) I refuse to believe that these women will act THIS crazy and 2) I cannot understand how the grooms go through with the ceremony after all of the bipolar manic hijinks that these brides get into. Foolishness.

“Four Weddings”: Just got into this one last week. Basically, four brides who already have planned their weddings attend each other’s ceremonies and rate the overall experience, including her dress, food and venue. The winner wins a fabulous honeymoon. It’s just interesting to see how different the brides’ visions are, what works and what doesn’t. Plus it’s super entertaining! I’ll be sticking with this one.

“Platinum Weddings”: Excess to the extreme. I’ve seen some fabulous ceremonies – the one in Mexico in the cave stands out, but seriously, spending $500,000+ on a wedding is just stupid. I can only watch this in doses.

“Rich Bride, Poor Bride”: This one is cool cuz it deals with the actual cost of weddings, what can drive people over budget, and even exposes some of the Groomzillas that exist out there. Lol. Fun times.

Not that I need approval or validation from others, but am I the only one addicted to this craziness??

LDR Realities:The Phone

2010-04-21T17:44:00.002-04:00

Wow, has it really been 6 months since I posted up in here? Eek! Well, I made a promise to myself (and Facebook, for those who cared) that I would start writing again, so here I am. I'll be volleying back and forth between this site -- which is more open for public perusal, and the other one -- which is where I am more free to vent about personal stuff, as needed.

Those who have known me awhile are aware -- or not -- that when I first went back to school to get my Masters, I wanted to focus on relationship counseling. My career has not really led me in that direction, but has not squashed my interest in interpersonal relationships, especially those of the romantic sort. There's this new show on VH-1, "Tough Love: Couples", that has become my new crack. It's just fascinating to me. And although I'm no expert on the topic, I'm now six months into the most grown-up relationship I've ever had -- long distance on top of everything else -- so I feel that I have some quality opinions to add to to the topic. Maybe. I don't plan for this to turn into the "She Knows Everything about Love"blog, because CLEARLY I don't, but sharing my observations can be fun...and perhaps anyone who stumbles across this page will have something to add.

My friend from college had written an interesting blog a few weeks back about how much she boos upon long-distance relationships, with good reason. Was this the ideal situation for me? Not at all. Is he worth it? Absolutely. But, we continue to bump heads around an essential tool that I've had issues with for many years: the telephone.

Now, I've been on the other end of this spectrum. As my girl Kat and I discussed on Saturday, we've encountered the brothas who believe in "textual relationships". My man is not cut of this fabric. He will text during work as necessary,but also steals moments to call and say "I just wanted to hear your voice". Those things are sweet and endearing. They always make me smile. So, my issues do not stem from this. No, my issues come after a long day at work. He is one hour behind me (Eastern Standard versus Central), so when I get home, I go straight into veg mode. I mean, peel off the work clothes, put on my play clothes, walk the dog, turn on the TV veg mode. By the time I'm good and comfortable, he calls. We work in similar fields, but we deal with our workdays differently -- I leave work AT work, while he likes to process his day with me. Sometimes that takes 5 minutes, sometimes it takes 20. Unfortunately, I have an attention span of a gnat (and am not afraid to admit it!). So at minute marker 10, I'm disengaged. This boils down to the basic problem I've had with friends who are less understand of who I am: I am not a phone person. I am a direct communicator, or so says the communication style assessment I took last month. Meaning, I am a "get to the point, no need to illustrate the story" type person. He, on the other hand, is an illustrative and detailed storyteller. I tend to stay on the phone even when I don't have anything to say or contribute to the conversation.

Fortunately, I took this assessment with him and we were able to identify our differences. Yeah..great. So now what? It's one thing to know information; the important part is, what do you do with this new information?

We've resolved it like this - when I know I'm distracted, like watching something on TV or reading...whatever, I'll get off of the phone. As simple as that sounds, when you only see someone once a month, every moment matters. Or, at least you convince yourself that it does. So, we've been learning as we grow that we do have lives and interests outside of each other and pursuing those is not a slight against our relationship. Balance, people.

We'll always talk enough to see what kind of day the other is having, hopefully all is well and if we need to talk later, we will. If we have the time and desire to sit on the phone for a couple of hours, we do that. Either way, we make sure that the other is happy. Nothing replaces physically being together in the same room, but with this current situation, we'll take what we can get.

M.I.A.

2009-11-04T20:27:00.000-05:00

So, not only have I been negligent of my blogging "responsibilities", I've also been neglecting some of my buddies. I've been fussed at so much this past week that I'm trying to reach out and make amends, with folk, while updating people on what's been going on.

I've been doing my fair share of traveling this month, as anyone on Facebook can tell you. I traveled to Los Angeles during the first/second week of October to visit my brother and meet my future sister-in-law. My "quasi-excitement" about the trip dissipated the moment I arrived. Devon, my future-SIL, took good care of me when my brother was busy with school or work. She and I went shopping, out to eat, talked wedding stuff. It was great. The three of us went to Six Flags Magic Mountain on that Friday, and had a freakin' blast. First of all, the park was essentially empty. The longest line we stood in was 45 minutes for the Deja Vu. The park had sooooo many coasters, and I later learned that this particular park is in a constant battle with Cedar Point for the title of "most roller coasters". I believe Magic Mountain surpassed CP this year with the opening of their wooden "Terminator:Salvation" ride. Intense. The scariest thing I've ever ridden, the X2, was the culmination of our day. Never have I ridden a contraption that sent me uphill on my back,hanging off the side of the track, and flipped me continuously throughout the ride. OMG that mug was SCARY, but FUN! In terms of celebrity sightings, I only saw Fabio and Tiny "Zeus" Lister during my time there. I never see, like, Will Smith. Always the randoms.

Another trip I just returned from was a weekend trip to Dallas to visit my friend Jocelyn, her hubby Courtney, and to attend her son's first birthday party. (Note to self: upload the pics!) Another of my friends from back in the day, Kim, joined us from New Jersey, along with Jocelyn's parents from Cleveland. I don't think I've ever gone out of town and not spent a dime. We spent the ENTIRE weekend in the house, from prepping for the party to hanging out in the "man cave" to having an impromptu worship service at the house. It was really nice to see my friends again (I hadn't seen Kim in three years) and catch up. It was a nice getaway and although I was a little hesitant to go at first, I'm glad I had a chance to take the trip.

As a result of these two, I had to cancel another trip to Atlanta that I was supposed to take this weekend for Kat's birthday party. Sucks rocks. I am planning to go to Chicago right before Thanksgiving, and of course there is the big family cruise in December.

I also closed my Twitter account earlier this month. It just made no sense to me. I understood using it in an attempt to keep up with folk, but it became more of a nuisance to check than fun to use. So, I said good-bye.

Last but certainly not least, my biggest distraction this month has been HIM. This still isn't "Facebook Public" and most of my friends aren't aware yet, but I am now....finally....after 10 long years....in a relationship! I'm dating someone that I've known for 9 years and had some past romantic involvement with, effective October 23rd. Although it's new -- we've only been officially together for two weeks -- our long-term close friendship and our dating history has made this all VERY easy. The hardest part,though? It's long distance. It's never easy. He lives in Chicago and I'm here. He came down to see me a few weeks ago, which is when we made our relationship official, and I'm going to go see him in a couple weeks. (I gotta find my winter coat). It's exciting because I know, without a shadow of a single doubt, that this is the man I am going to marry. I'm not being spooky, I just know this. We've talked about it. Where/when/how many guests etc. We've talked about kids. I've known him so long that nothing surprises me. I've met his parents and he's met mine (it was years ago, but still). My folks remember him and vice versa. And we are crazy about each other. It's so nice to finally have reciprocated love, y'all. This is such a foreign concept to me. He's working very hard on getting himself moved to Tampa, praying for a job opportunity to open up to make that happen. At any rate, much of my incognito-ness(?) lately has been due to long long phone conversations in the evenings. Thank the LORD for AT&T's A-list, because all of those calls are now FREE. AT&T FTW! So, keep us in your prayers....ya girl is happy and there is a man involved!

We Are Family?

2009-09-08T22:31:00.002-04:00

Super-long hiatus, but I'm back. Seriously -- I don't do the things I used to enjoy so much (writing, dancing, etc), so I need to start getting it together. I'm trying. I'm blogging on Xanga weekly, and I'll try to do so here.

I was compelled to return to this blog site to discuss the experience I had in Orlando on Friday and Saturday. But before I do, let me add this disclaimer: my negative feelings have absolutely nothing to do with my beloved Maxwell himself, who I had the pleasure of seeing live for the second time this summer. He performed beautifully as always. No, my issue came about the event itself.

Okay. The Tom Joyner Family Reunion has been held in Orlando for the past six or so years. The package price to the event, which includes lodging, concert tickets, park tickets, etc start in the upper 100's and go up to the thousands, depending on size of your tribe. Being that I live in Tampa, I did not see the need to purchase a package deal, especially when they were selling tickets to individual events. Now, I had seen Maxwell perform live in a much smaller venue in Clearwater, FL on July 30th, so when I saw he was returning to the area in September, I wasn't completely pressed. I had excellent seats to the July show and Maxwell waved at me, so I was (almost) satisfied. *wink* However, I told my girl - who missed the July show - all about it and she wanted to go, so I told her I'd go again and make a mini-weekend out of it.

She graciously purchased the ticket, which was $65 once you added taxes and fees, and I paid her back for it. We learned at that time that the concert was general admission, and the ticket said the show started at 9. The general admission thing had me worried, but the seating chart on the website made it appear that it would be almost banquet like, with circular tables and such.

I had to work on Friday, so I was rushing like crazy. The girls had already checked into the hotel,and I finally arrived at 7:45. We also learned earlier that day that the doors to the concert didn't open until 9 (show start time unknown), so we figured we had time. But not much...after I got dressed in a flash, we left the hotel at 8:30 to go to the Gaylord.

We got there and parked, and saw a line of black folks that was long, but not ridiculous. However, once we got IN the line, we learned that it snaked throughout the bottom floor of the hotel, with the venue being one story up. :-/ We were way in the back of the line, but there were a LOT of people still behind us. While in line, we also learned that the venue held 5,000 people. Once they finally opened the doors at nine, we slowly walked our way through the hotel, and in 20 minutes, we got to the venue. It wasn't even a real concert hall; it was like a gigantic ballroom with rows and rows of seats set up. By the time we got in there, we had no choice but to sit towards the back. The stage was soooooo far away. We weren't worried; there were two large screens on each side of the stage and we knew we'd get a view then. Maxwell took the take the stage at 10:30 and would you know, THEY NEVER TURNED THE SCREENS ON!!! People were sooo mad, my friends included. We couldn't stand the whole show since the seats weren't stadium seating....out of courtesy, we remained seated most of the show. (Although I HAD to jump up when he went into "Til the Cops Come Knockin'"...LOVE IT). I was honestly sooooo glad I saw him in Clearwater, because all of the intimacy of that show was lost in this particular venue. Of course it was sensual, but it wasn't the same because we couldn't see his face and see what he was doing. Boo. My Maxwell love forever reigns, but next time I plan to be in an assigned seat in a small venue. Thank you.

Let me just add, the experience didn't completely sour everything. My girls - self included - continued to drool over Maxwell for the next two days, even though our seats were 12 miles away from the stage.

After the show, we were too hungry to stay for Tom's afterparty and went to IHOP instead. Two of us went to Sea World the next day, where my girl had heard that Tom was having a Family Reunion BBQ. Apparently he invited everyone in radioland, but when we arrived we found out that you had to have a special bracelet to get into his special viewing of Shamu's Believe show and the BBQ. WTF. About midday, I turned to my girl and asked, "has anyone from the family reunion spoken to you? At ALL?". She told me, "nope". Me neither. The people we encountered, and it was a lot of them, especially at Sea World, were not very friendly. They just walked by without speaking, even when you acknowledged them with a headnod and smile. Or an actual hello. In fact, one man - so irate that he was in the wrong location for the BBQ with his "fat pockets" and ability to eat whatever he wanted (don't ask) - hit me with his stuffed Shamu toy while trying to leave the queue line. And I couldn't get so much as an "excuse me". It seriously turned me off from attending any other TJMS events, which sucks. Becuase Tom's event at the Florida Aquarium for the National Assn of Black Journalists was really nice.

I don't know, maybe I shouldn't let this turn me off, but I paid good money for that concert and I'm glad I didn't pay for the others. I imagined it would be better organized. And that people would be warmer. I know that this is one family reunion that made me feel like an outsider. Boo.

Rest in Peace, King of Pop

2009-06-27T19:08:00.004-04:00

I originally wrote this post on another blogging site in 2005. This loss has hit me harder than I ever would've thought. Even when I was younger, I would dread the day Michael left us. In my mind, I'd be a much older woman when it happened, so for this to occur at the mere age of 30 (for him, age 50) is unfathomable. I'm grieving like he was a family member. In many ways, he was. People don't understand it, but there is comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one this rocked by Michael's death. His music will live on.

Michael Joseph Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

The Evolution of a Fan

Jan 2005

I watched the "48 Hours Mystery" on Michael Jackson on Saturday night
and it got me to thinking about the years I spent as a Michael devotee.
I can't pinpoint when, where or how it started but as long as I can
remember, I was Michael Jackson crazy. Unlike many people here on
Xanga, I was actually alive when both Off the Wall and Thriller were
released, although I wasn't even school-aged yet. My parents bought my
brother and me matching "Beat It" jackets with all the zippers. We had

Thriller on vinyl - yeah we did! - and my brother and I used to play it in
the basement all the time. Then, he suddenly got into Prince, and the
Michael vs. Prince debate became a constant in my home. This lasted
until I was in high school, when I finally conceded that yes, Prince is
off the hook. I remember Michael coming to Cleveland on the Bad Tour,
and my parents wouldn't take me. I just had to watch my copy of
"Moonwalker" and like it. Receive it Carla, you will not be going to the concert. I'm still bitter about that, since
I've never seen him perform live and the way things are looking, I
never will.

I hit the seventh grade in 1991, right around the time Dangerous was
released, and I don't know what happened. I became a fanatic. We were
all entering puberty...everyone else was starting to date, but since I
was a goof, Michael Jackson became my new fake boyfriend. My other
goofy friends and I formed our own little clique founded on our
devotion to Michael. While I was in eighth grade "The Jacksons: An
American Dream" miniseries debuted on ABC. It was over. My corny friends
and I had the movie memorized in a matter of months. We had viewing
parties. We celebrated Michael's birthday. For my 13th birthday, I
received a life-size cut out of MJ's pic on his Bad CD. I wrote letters
to his fan club, and received a autographed pic written out to me. My
brother and I used to box anytime he made a negative comment about
Mike. I got offended at the jokes, so I got picked on a lot. Yeah, it
was bad. I was a fan obsessed.

<----Look, it's on sale

I got to high school and suddenly, it was no longer cool to be part of
the Michael Jackson clique. We disbanded, and suddenly the interest
went from celebrities to real life boys. I was still a loyal supporter
- I bought HIStory the day it was released - but my priorities had
shifted. This was either during or right after the first set of child
molestation allegations, and dude I had Michael's BACK. Don't nobody
say nothin' bad about Michael! I even bought the Blood on
the Dance Floor cd to show my Mike support.

Then the shift happened. Maybe I just grew up. Grew out of it. I can't
pinpoint when it happened, but I realized it when Invincible
was
released and I didn't buy it. That was huge..me? Not buying a Michael
Jackson CD? I still don't own it to this day. (although "Butterflies"
is the JAM). I've been guilty of laughing at Michael Jackson jokes. I
can now admit that his appearance is out of hand. My heart breaks
whenever I see a current picture of him. What drove him to destroy his
face like that?

<-----This is on sale too. Maybe I should buy it

And now, here we are on the eve of his big trial, and I don't know what
to think. It's hard for me to believe that he could've actually
molested these kids, but I haven't heard the evidence against him yet.
I think it was definite and serious lapse of judgment to have these
kids in his house/in his bed if he is innocent. Hello, McFly? Welcome
to the real world. At the end of the" 48 hrs" program, there was a
graphic that said that if Mike is convicted on all counts, he could
spent 20+ years in prision! :Shocked: That hit me hard..Michael Jackson
in jail? Geez...I guess we'll see what happens in due time.

Addendum: June 27, 2009

Thank God he was found not guilty. I still to this day don't believe he did anything wrong. Poor judgment, yes? But I never saw Michael Jackson as a manipulative pedophile. I saw him as a troubled man who never had a proper upbringing, and therefore, had stunted emotional development. I loved him with all my heart, as if I knew him, and was longing for an opportunity to see him perform live. It's heartbreaking that I'll never have that chance. My heart aches for his family, for him to be the first one to pass away. I pray that the media is respectful of the family and his legacy.

Rest in peace, Michael.

Thirty and Fabulous!!

2009-05-03T17:39:00.004-04:00

It's been a minute since I've written here. Almost three months; wow. Much has been happening in the life of me....most prominently, I've begun working with the federal government at the Tampa VA Hospital. I've been there a little bit more than a month, and I'm enjoying the job thus far. Nevermind the pay raise - which is nice :) - but the work itself is better than my former job. My patient list never goes over 24, versus the 60-80 some patients I used to be responsible for assisting. The nuts and bolts of the job are the same (discharge planning and counseling), but having less patients allows for more time with each one. And I enjoy working with the veterans. These guys sacrificed their lives in order to make this country a safer place, and many of them have fascinating stories. Loving the new gig.

I also got a new car last month. The old one had some time left on it, but the cost of maintaining it was becoming more than a notion. So I traded it in after 8 years and got a 2007 Camry. It's a larger car and is in this funky aqua-green color. I love the car but not looking forward to my first car note in 4 years.

Finally, I hit a milestone: I turned 30 years old on April 28th! I can't believe I'm actually 30!!! It feels good at the moment, but it's also very new. I've stepped up my nutrition/exercise regime....I want to keep everything tight as I get older! My birthday celebration was a blast; my girls came down from Tallahassee and I also celebrated with my girls here in Tampa. Dinner, movies, shopping, pampering, comedy show and a night of dancing. On my actual birthday, I went to Magic Kingdom with another of my girls. A total blast; what a great way to ring in 30! The party continues in two weeks as I travel to Chicago to party with my girls Jynnifer and Maya for THEIR 30th birthdays. Can't wait, I haven't been to the CHI in four years!

Hello 30!!!!

Words of Wisdom

2009-02-13T10:17:00.004-05:00

"You are better off being single, wishing to be married, than to be married wishing you were single again. You have the rest of your life to be married; enjoy the few years you have of being single" - E. Royster Harper

My former employer uttered those words to me almost seven years ago, and they have stuck with me since. With the imminent approach of Valentine's Day, there is no time like the present to reflect on the blessings of singlehood -- and lament over the lack of consistent companionship.

A very close friend of mine is in a situation he wishes to escape. Married five years ago at the age 24, he is beginning to feel that he rushed into matrimony and is contemplating next steps. He acknowledges feeling envious of my freedom as a single and childless woman, and has found himself in an unfulfilling marriage (no kids). I don't know what to say. As the single woman who desires a companion, I encourage him to appreciate the fact that he has found love. I tell him how difficult it is to be single out here...but, maybe that experience is different for single men than it is for women. I know plenty of married women who say that they do not envy me and my current relationship status. Thanks -- that's comforting.

On the flip side, the majority of my friends are (ostensibly) happy. Two of my closest friends here in Florida have been married for over 6 years and are blissful. I've spent enough time with them to know that the love, passion, and respect they have for one another is genuine. It's the relationship I long to have, full of laughter, dining out, activity and travel. They've restored my faith that marriage doesn't HAVE to be boring and dull.

At the same time, I do cherish my freedoms. Many of my friends who are single moms told me that they were jealous of my ability to pick up and move to Florida on a whim. Some married friends tell me to enjoy my freedom to make random - and sometimes stupid - decisions (and purchases like Manolo Blahniks) without having to consult with anyone or hide my bags when I get home. I wanted to wait until I was betrothed to purchase a home, but developed a "why wait?" mentality instead. As Royster told me way back when, I have so many years left ahead of me (God-willing) to enjoy the fruits of matrimony. Once these 20- 30- somethings are gone, you never get them back. I look forward to walking down the aisle, having kids, etc....but, in hindsight, I am glad I didn't settle down earlier. I look at the things I've experienced in my 20s and am thankful for them, both good and bad. I'm excited to see what the future holds, now that most of my individual goals have now been met (I just need to get myself overseas...)

With that said: to those in relationships, Happy Valentine's Day. To those who are not: Happy Singles' Solidarity Day. :)

Addicted

2009-01-23T11:49:00.004-05:00

"Hello, my name is Carla and I am addicted to social networking"

It's bad y'all. Facebook is going to be my downfall. I cannot understand WHY it's so addictive, or why I cannot stay off of that site. It's a compulsion. The only comfort I get is knowing that I am not alone in my addiction.

When I joined Facebook in 2004, I thought it was stupid. I didn't understand what was so attractive about its simplicity. At the time, it was only open to college students -- people I saw regularly, since I still lived in Ann Arbor. You had a profile, a picture and that was it. Stupid.

Shortly thereafter, they incorporated the ability to post pictures. I believe that this is when I officially became addicted. Not to mention, I had moved to Ohio at this point and it was a good way to stay in touch with my Michigan folks -- and people from other colleges. Simultaneously, my brother invited me to join MySpace and I found myself on there ALL of the TIME. Facebook..afterthought. MySpace addiction continued for awhile, and I contemplated deleting my Facebook account several times.

However, at this point it was open for anyone to join. People I hadn't seen or heard from in YEARS suddenly started sending me friend requests. Preschool friends, elementary and high school acquaintences, ex-boyfriends and the like, friends from Detroit, etc. And because talking on the phone is one of my largest deficiencies, this became a wonderful way to stay in touch with people and get updated on their lives. Another attractive perk was the ability to find friends when I was going on vacation. For example, I went to Los Angeles in 2006, and thanks to Facebook, I linked up with my college friend Eddie for a wonderful night of salsa dancing.

The more people that joined and added me, the more I felt compelled to visit the site and see what was going on. Eventually, the Facebook devils added the "notifications", "chat", "status updates" and then the ability to comment on one's status update. After that, I was done. Today, I find myself checking Facebook every few minutes. Thanks to my iPhone, I almost unconsciously tap the Facebook app and look for a little red notification dot. And, as confident as I am with my new beau situation, I catch myself looking at his page for any females trying to push up on him. (lol, *smh*). Facebook can get you into trouble.

It's funny because just this week I've had three phone conversations....about Facebook. It's really changed the face of modern communication. How much you learn about others. I find I can't tell stories anymore, because people already know my isht from my compulsive status updates. (lol)

They're going to need to come up with a 12-Step Program for Facebookers who can't break the habit. Sign me up.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T09:01:00.002-05:00

Hellllooo 2009!!!! Looking forward to big things in the upcoming year. 2008 was a fantastic year for me personally and professionally, with many positives and very very few negatives. In retrospect:

In 2008...

...Nobody close to me passed away.

....I finally had the opportunity to date my "Dream Man", which turned out to be a disappointment. As some dreams are, when they become reality. lol

...I attempted to enter two long-distance relationships, neither of which worked out. And for that, I'm grateful.

...I finally settled in on a church home

...I went on two cruises, developed a massive crush on the cruise director, and played The Amazing Race in Cozumel. Amazing.

...Won a free trip to Las Vegas

...Two dear friends were married and two of my hometown girls had babies

...I adopted Cha Cha and learned first-hand the rigors of being a pet owner

...I closed on my first home, something I hadn't been planning on even in early October

...I grew very close to The Boos, as they are now known, and they became my Tampa BFFs

...I began dating an amazing man, who makes me smile at the mere thought of him

...I officially became addicted to Facebook (lol)

...And lastly, I survived long enough to see the first black President elected to office!

I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store. Topping 2008 will be a tall order, but I'm believing God to make it happen!!

All Moved In

2008-12-23T12:36:00.001-05:00

Moving is a pain in my left butt cheek, but it's done. I have signed my name to the dotted lines..and there were many lines...and I now own my first home. It's nuckin' futs, I tell you. It hasn't sunken in yet, that this place is MINE. There is so much more space than I'm used to, and for the first time ever, I have extra bedrooms! God is sooooo good. I plan to write something more succinct in due time, but for now I just wanted to check in and testify! :)

I pray whoever reads this has a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

It's Almost been a MONTH?!?

2008-12-17T09:10:00.003-05:00

Wow, I have fallen off of the blogging tip, big time. My life is crazy right now. Not in a bad way, yet crazy enough to neglect my beloved blogspot. Good news is, I am closing on my townhouse this Friday and I move on Saturday. I've been packing, packing, packing. Trying to get everything switched over (I'm on hold with Brighthouse now...they seem to think it wise to schedule my cable appointment at the same time I'll be moving. Um, no.)

With all that's going on, I've had a difficult time getting into the Christmas spirit. I bought a couple of gifts, but nothing extravagant. I get on a plane to Cleveland on Christmas morning, and will then travel to Pittsburgh, DC, Richmond and Virginia Beach. In the course of four days. This is how I roll. I just hate I won't have much time to get settled in my new digs. I wanted to get started on some painting, but I guess that will have to wait until the new year.

I'll try to do better about updating. I'm sure my life as a new homeowner will be much more interesting. Let's hope.

Can't Help It

2008-11-28T12:56:00.002-05:00

I'm a believer that people carry something that either attracts them to or repels them from others. Some call it an aura, some call it a spirit, some call it a vibe. Whatever it may be, I feel that I'm extremely sensitive to it. It's fascinating; from the moment I meet a person, I can know whether or not I will want to be this person's friend or not. It's not foolproof - sometimes I'm turned off by people who turn out to be cool, or am just all out confused about if I want to be around him/her - but when it's on, it's powerful.

Example/inspiration for this post: This past Wednesday night, I was out with my friends at Jackson's. They met this guy last week at another event, and he was in the house Wednesday night. From the moment I was introduced, I wanted to run the other way. I don't know why. I can't explain it. He kept coming back over and joking with my friends, and I would shut down and withdraw everytime he came back. He kept trying to joke with me, and I looked at him like "you don't know me, don't even try it". Eventually, he left me alone. He knew I wasn't havin' it. My friend was like, "wow, you REALLY don't like him!". I told him that his vibe was just all wrong.

Another example. While working in Cleveland, the charge nurse on my floor wanted to hook me up with this cop. He came to the hospital daily to pick up lunch for the prisoners at the local lockup, and he was a younger, attractive guy. I talked to him a few times and we exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone, and it was the most RANDOM conversation I've ever had. It was borderline creepy. After that, I wasn't interested. I'd see him at work all of the time and, like the other guy, just wanted to run the other direction. I even started dodging him. A few months ago, my friend called me and told me that Creepy Cop had been arrested for raping a female prisoner.

On the flip side, there are some people I meet and like immediately. It takes no coercion, no "getting to know you"...I just like them from the start. And those people tend to remain long-term friends, as they continue to prove why I thought he/she was so awesome in the first place.

As for the Questionables - I've met a few here in Florida. There are two people I can think of off the top of my head, both females, that give me a love/hate vibe. At some points, she's completely awesome and I'm glad to be around her, and in the next minute I am completely turned off/pushed away by something she said or did. I know this makes me sound bipolar, but I promise I'm not! I keep my distance from both of these females as a result of this. Again, I can't put my finger on it...they just irk me in a remarkable way and I don't know why.

Tagged by Tosha

2008-11-23T20:57:00.004-05:00

I stole the pic too. lol

1. I overuse the word "random". It's awful. I believe this started when I lived in Michigan. EVERYTHING is "random": the day, events, people, my blog.....I need an alternate word. HELP!

2. I just noticed this last week: I was eating Lays potato chips and found myself digging in the bag for the ones that are curled in half. I realized that I always do this. For some reason, the chips that are folded over are my favorites. They taste the same as the other chips, so I don't quite understand why it matters to me.

3. I live by a schedule, completely unintentional. Even if I'm meeting someone on the weekend, I give myself an estimated time of arrival and feel a sense of failure if I don't match or beat it.

4. I had a TiVo. I was proud of my TiVo. But it wasn't HD. There was no point, so I discontinued my service and use the local cable company's DVR. It sucks. I want my TiVo.

5. I have a fantastic sense of direction, except for in two cities: Toledo, Ohio and Washington, DC. Something about the layout of these two cities makes no good sense to me. I can't find my way around, and find my self sho-nuff lost. Anywhere else, I can ride to a destination one time and find my way there again, without incident.

6. I overuse "LOL". Most people do this. I, however, am self-conscious about it. I am trying to break my "LOL" habit by inserting emoticons or simply saying "haha". It's just not the same as good ol' LOL.

7. I am addicted to Burger King. If I ever find myself hungry, my first thought goes to BK. This was all I thought about in church. Raced there after service, got my usual double-cheeseburger combo, ate half of the fries and didn't touch the burger. What's really going on?

That's it. Since not many folks read this blog, if you read this entry consider yourself TAGGED! Tosha, you are excused. :-)

New Music Review: Mary Mary, "The Sound"

2008-11-19T11:20:00.008-05:00

I'm chipping away at my new CD's, one at a time. Ever since I hit "play" on my iPod and heard Mary Mary's latest, I've had a hard time pressing "stop". Seriously, their latest album is one of the most innovative and unique "GOSPEL" CDs I have ever heard. Many folks I know that prefer traditional Christian music don't particularly care for this CD, claiming that it sounds too secular. Perhaps, but that's why I like it. I've grown tired of the traditional stuff and while it's not all bad, I prefer to throw something different in the mix.

First came Marvin Winans Jr's CD, which I reviewed a few weeks back. Next, I heard Deitrick Haddon's latest, "Revealed" (I enjoyed it, but haven't reviewed it yet). Then came Mary Mary. Just to show I'm not closed off to other music, I've also purchased John Legend and Wayne Brady (yes, THAT Wayne Brady), but haven't taken a good listen yet.

Mary Mary's "The Sound" begins with an eloquent spoken word by Deborah Joy Winans. The cd jumps immediately into the title track, which sounds like it was recorded for a 1960's surfer movie. Seriously. The musical style is uniquely different, but not in a negative way. It just makes you want to do the Mashed Potato or the Twist. But Mary-squared is singing about "the sound of victory/the sound of no defeat/the sound of holdin' on/the sound of stayin' strong". It definitely pulls you in by the end.

The CD has a whole radio station vibe, utilizing intros to the next song with (what sounds like) radio station call letters. Cool effect.

"Get Up" is the lead single from the album. It's what Steve Harvey has dubbed "the club song". I definitely understand why. Although Erica and Tina are encouraging you to get off your butts and do something, they also make you want to get off your butts and DANCE!

"Superfriend" has elicted the most talk from people I know and have heard the CD. Featuring rapper David Banner laying out a verse about how he isn't perfect, but God has had his back, the song sounds straight off of the airwaves. Personally, I like it. It bumps. lol. And Banner's verse is honest, which I appreciate.

"God In Me" is my current ringtone. Kierra "KiKi" Sheard lays out some guest vocals on this track, a song that talks about how people often look at you trying to figure out how/why you got it goin' on..."But what they can't see/Is you on your knees/So they next time you get a chance tell 'em/It's the God in Me". That song is hot!! (I heard Michael Baisden play it on his show earlier this week, btw).

The next track, "Boom", is cute to me. It deals with sharing things with others that might be difficult, i.e. "you're jealous, you're selfish, you have a bad attitude". The premise is, you're better off getting it off of your chest than letting it built...eventually, it'll be like "boom!"...and explosion of things you never meant to say in the first place. lol. We've all been there, dude.

"I'm Running" reminds me of 1950's Motown, and I love it. This one is simple, it's about getting closer to God. "So I'm running/if I can't walk then I'll crawl/And I can't help if I fall/Tryin' to get to where You are". It's about the perserverence in getting there. Gotta love that!

"Forgiven Me" is funny, in that it also has old school feel: Its opening actually reminds me of the Jackson 5 song, "Maybe Tomorrow". This is the first slower song on the CD, which deals with remembering where we came from, but never returning there. It thanks God for forgiveness!

The next song, "Dirt", is the closest to classic Mary Mary. It compares life to a garden, that in order to grow, we all "need a little bit of dirt" in our lives. I think it's a great way to acknowledge that..again...none of us are perfect.

Alright, I love love love the next song, "Seattle". The metaphor is great: "Holy Spirit rain like Seattle/Overtake my life like a flood/Like California shake what's not like you/I just want a heart like yours". It's a great mid-tempo song...

It leads right into "I Worship You". The song is powerful in its simplicity. The last few minutes of the song is a modulating repitition of the chorus: "you took everything I was/made me what I am/ and with all I am/I worship you", with an eventual repetition of simply "I Worship You". Although contemporary, I could see this song being sung during praise and worship in pulpits across the country. It's beautiful.

Finally, (if you buy the store CD), is "It Will All Be Worth It", a slow song that lets us know that our stress in life on earth will all be, well, worth it in the end. The closing features a myriad of guest artists, but since I got my cd from iTunes, the only voices I can distinctively make out are Karen Clark Sheard and Rance Allen. I can't tell who those other folks are, but they are numerous. :)

If you purchase the iTunes version (which I HIGHLY recommend), you'll be blessed with "I Trust You", which is my FAVORITE song on the CD. Very real and practical, the lyrics are focused around a failed marriage, and the trust that must remain in God in spite of the circumstances surrounding you. The chorus features Marvin L. Winans singing "I don't know what to do/But what I do know/Is I trust you". The vamp is my favorite part, however: "I trust you and I/I love you cuz you've/Proven yourself over and over again/Don't know just how many times/I needed a friend/You were standing right there in line". Once you hear it, you'll know why. That is repeated and modulated as it builds. Just gives me goosebumps!!

So, that's my review. Mary Mary's "The Sound"? TOTAL WIN.

Randomness

2008-11-17T11:40:00.004-05:00

I'm back! I can't tell you why it's taking me a week to blog over here, when my daily existence has been pretty much non-stop. I need to clear my thoughts, so here we go:

** Did anyone see Barack and Michelle on "60 Minutes" last night? They are the most adorable married couple!! They talked about the car he drove during law school, the one with the hole in the floor on the passenger side, and he remarked that she didn't marry him for his money. (cute!) He lamented about his inability to take a walk outside anymore, and said he'd love to take Michelle for a walk, to which she cutely replied, "It's too cold, I'm not walking anywhere with you!". I love them!

** I think it's exceptionally rude when you're exiting an elevator and the person/people waiting to get on don't wait for the elevator to empty first. The elevator ain't goin' nowhere as long as people are in it, dummy.

** My home inspection was this past Friday. It was almost perfect, save an electrical outlet with a non-operational bottom half. Not bad, if you ask me.

** "Saw V". Eh. Meh. Went to see it on Saturday. More of the same, summed up the story, but didn't pack the punch of "Saw". **SPOILER ALERT** When Jigsaw got up off the floor in "Saw", I almost eliminated on myself. That was the craziest thing I'd ever seen.**END SPOILER ALERT**

** I'm starving. My stomach is about to eat itself. And I've recently learned that my stomach doesn't agree with the cream stuffing of Oreo cookies, which is a pretty life-altering thing.

** I didn't know that housebreaking a dog would take this long. Today is Cha Cha's 7 month birthday and she's still having a piss festival on my kitchen floor. And occasionally on the carpet.

** My newest obsession: interior design. I'm trying to nail down the perfect colors for my new walls. I know I have plenty of time to do this, but waiting has never been my strong suit.

** I don't consider myself a fan of Beyonce. I don't own a single one of her CDs, nor any of Destiny's Child stuff. The only Beyonce songs I have on my iPod are "Crazy in Love" and "Listen" (from "Dreamgirls"). I dogged the "Single Ladies" video when I first saw it. But I'll be doggoned, that girl can perform. I have some weird no-homo fascination with her. I DVRed SNL this past weekend so I could watch her perform (and I'm glad I did; the "Dance Biscuits" sketch with her and Justin Timberlake made me laugh so loud that my dog ran in the room to see what was wrong with me). I watched her interview with Oprah last week, along with the performance. And whenever I hear "Single Ladies", it stays in my head for two days.

My New Townhouse!!!!

2008-11-10T08:30:00.003-05:00

At 29.5 years old, my dream has come true: I AM A HOMEOWNER!!! My offer was accepted Saturday, and the townhouse pictured above is mine. It was a dream that I thought wouldn't come true, but I've learned that once you get out of your own way and let God take control, anything is possible!!!

I spent the first half of church service in tears yesterday, thanking God for my mother's new job, Obama's election to the Office of President, and my new home. It was truly an amazing week, one that will stand out in my memory for a long, long time.

My closing date is set for December 19, 2008. Because I signed up to work on the 20th like a goofball, I will probably move in on December 21st. Depending upon getting a moving company.

After I sign the contract today and write the first of many checks, I will officially be in escrow.

AMAZING!

Offer Day

2008-11-07T08:25:00.002-05:00

I'm a spaz today. My agent submitted my offer for the townhouse last night. She spent all day writing up the offer and researching the property, and she learned that the home has been on the market for a year (!) and the current owners only owe $97,000 on their mortgage. As a result, we dropped my offer price by $10,000 -- considering they would make a profit, regardless. She came over last night to go over the offer, line by line, and had me sign it. In the offer, the closing date is set for December 19, 2008 and we gave them until tomorrow at 7pm to accept or counter. She faxed it over to the seller's agent when she got home last night.

I began to freak out on Tuesday, when the mortgage company emailed me a pre-approval letter and good faith estimate on the home (at full price). My eyes almost bugged out of my head looking at the monthly payment, until I spoke with my mother and she helped diffuse my anxiety by reminding me that a) I probably won't pay full price in a buyer's market b)interest rates can fluctuate dramatically c) and the monthly payment is very close to where I said I wanted to be (once you remove the HOA fees). Whoo-sahhh. Okay I was feeling better, so I told Monique to go ahead and move forward.

So, the offer is officially made! I have the phone next to me, in case we hear back today. I can barely focus. My stomach is in knots! But I'm excited!

I think I'm going to be sick.

(lol)

Pray for me, if that's something you do!

"Barack Obama Elected President"

2008-11-05T07:40:00.005-05:00

Once I get around to it, I'll post the picture I took of the television I was watching when those words popped up on screen. It's a moment I'll never forget. I was at my friend's house, watching the countdown ticker as the polls prepared to close in California, Oregon, Washington and Hawaii. I figured they'd immediately add some additional electoral votes to Obama's count, as they did as soon as Pennsylvania's polls close. Instead, those four words appeared on the big screen behind Wolf Blitzer and I went BALLISTIC. (I believe I was the first one in the room to see it -- or at least, react.)

In my head, I have the words of Sam Cooke: "It's been a long/long time comin'/but I know a change is gonna come/Oh yes it is"

And it has.

I hear the words of the congregation singing at Ebenezer Baptist in Atlanta last night: "Deep In my heart/I do believe/We Shall Overcome some day"

Although the country isn't perfect, it's hard not to believe that we have.

I hear the words from a song from one of my favorite movies, "The Wiz": "Everybody look around/'cuz there's a reason to rejoice, you see/Everybody come out/And Commence to singing joyfully/Everybody look up/And feel the hope that we've been waiting for/Everybody's glad/Because our silent fear and dread is gone/ Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully/Just look about/You owe it to yourself to check it out/Can't you feel a brand new day?"

Indeed it is.

Let us keep President-Elect Barack Obama in our prayers.

So, I'm buying my first home....

2008-11-04T08:13:00.004-05:00

I broke down and got lazy. Below, my chronicle of this homebuying process from my Xanga blog. It's not over yet.....

October 27, 2008 - "So It Begins"
I finally took the plunge and scheduled a meeting with a mortgage lender. I wanted a clear picture of how much house I can afford at my present salary. It will also help me see if I'm actually ready to be a homeowner or not. Psychologically, I am. Financially...well, I don't know that I've been as diligent with my money as necessary. It's gotten better lately, but I haven't saved up much of a downpayment. So, we'll see.

October 29, 2008 - "Can I Borrow a Few Thousand Dollars?"
This was my lunch meeting with the home loan specialist at Washington Mutual/Chase, Sylvia. I was excited all morning for the meeting, had all of my paperwork, W-2s and paystubs in tow and ready to give to the lady. I was feeling good. Got to the bank, met Sylvia (who is super nice, btw) and got down to it. She told me that due to the recent happenings on Wall Street and the like, banks are no longer accepting anything less than a 10% downpayment. I'm not gonna put ALL my business out there, but in sum, she said that they could offer me a craptastic loan and that I would need a HUGETASTIC downpayment before they'd even consider giving me THAT. This would mean getting a gift from my parents and coming up with the rest myself. She told me that they don't work with any first-time homeowner's programs, (i.e. FHA), so it's 10% or nothing.

Needless to say, I walked out of the bank feeling discouraged. I did the math, and there is no way I could save that much money in a reasonable amount of time. There's no way my family can "gift" me with that much -- and besides, 50% of that downpayment would have to be from my own funds. I called my mom and lamented that I'd be renting for the rest of my life. We discussed my options, which weren't many. I was frustrated, because in an idealistic world, I would've been saving that sum of money since I finished school. However, due to my retardedness in undergrad, I had botched up credit that I've worked VERY hard to fix. And now that I have GOOD credit, I don't have the savings to allow me to get the home I want? I was SO frustrated. I told my mom that my only option was to hit the lottery.

Discouraged, but never defeated, I went back to work and told my co-worker the situation. She immediately gave me the number to her mortgage broker, Jane, who has worked with her on obtaining her two homes. I gave Jane a call and liked her immediately! Over the phone, we went over what just happened at WaMu and I shared with her my difficulties with obtaining the downpayment. She said, "the 3%, you mean?". I said, "they told me TEN!". Jane quickly reassured me that she works with FHA and other programs to reduce the downpayment and get folks into a home. We went over my credit scores, which I conveniently printed off last week, and she told me that due to my good credit and income, she could easily get me a loan that would get me into a nice home. I still need a downpayment, however, which I'll have to conjur up some sort of way. She informed me about the $7500 first-time homebuyers' tax credit, which I can use to repay a "gifted" down-payment, so all I have to do is see who is willing to lend me a few thousand bucks. I had a meeting scheduled with Jane for later that day.

THEN my mom called and told me that she's practically been offered the job in Virginia Beach! (YAY!!!!!) After talking about that for awhile, I told her that I have another mortgage meeting today. My mom told me that if ALL else fails, she'll loan me the money for the downpayment!
Etoshobasha!!!!*running around the room*
*falling to the floor*
THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!

October 31, 2008 - "Never Give Up!"
My meeting with my second prospective lender, Jane Floyd was on thr 29th. Found the building with no problem and went inside. To the left was a markerboard that said "Welcome Carla B". Really??

I liked this place already.

The receptionist offered me something to drink - I opted for a Coca-Cola - and Jane came out to meet me. This woman was tiny. Like 5'2". I liked her immediately. We went back to her office -- she owns the firm, btw -- and shot the breeze for a minute. As she was out of the office to get some paperwork, I turned around and checked out the back wall. All over were photos of churches that she had helped finance/plant all over the world: Kenya, Vietnam, Pakistan, etc. I was impressed! She returned and we talked about that for a minute. And inside, I thanked God that this woman was a Christian!

We got to talking about my current situation and what it is that I want. She had pulled the listings that I emailed to her, and went through the task of going through the numbers for me. She had good faith estimates on three properties that I had sent her, and three very different price points. This was just to show me how the dollars break down, what affects costs, etc. She answered every single one of my questions, no matter how dumb, and walked me through the process. Told me I was DEFINITELY pre-approved, all I have to do now is go out, find a place, and send her the info! How exciting!!!

I called my agent Monique IMMEDIATELY and told her the good news. She sent me some property listings that night. That night, we had plans to go visit some of the homes. My parents are also aware of what's going on - mentioned it to my dad, along with the $7500 tax credit I'll receive next year, so maybe he'll be willing to contribute to the Down-Payment charity fund. (BTW: all down payment assistance programs have been suspended until further notice. Bummer!)

November 3/4, 2008 - "House Hunter!"
This is all happening VERY fast.

I watch "House Hunters" on HGTV obsessively, along with "My First Place"/"My First Home" and "Property Virgins". That is nothing new. What's funny is, now I feel like I'm on one of those shows, since Monique started showing me properties.

Friday I ran out of work at 3:45 so that I could get home, change, pick up Cha Cha and get to Monique's condo. I made it there by 5, which was cool because we had an appointment to view the first property at 5:30. She also pointed out another property that she thought I might like, but we'd check that one out on Sunday. After sitting in 6 years of traffic, we made it to Westchase and the first condo. It was nice, spacious, but my main concerns were that the floor plan wasn't very open (kitchen and family room were far apart and separated by stairs), there weren't walk-in closets, and there was a set of train tracks not even 100 yards from the front door of the place. The price was right, and the townhouse was in walking distance from super-cute West Park Village, but those train tracks killed it for me.

Second place was around the corner and was a disaster. No balcony/patio, which is a must, and it smelled. The people hadn't even completely moved out, so there was food in the pantry, pests, etc. It was NASTY. We got out of there ASAP, but the burn of the stink stayed in my nostrils for another hour! Looked at two other places, the second was pretty nice and had an AMAZING master suite.It needed a little work, but nothing too major. I told Mo to keep that one on the list.

Sunday after Pastor's Appreciation service (it was themed after the Olympics: super FUN!) , we went to visit the next set of townhomes. These places were faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic!! Everything I was looking for, minus great location. Not that they're in the hood; just further east than I wanted to go. It's still a short commute to work, which is nice. They were also a little pricier than I wanted, but there are two units that are on sale for much cheaper. We went back last night to look at them those.

The first unit was the floor plan that I prefer, with three upstairs bedrooms and an open kitchen. The place was vacant, and the previous owners had painted the walls an interesting mix of orange and green. The walls weren't ugly actually, but the paint job was shoddy. The cons were that the washer/dryer weren't included, no closing costs were being offered and the property is a short sale.

The second unit was the OTHER floor plan, with a ground floor master bedroom and eat-in kitchen. The owners were home unexpectedly, which was awwwwkward! But they were gracious enough to let us come in and look around. I immediately loved this place. The eat-in kitchen was great, there were hardwood floor in the living room, the lanai was screened and HUGE, and the owners said that they will include their two flat screen tvs and surround sound in with the sale. AND they're paying 3% closing costs. So....what else is there to discuss? I told Monique that I'm pretty much ready to make an offer. I just want to confer with the parental units first, for any last minute advice.

Let the games begin!

Absent

2008-10-31T15:13:00.003-04:00

I realize I haven't been writing as much as I used to, without much cause. I've begun this massive project, just this week, of becoming a new homeowner. First time. It's consuming most of my time and thoughts, even here at work. I've been writing pretty thorough blogs over on Xanga about the process, and although I think it's lazy to copy/paste those blogs over here, I think that a chronicle of my ups/downs/in-betweens while buying a new home could be beneficial to anyone who plans to do the same. But, I dunno. Right now I have a headache, so I don't feel like writing much of anything. This is as much as I think I'll do today. lol. I also have CD reviews to write: I'm buying music faster than I can listen to it. What I can say though: Mary Mary's latest is FIRE. It's so far out of the "gospel" box that you'll look twice at your iPod once it plays - just making sure you are actually listening to the right CD!

Anyway, after work I'm being shown my first prospective homes. *fingers crossed*

Told You...

2008-10-28T14:06:00.002-04:00

Six players on the Cleveland Browns have been infected with staph. Told you.

Cursed.

The Curse....

2008-10-23T09:21:00.004-04:00

Currently, the Tampa Bay Rays are in the World Series. They lost Game One last night to the Philadelphia Phillies, 3-2 and Game Two is tonight. (BTW: Philadelphia Phillies? Where is the creativity in naming these teams?) I didn't stay up to watch the game last night. I caught the first three innings, but I'm sorry, watching baseball is like watching paint dry. Give me the 8th and 9th inning, please. Anyway, I had a feeling the Rays weren't going to win anyway, so I went to bed. Sleep is my BFF.

In addition, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are tied with the Carolina Panthers atop the NFC South. The Super Bowl comes to Tampa Bay during the first weekend of February, and die hard Bucs fans expect to be the "Home Team" at the Super Bowl.

It's exciting. But I don't get excited.

Why?

I'm from Cleveland. The home of "almost, but not quite". It's a city full of teams that, as D.O. put it in his blog, are "scared of success".

Consider it. The Cleveland Cavaliers brought new life to the city when they acquired LeBron James. We made it to the NBA Finals for the first time EVER in 2007. And got swept by the San Antonio Spurs. Lost our 2008 playoff bid to the Celtics, who went on to win it all.

The Cleveland Indians. Remember "Major League"? That was the team until 1995, when the city was ignited by the Indians winning the ALCS and making their first trip to the World Series since 1954. Lost to the Braves in 6 games. 1997 saw another return to the World Series, only to lose to the Florida Marlins in 11 innings, after blowing a lead going into the 9th inning. We lost to fish.

The Cleveland Browns. OMG. The team that disappeared from Cleveland overnight. The team that was devestated by Elway and "The Drive" in the 1986 AFC Championship game. The team that is now regularly rattled with injuries. THOSE Cleveland Browns. I need not say more.

I'd be remiss not to mention the coming and going of other sports franchises such as the Cleveland Lumberjacks, the Cleveland Barons (both hockey), and Cleveland Force, the Cleveland Crunch (soccer) and the current present hockey team, the Lake Erie Monsters. (might I add, the final two teams have the worst names EVER.)

I say all this to say: right now, Tampa Bay is seeing success. Hopefully, things will work in favor of both the Rays and the Bucs and they will "seal the deal". I've never lived in a city with a championship-winning team, except when I lived in Ann Arbor and the Pistons won the NBA Championship. Should the Rays and/or Bucs "blow it", I'll be convinced that the Cleveland Curse has followed me from Ohio, instilling the fear of success into the local sports franchises.

Follow-Up

2008-10-20T10:18:00.004-04:00

So, after being hot like fire on Saturday night, I eventually calmed down. I thank this blog and my girl Ashley on Yahoo IM for talking me out of fury. lol. I spoke with the offender this morning; she called to ask me a work question. She apologized for Saturday night, explaining that one of the "crew" "forced" her to go out and she didn't initiate it. I calmly explained how her actions - or, inaction - left several of us feeling angry and excluded (at least two of us, cuz the girl I went out with last night was also supposed to go). I had nothing else to say. She continued to explain, I didn't reply because I wasn't trying to cause an argument. She knows how I feel. Issue closed.

Last night I attended my first-ever NFL game. The Buccaneers played the Seahawks. We scored tickets from my co-worker, whose husband has season tix. One of the girls from work, a 40-something-recently-separated-about-to-get-divorced-new-Tampa-resident, had asked me last week if I was into football. She's looking for someone to attend games with, and I was down for the cause. So when the tickets became available, we were all over it. Even though the game was at 8:15pm. After putzing around Tampa all day with Cha Cha (and consuming some schlammin' jambalaya, courtesy of my auntie), I met Brenda at her house in South Tampa. Yo dude, that's where the well-off folks live. We rode over to her sister's house, literally down the street, as her husband was going to drop us off at the stadium and save us a parking charge (good lookin' out!). Their house was ridiculous. A Mediterranean style home with gigantic doors, and the inside had an open floor plan, with tiled floors and a huge kitchen with your standard stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. I was blown away.

Anyway, we went to the game and had fun. I wish I had an exciting story to go with this (lol). The seats were in section 300, row B, right on the 50 yard line. We were in the sky, but had a great view. It's funny sitting with season ticket holders; they all know each other and are sooooooooooo serious about everything. But, they were cool. Somehow we got seated right behind two Seahawks fans, and although they didn't have much to cheer about, when they did, the chick would get up and start screaming and get glared at by everyone else in our section. However, they spent most of their time shaking their heads. There was a scary moment in the second quarter, when receiver Ike Hilliard was railed by two Seahawks defenders and was out cold for about 2 minutes. I almost started crying when he got up and walked himself to the cart, considering EMS and the backboard were already out on the field. What a relief, I hate to see that stuff. Then, those Seattle jerks challenged the call and Hilliard was charged with a fumble.

There was some random older lady in our section talking to all of the security guards and cameramen. A definite Botox and collagen consumer, this lady was bleach blonde, had huge boobs and was wearing stilettos. At a football game. Brenda and I were trying to figure her out. I don't know why she was trying to schmooze the guards...perhaps to meet a player? But, why in section 300? She was ridiculous.

This was my first time hanging out with Brenda -- she's definitely cool and we had some laughs. I don't know that she'll be a BFF type, but she's cool. I got real sleepy around the third quarter, (dude, it was like 10pm), so I got quiet. She is all about trying to kick it, already asking me what I'm doing this upcoming weekend. I have plans on Saturday...more co-worker stuff, hopefully this one won't cancel on me like the last...but I'm sure I'll hang with her more in the future.

Back to work I go.

A Matter of Principle

2008-10-18T23:23:00.002-04:00

I'm home on Saturday night. But not by my doing. And I'm pissed about it, so I'm here to vent.

Back in July, I made a conscious decision to give the Tampa nightlife a rest for a minute. I told my friends - coworkers/party animals - that I've never been one to go out EVERY weekend and I needed to slow down. I haven't gone clubbing or bar-hopping with them since. In the meantime, they've all grown extremely closer and have formed this "Charlie and the Angels" clique. I mean, it's fine that I'm not an "angel". I'd probably be known as "Conservative Angel" anyway.

But I digress. The "gangleader" of sorts/aka Event Planner recently had a birthday. She went out of town for her actual birthday, so told me several weeks ago that tonight we'd be going out to celebrate. She said that she is finally growing tired of clubbing, and wanted to initially go to the Clearwater Jazz Festival. I was like "chia, that's more like it!". That changed to a jazz lounge shortly thereafter, which was cool too. Then, earlier this week, it changed yet again to dinner in Ybor City and plans to-be-determined. (The Rays game is tonight, so they wanted to go somewhere to watch it). I pouted a little, but I said I'd be willing to hang no matter what. My weekend was nicely planned.

So, earlier today I got a text from "Gangleader" stating that she hadn't heard from her current love interest, was in a funk, and was therefore cancelling dinner. Cancelling a bday celebration over a ni99a? Really? Okay. I replied and told her that I hoped she felt better soon. And I decided to make it a Blockbuster night instead of finding an alternate plan. The first meeting of my new book club was at 7pm, but since I hadn't even PURCHASED the book, I held to my previous RSVP of "no, sorry I can't make it, prior commitment". So I've been home watching a million movies and going heads up with this puppy -- who is pooping out her food every hour, on the hour. I was so frustrated that I brought out my glass and this berry mojito mix I had in the fridge. Yes, my dog drove me to alcohol. So, I was gulping that and starting to feel good, when by happenstance I checked MySpace. And, Gangleader's MySpace status had been changed to:

"I am going to Ybor tonight to hang out with the fam for my birthday!"

I immediately texted this broad and said "saw your myspace status. I thought everything was cancelled. Y'all went out anyway"?

Her: "Ya we at karaoke I needed to be out"

Me: "U must've forgot to tell me. I was planning to kick it with yall tonight"

Her: "Come through it was a last min thing my bad I was in a funk"

(at this point I'm fuming, because clearly her funk didn't prevent her from calling/texting the remainder of the "crew" to tell them PARTY ON!)

Me: "I'm good. It's too late, I'm settled. Have fun" (that's so my personality -- passive-aggressive like a mug)

Her: "my bad we'll do it again soon"

(mind you she said that last time they went to karaoke and they didn't call me)

I'm so done. Although I'm bored stiff and NEEDED a few hours away from this puppy, I'll be dammmmmmed if I get up, shower and dress at 11pm because I was a friggin' AFTERTHOUGHT. Nigga please! If you WANTED me there, you would've included me in the text flurry you initiated once you decided to go out. Don't invite me out once I call you on your glaring omission. And don't think for a minute that I'm going to drop everything and come out the next time you are gracious enough to extend me an invitation. WTFever dude.

Whooosahhhhh.

Time for another glass of the berry yumminess.

New Music: Marvin Winans Jr, "Image of a Man"

2008-10-16T17:29:00.008-04:00

Over the past several weeks I have purchased and downloaded a crapload of music. Tosha has a nice feature on her blog where she reviews some of her recent purchases. Sorry for being a "biter", but I think I'll do the same! I have bought the latest CDs by Ne-Yo (which Tosha reviewed nicely), Robin Thicke, and Deitrick Haddon and copped the debut CDs by Jennifer Hudson and Jazmine Sullivan. However, I haven't listened to nan one of them (except Ne-Yo), because I've had Marvin Winan Jr's debut CD, "Image of a Man", permanently stuck in my CD player. I was looking online for a review of the album, to see if other folks are as stuck on it as I am, and was shocked to find nothing -- although it premiered #10 on the Billboard Gospel Charts (not so bad for the first CD released on a new independent label!) So, I felt the need to review this one first...eventually I'll listen to the others and do the same. (lol)

Marvin Winans Jr, "Image of a Man"
Released Sept. 30, 2008 on M2 Entertainment

Anxiously anticipated for several years now by many fans, "Image of a Man" does not disappoint. An inspirational CD with strong crossover potential, Winans aims to reach not only the gospel audience, but attract those who may not necessarily be into traditional "gospel" music. A variety of innovative sounds, thanks to the contributions of powerhouse producers such as Rodney Jerkins, Fred Jerkins and Warryn Campbell in addition to newcomers David Garcia, Josiah Bell and Josiah Winans, places this CD faaaar outside of the "gospel music" box. Expect major crossover success once the music reaches the ears of the masses.

Track-by-Track Recap (linked to sample tracks)

1) "Image of a Man" (1 on iTunes, #14 on store-bought CD)
Written by Marvin Winans Jr (MWj) and Joe "Flip" Wilson
Produced by Joe "Flip" Wilson

What first grabbed me about this song is the handclaps. Odd, right? I was jammin'. (lol) Winans' voiceover over the progressive addition of musical elements ("This is who I am") leads to the opening of the song, in which he proclaims that who he is really HAS no explanation. Our existence is part of a greater plan and hopefully, folks will get with the program.

This is the Image of a Man/ I hope you understand/This is not my plan/I'm just the image of a man

2) "You Never Let Me Down"
Written by Rodney Jerkins and MWj
Produced by Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins

This is the lead single from the CD, with a highly anticipated accompanying video soon to be released. Caribbean-influenced beats make this a song you can ride to! The song could have many meanings, as it's a declaration of gratitude. Who has never let you down? God? Your spouse? Your best friend?

When I'm lost and there's no other way/I know you'll be there just to light up the day/You Never Let Me Down

3) "It's Been So Long"
Written by MWj and David Garcia
Produced by David Garcia and MWj

You know what got me first with this song? Its groove!! This is not mom & pop's music y'all -- it's the reason why the album is so difficult to classify as "gospel". But the message stands strong; it's plea to God for reacceptance after straying away and realizing that life is nothing without God. Oh, and it's my jam. (lol)

Now how can I live without 'cha?/Cuz I'm only alive when I'm with ya/It's cold out here on my own/Without of the warmth of your love inside

4) "Feel It All"
Written by MWj
Produced by MWj and Josiah Bell

Have you ever gone through something and looked for those closest to you, only to find that they're not there? That's what this song is about; encouraging those closest to you. You never know what someone might be going through. Sometimes you have to reach out and let your people know that you're feeling their pain. Winans and Bell combine to create a nice mid-tempo R&B groove.

How can you expect anyone for anyone to care/For your situations when you don't care for theirs?/You might run into a problem where you need a friend/Reach back and the hand you need isn't there

5) "Put Your Love on Me"
Written by MWj and David Garcia
Produced by David Garcia and MWj.

As I understand it, this was to be the original lead single for the CD. I've seen some feedback on Marvin's MySpace page by some fans who state that it should've been. Either way, this might be the next one. It's a track that bumps. Winans talks about the disappointments that often come at the hands of others, and pleads for God to touch him in his time of hurt.

Where would I be if I didn't know you loved me?/Put Your Love on Me/Put Your Love on Me/How could I live without your love around me?

6) "Steps to a Man"
Written and Produced by MWj

I'm beginning to think that this is my favorite song on the CD. Never did I expect to hear a rock ballad on this joint. (lol) When I first heard it, I was like 'man that's a nice song'. But when I actually listened to it, the lyrics grabbed me. It's deeply personal, and although I am a woman and know nothing about being a man, the second verse was pretty much a page out of my life. And dude, I had no idea that Marvin had that crazy range. Dude.

How could the lights begin to fade on a love that was so true?/Or maybe untrue?/I can't fathom how it all began and ended as fast/Why couldn't it last?

7) "Come 2 Me"
Written by MWj and Warryn Campbell
Produced by Warryn "Baby Dubb" Campbell

One of the early "releases" from this CD, "Come 2 Me" is a plea from God for all of us to turn to Him during our time of pain. It has a smooth R&B sound that is guaranteed to have to bobbing your head.

Life may pull you low/But I'm on high/You can do so much better now/Heaven is my home/But I should live inside your heart

8) "U Know Love"
Written by Noel Fisher and MWj
Produced by Noel "Detail" Fisher

This song's bassline is crazy. That's the first thing you'll notice: your rearview mirror rattling. (lol) Winans speaks to the ladies here; those who rely on material things and attention from men to find fulfillment. He states that love is more than this; love is more than a temporary feeling, and admonishes ladies in this situation to hold out for the real thing!

She's gotta have Dolce & Gabbana/Louis, Gucci and Prada/Spending all that she got/So the fellas can say that like everything they see/Cuz everybody likes fantasies/They wanna dream a little dream/But it's never what it seems

9) "Believe"
Written by Fred Jerkins, Lashawn Daniels and MWj
Produced by Fred "Uncle Freddie" Jerkins

The title speaks for itself! lol. Simply put, believe that God will do what you ask Him to! Just believe! Another uptempo jam from Fred Jerkins! (I bet you find yourself "car dancing" at the break...lol)

Belieeeeeeeeve/I'll do it!

10) "Mistakes"
Written and Produced by MWj

Beautifully simple, with Winans singing at the piano, this song is an apology for shortcomings. Hello, we've all jacked up one way or another, so we can all relate! It's a plea for God to come in a clean up yet another mess. Absolutely gorgeous song.

Who can shield me from dismay if you don't?/Who can kiss the pain away if you won't?/I need love/I need love in the hardest way/Like the Romans say/My mistakes weren't build in a day

11) "Push Pull (It's Alright)"
Written by MWj and David Garcia
Produced by David Garcia and MWj

Now, we've all been there. Someone has pushed you to the point of nuttin' up. In this mid-tempo song, Winans encourages us out here to take a minute and walk away before you say something crazy. Folk will push you to that point -- grab the door and push/pull your way outta there! :-P

Push Pull/I know what you're going through/If they don't get you that's okay/I know you feel they gotta pay/Go and walk out that door/You wanna just let it show/If you can't find the words to say/Then let it go and know it's alright

12) "A Single Rose"
Written and Produced by MWj

This is a beautiful love song to Jesus, a song of gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice. Winans is joined by David May on acoustic guitar.

And I care about the time you spent on the cross/Looking down on a world that was so lost/Trying to decide if it was worth the pain/Just to let every man and woman live again

13) "Let It Out"
Written and Produced my MWj

Relationships. They come and go; question is, how do you cope when they end? In some cases, people have difficulty moving on. In this song, Winans encourages us to release that pain, not to let it eat away at you. He cites people who have killed/commited suicide to escape the pain. There's a better solution!!

Let It Out/Yes You Can//You'll Start Anew, just/Let it out/As you cry/You can try to/Go ahead and pray/If you never have you can start today/Yes I know things might be hard for you/But please don't hold it, control it, you know you should let it out

14) "Believe ('Baby Brotha' Remix)"
Remix by Josiah "Baby Brotha" Winans

MWj lets his younger brother take the reins on this remix to "Believe", and the younger bro handles himself nicely! If this were back in the day, I'd probably call this a "skate mix"! Baby Brotha brings in the synthesizers and ramps the song up a notch, guaranteed to make you dance!! :)

Next up: whatever I eventually listen to next. I've got a long list of music...probably no more track-by-track reviews tho. That took forEVER.

VOTE OR DIE!!!

2008-10-16T10:02:00.002-04:00

With foolishness like this, a vote for Obama is almost a necessity. Click the picture for a better view of "a mature and racially tolerant America".

Supposedly taken in Florida. I'm so proud.

Random Thought Post

2008-10-14T15:13:00.005-04:00

It's been a while since I actually remained loyal to the purpose of this blog. Let the drain begin:

****

I don't know, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but why do people wait until they actually get sick to worry about their health insurance? It amazes me, the number of people who ask to see the social worker once hospitalized, and ask about getting hooked up with Medicaid. And, of course, I can't help them get it. I direct them back to the Department of Children and Family services because that's all I can do. I want people to be more proactive, especially when children are involved. Don't wait until the day you get discharged from the hospital and ask "oh, so what about health insurance?" Preventative care can help you avoid these hospital visits to begin with. [/end PSA]

****

I've finally decided to go ahead and apply for my Florida licensure. I know, I'm a bum. I've worked here over a year and am just getting around to this. Part of the process is the completely annoying task of pulling my college transcript and printing out the corresponding course descriptions from my graduate program. Going through my transcript made me extremely nostalgic. My college days were good. Perfect, no. But enjoyable. My classes were interesting, and although I experienced my fair share of stress during those days, nothing compares to the stuff I deal with now. There was more to do, more spontenaity, more MEN to choose from (hello!), and a quality of life that you never see again. I didn't get involved in a lot of mess during college - I was a "good girl" - but I had fun nonetheless. There is so much I would've done differently, so many things I'd keep the same, some decisions I would've reversed, and I probably would've traveled abroad for a semester. If only I had a time machine....

****

I called my mother on Saturday night to see how her interview went in Virginia, and she sounded real choked up. I asked what she was doing, and she told me that she just finished blubbering through the season premiere of "CSI:". I had taped it, but put off watching it because I knew it would be brutal. I finally watched it last night. I won't go into details for those who may follow or may be waiting to watch it on their DVRs also, but I SOBBED through the entire episode. Oh Gawd. I cried so hard that I had a headache afterwards. I had to go to bed! I felt kinda stupid crying over a tv character like that...you just never know how some things will affect you!

****

These election ads are making me nuckin' futs. If I see the "Obama's Blind Ambition" ad one more time (I promise, they show it every 15 minutes). Everytime I see Sarah Palin on tv and hear her speak, I throw up a little in my mouth. I can't wait for all of this to be over. I'm ready for our new president....President Obama :)

****

So. Suze Orman was on Oprah yesterday (?) and, as usual, was yelling at people about their financial decisions. Don't get me wrong, I love Suze, but everytime I get serious about buying a home she scares me out of it. She was talking to a young lady in a very similar financial situation as me, who was looking for her first home at the same price point that I'm considering, and Suze told her that she can't afford it. *facepalm* Sadly, the girl on tv had more money saved than I currently do, which is all the more depressing. It's scaring me out of something that is already kinda scary -- but I NEED to do this. I NEED to buy a home!

****

Today my stepmother turns 50 years old. I love the internet. In my broken mind, her birthday is 10/16, not 10/14. I realized this on yesterday, so I hurried up and ordered some flowers, which have already been delivered. *sigh* I'm glad, she'll be surprised when she gets home. :)

****

My girlfriends and I are planning to cruise Royal Caribbean's "Oasis of the Seas" -- in 2010. I know it's a loooong way away, but the ship doesn't have its maiden voyage until next December, and cabins are already selling out well into 2010. The travel agent gave us a tentative sail date of October 30, and is going to hold a block of cabins for us. The organizer is going to put together a flyer, which I will forward to all interested parties. Now, here's the tricky thing - as you know, 2010 is two years away. A LOT can change in two years. My girl and I were both laughing about this today. It's very difficult to make cabin assignments when most of us happily anticipate being married or at least seriously dating someone in October 2010. Looks like many of the women going - sad to say - are reserving cabins in their own name, hoping to add that companion later on. And, if it doesn't happen, will then find a girl to room with. Cabin assignments aren't hard to change. It's just a funny reality as we try to plan this trip -- and we both agree that we'll be SALTY if our roommate is a female chick.

The Weekend

2008-10-13T10:05:00.003-04:00

Okay, since Miss TOSHA fussed me out on Facebook (lol), I GUESS I'll log an entry as a follow-up to my prior post. But I have something more pressing to discuss first.

Like...

WHAT THE KCUF IS WRONG WITH THE MICHIGAN WOLVERINES?!?! We lost to TOLEDO on Saturday. TOLEDO. This season has gone to hell faster than OJ Simpson in gasoline draws. My boys in blue, once a football powerhouse among not only the Big Ten, but throughout the NCAA, now have us wondering if we'll even see a bowl game come December/January. My friend is flying to Michigan from LA for a game next month (versus Northwestern), and is afraid that we'll end up with another hash mark in the "L" column. WTF! I don't know this team. I'll still support them, still rock my maize and blue, but I have ZERO trash to talk when time comes for the almighty matchup with Ohio State. *facepalm*

Ok, so onto the blind date that I was anxious about when I wrote the last post. We met up at the local Bahama Breeze restaurant on Friday night. He told me what he'd be wearing, so I spotted him immediately. I really didn't want to be there, by the way. I'm so not into this type of thing. Anyway, my co-worker exaggerated a little when she said he doesn't look "anything close to 47". To me, he totally did. How do I describe him -- tall, regular build, mustache, thinning brown hair, crooked smile. He's a nice guy, but I felt no attraction whatsoever. First thing he said was "I already knew what you'd look like." I looked at him like he had 5 heads, and he admitted that he tracked me down on MySpace and saw my page. (sorry, but that was weird to me). I asked how that was possible, as my page is privatized, and he said that he punched in my first and last name and just saw my profile pic. Oh, okay. But still...:-/. Conversation was unremarkable. Like I said, nice guy, no attraction. It's clear he has money -- he mentioned that he owns several rental properties in Tampa, works from home, and flossed a $100 bill to pay for our appetizers and drinks, but money isn't enough for me. I think we could be cool, but I have no romantic interest.

So, the date wasn't as horrible as my Facebook status made it seem, I'm just over the "blind" introductions. I'd rather meet someone the way I always have -- in person. OR, if I'm gonna be set up, let it be by someone who knows me and what makes me tick. Less uncomfortable dinner meetings will occur that way.

Personal Preference

2008-10-10T10:16:00.002-04:00

**breaking my own rules again**

So I have a blind date tonight. I don't fare well on blind dates. (that's another post). Basically, my co-worker approached me a couple weeks ago and told me that there's this guy she knows and wants us to meet. *le sigh* In an effort to remain open-minded, I told her that she could give him my number, after getting some preliminary information about him. First red flag: she asked my age and when I told her "29", she was like - "oh good, he likes 'em young". I was like "how the hayle old IS he?". "47..but he doesn't look it or act it at ALL". *blank stare*. Do you know that my stepmother will be 50 next week?? I'm just sayin'. Too old.

I had completely forgotten about this until yesterday, when the guy called. He would like to meet up today for a drink, that way we can see if there's anything there or not. I have a feeling I already won't be interested. Why, do you ask?

Age, for one, but this is where it gets sticky. It's clear that he is a white man. I've never dated white men, never particularly had interest in doing so. I love, appreciate and am attracted to black men sooooo much that I've never been led to give up on them (tempted, yes..lol). Even in spite of the shady stuff they've done to me. My good friend just married an Italian man and encouraged me to stay open-minded about other races, but I still don't think I'm there yet. Unless this man looks like George Clooney or Matthew McConaughey (who, by the way, has a very hard name to spell), I probably won't go for it. I agreed to meet him and see how it goes, but I'm walking in with my mind already made up. I feel like Sanaa Lathan in the beginning of "Something New", when she meets the guy for the first time at Starbucks and is like 'hecks naw'.

So what is a delicate way to approach this issue, next time someone tries to set me up? My co-worker, who is white or Latina (I'm not sure), never asked me if I'm into white guys. I felt it would've been politically incorrect to ask her of his race/ethnicity, but why waste this guy's time if I'm not interested? And do I say anything to him at ALL about it??

Ray Ray 'nem & Carnival uglyness

2008-10-09T09:33:00.002-04:00

First up: Bridgette and Maya give their impression of Carnival's decor in the main dining room

Next: One of "'nem" with Ray-Ray's group offers her rendition of "And I Am Telling You". Please note: her girl wore the same shirt as she, only with no pants. Also note my friends' reaction to the singing.

Cruise in Review

2008-10-08T10:02:00.007-04:00

Although it would be easier to copy & paste my recap from Xanga over here, I prefer to write another cruise review instead. I did a play-by-play recap over there, but this post will be more critical. After taking two cruises in one year on two different cruise lines, and two VERY different ships, a compare/contrast & partial photoblog would be more fun to me.

June 1, 2008 - June 8, 2008
Royal Caribbean's Freedom of the Seas
Miami, FL to San Juan, PR, St. Thomas USVI and St. Maarten

When it set sail in 2006, it was the largest cruise ship in the world at 160,000 tons. The thing can hold 3,600+ passengers, is 1,111 ft long, has 15 decks, a Ben & Jerry's, Johnny Rockets and two additional restaurants in addition to the main dining room and buffet grill. The Royal Promenade stretches through the middle of the ship like a city street, lined with bars, shops and restaurants. The decor - gorgeous. There is an ice skating rink and Flowrider surfing simulator, along with a rock climbing wall. And let's not forget my favorite part of the cruise: cruise director Richard Spacey, who had me even looking forward to the morning announcement just so I could hear what funny thing he'd say next. The rest of the staff was amazing, from our room steward Desmond, to our waitress Marvalyn, to the beverage waiter Junior, to the rest of the entertainment staff. The production shows were excellent, comedians funny, and there was always Richard. Freedom did have an unfair advantage, because it was a 7 day cruise, but still. Our stateroom had a large balcony, with a retractable divider between the one next to us, allowing us to connect our balcony with William and Rhonda's. The only issues I had with the cruise was the late karaoke times and the fact that my mom and her friends were early birds, leaving me alone on the ship most of the time.

Some other pics from the Freedom:

The fantastic Royal Promenade

The stage between the sports pool and main pool on Deck 11

Me and Richard Spacey, our amazing cruise director

The Arcadia Theater

So, that was my first Royal Caribbean experience. I told myself that I was an RC convert after that cruise. But I had this one yet to complete:

October 2 - October 6, 2008

Carnival Inspiration

Tampa, FL to Cozumel, Mexico

The Carnival Inspiration had its maiden voyage in 1996. The ship is 70,367 tons, is 855 ft long, and has a passenger capacity of 2,052. There are 10 decks. From land, any cruise ship will look large. Although the Freedom took my breath away, I was still able to appreciate the size of the Inspiration. My first Carnival cruise was on the Ecstasy, which I don't even think sails anymore and my second was on the Carnival Pride, which was pretty large. Since the RC cruise was so fresh in my mind, however, that was my point of comparison. So, bullet-by-bullet, here were the differences:

Check-in: On RC, the check-in process - even for a regular stateroom - was swift and effective inside the terminal. Both cruise lines offered online check-in, but in the Carnival terminal, if you weren't VIP, you had to stand in a massive line that moved at a snail's pace. Thank the LORD we were VIPs.

Aesthetics: You saw the Royal Promenade above, right? The Inspiration's grand atrium paled in comparison, and the decor was....well...take a look:

The People: So, this is where I'll sound super-bougie. But the people on the Carnival ship were GHETTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOO. You could TELL that this cruise was on sale, because Ray-Ray 'nem were out in full force. And folks weren't particularly friendly either. I don't know if it was because it was this side of the country or what, because I don't remember the Carnival Pride, which left out of LA, being that bad. Lil' Wayne lookalikes and burnt orange lobster people everywhere. The whole feel of the ship was drastically different than the Freedom. I saw fingerwaves and matching lime green outfits and booty claps in the dance club. *smh*

Food: Perhaps this is TMI, but although the food was good on the Carnival cruise, we all spent the entire cruise constipated. All nine of us. Seriously. We weren't eating a lot of foolishness. Something just wasn't right.

Production Shows: Royal Caribbean offered an amazing magician, three elaborate musical productions, the uber-hilarious "Love and Marriage" gameshow, and Richard Spacey at each one. Carnival gave us "Shout", an erratic musical revue with no real theme (how "Macarena" and "Joyful, Joyful" fit into the same show, I'll never know). They also offered "Fiesta Latina" aka "Latin Confusion" ("Day-O"? Really?). The cruise director was Risa, and wasn't very engaging and not really funny. We caught their version of the Love & Marriage gameshow on the ship tv channel, and at the end they humiliated the husbands by making them dance around the stage in boxers and suspenders. Only. *wtf*

Shore Excursions: I'm giving it to Carnival on this one. RC didn't really have any excursions of interest, so we didn't purchase one in any of the three ports we visited. On the other hand, I had the opportunity to zip line and rappel in the mountains of Puerto Vallarta on the Pride, and in Cozumel three of my friends and I participated in the "Amazing Cozumel Race", which was unbelievably fun. We may have been stinky, sore and tired, but it was well worth the $81 we spent.

Pool Decks: The Inspiration's pool was pitiful. We dubbed it the Baby Wading Pool, because in essence, that's what it was. And it was filled with saltwater, which...why? They did have a water park in the back with a twisty slide, which was fun. But no pool to soak or float in made it not so great. There were also two hot tubs, but the kids took them over. Both ships had "adults only" areas that are off-limits to folks under 21, and they were both veeeery relaxing. RC had "adults only" hot tubs that jetted out from the side of the ship, which totally made my life wonderful.

Inspiration's pool deck

When we completed the comment card, the final question was: would you cruise Carnival again. I actually checked "no". I think it's cool for a first time/second time cruise, or at least until you cruise another line and actually know better. Of my group of nine, I was the only person who had cruised before. And although they all said that they'd cruise again, a few of my girls said that they wouldn't do Carnival again. My friend Maya even said, "I don't think I'm a Carnival girl". Could it be due to the scattered foolishness throughout the ship? Or the fact that everyone in our cabin had sinus issues except me? Or perhaps we just have different tastes than what Carnival can offer. I do partially blame my mother's friend William for poisoning me against Carnival, but he's right....as much as I hate to admit it. I think the dancing chaser lights in the dining room sealed the deal for me. (lol)

zzzzzzzz

2008-10-06T11:46:00.001-04:00

Just got in from my cruise to Cozumel. I am exhausted. I will write a "real" blog later, along with responding to comments from earlier blogs. But right now, this girl needs a nap. I have two airport runs to make today; one in merely an hour, so any nap I take will be brief. What I will say is this:

4 days = Too short
Cozumel = great
Carnival = I'm done
Suite w/balcony = only way to go

I'll be back to write later!

"NOBODY makes me bleed my own blood!"

2008-10-01T12:52:00.004-04:00

Genius. Last night I went to take a bite of my sandwich and my lip split. I don't quite understand how this happened, considering I keep Chapstick with me at all times. And I mean, it was bleeding. *wtf* I am probably compounding the problem by putting on more Chapstick, but how else do I stop the ouchy?

****

One of the vendors stopped by and blessed me with a $5 Starbucks giftcard. Mind you, I haven't had a white mocha in about three weeks now. I was feenin' for some Starbucks this morning too, so I went around 11:00. The barista asked me where I had been, because - yes - I was in that joint every morning at one point. I told her that "my economy has been in a recession". She drew up my regular, made it a grande instead of a tall, and threw in an extra espresso shot for kicks and giggles. I am so hyper right now I don't know what to do with myself. Caffeine is no JOKE!

****

I've finally downloaded my application to register for my social work license in Florida. I was pissed when I moved here, because my Ohio license didn't transfer and I had to do the process all over again. And it's all about $$$$, which I find ironic considering social workers don't get paid that much to begin with. At least I downloaded the application. Step one: completed.

****

It's so hard to stay focused when you're going on vacation the next day. This entire day has pretty much been a loss. I'd much rather blog, read blogs, and refresh Facebook constantly than do actual work.

****

Marvin Jr aka Coconut had his CD release party at Perfecting Church last night (Detroit). Sadly, I couldn't attend due to tomorrow's travels. They aren't that lenient with the days off, and as I said before, my economy is in a recession. I heard the party was REALLY nice. He premiered the music video that I gave blood, sweat and tears to help get shot here in Tampa, and he sang a duet with his father, Pastor Winans. I would've LOVED to see that. Fortunately, my girl videotaped it. ***waiting patiently for the upload*** I'll link to it when it's up.

****

My girl is starting a book club here in Tampa. I think it's a great idea. A book club is something I've always wanted to be a part of, but never had the initiative to start one or find a good one. I'm looking forward to participating. There is always a wrinkle though. This is my friend from church, my park pal. She and I are..how can you say.. more "liberal" Christians. Meaning, we recognize our imperfections, love the Lord with all of our hearts, minds and souls, but don't live life closed up in the "Christian" box. Trust, I used to be that girl. I'm still pretty conservative, but I'll see an R rated movie, or sip a martini, or...well, let's just say I've relaxed. My girl will drop a four letter word at the drop of a hat, especially if she's pissed. At any rate, some of the people invited to the book club are still "in the box". She sent out a text asking if anyone would be offended if she chose a book using profanity or sexuality. I wrote back and said "girl I am not trying to read TD Jakes books and Christian fiction! There are far too many good books out there!! Just TELL them that the books are not by Christian authors and let them decide whether or not they want to participate, before this turns into Monday night bible study!!". (lol) So she wrote back and INFORMED us that some of the books might offend a few participants. Religious folk are a trip, you can't leave certain things up to discussion!

****

Ok why did I totally forget to eat lunch today? LMBO!!!!

****
My mind is racing, but I think I just hit a mental brick wall. I guess I'll go write some assessments.

This is MY Life!

2008-09-30T14:02:00.003-04:00

I can never quite understand why people tend to be so concerned about MY actions and decisions I make. It's one thing to care and be concerned that I might be making a poor decision, but it's another thing to basically chastize me for something I have or have not done. Especially when it has no adverse effect whatsoever on their life. I've been confronted with this in the past few weeks in a variety of ways, none of which make sense to me. I have to stop and ask; why do you CARE so much?

There is the trivial stuff: my friend snidely remarking that she's "sick" of me carrying my red purse. I'm sorry - I happen to LIKE my red purse, I'm sorry if that offends you! If it does, buy me a new purse! I won't complain. Comments about how I should do "more" with my hair, how I should cut it, let it grow, etc. Seriously? Unless you are coming over to personally shampoo, condition and style my hair, whatever I choose to do with this head of hair is MY business.

Then there are the bigger issues: my life decisions. Now, I understand wanting to "guide" a friend out of making a bad decision, but in the grand scheme of things, those decisions rarely have a significant impact on the day-to-day life of the "intervener". There are alway exceptions to the rule, of course. Perhaps you don't want me to date a certain guy because it is nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. But if I don't have enough insight to see that, or can't take off the rose-colored glasses long enough to notice the impending train wreck, what's that got to do with YOU?!?! Without getting too specific, I have one friend that used to scrutinize almost everything I did, be it my current beau or...well that was mainly it. Whatever I chose to do with him, there was a commentary. What's funny is that when the tables turned, and I noticed her making similar decisions to the ones I made, I didn't say a word. Although I might not have agreed with some of the things...because hindsight is always 20/20...I knew it wasn't my business.

It's one thing to ASK someone for their opinion and getting an honest reply, but it's the unsolicited advice that irks me to no end. Next time I want some direction, I'll ASK for it!

I wanted to delve deeper into this pet peeve, but I am struggling to keep my eyes open so Ineed to walk around!!!

Before I go, allow me to showcase one of my favorite songs from Marvin Winans Jr's debut CD, "Image of a Man" in stores TODAY!!!

"Been So Long"

(as leaked and bootlegged on YouTube)

Mondays Suck!

2008-09-29T13:30:00.003-04:00

In spite of the short week, I feel like running out of the front door, never to return again. Sometimes this working thing is totally overrated. Not to mention, I'm in my post-lunch slump right now. What I wouldn't give for a tall white mocha double shot, no whip, right now. But I've done VERY well with my Starbucks/caffeine weaning program. Since I last wrote about it, I've been to Starbucks twice: once last Monday morning and this past Saturday, while shopping in Orlando (it was a Frappuccino type Saturday). As far as the soda goes, I had a Pepsi last Sunday and a Pepsi Friday night at the debate party. Otherwise, it's been juice and water. I'm quite proud of myself.

****

I never appreciated the awesome shopping opportunities in Orlando until this past weekend. Sure, I've been there before and have gone shopping, but something was extra special about this past weekend. I visited two establishments I hadn't visited before; The Prime Outlets on the north end of I-Drive, and the Mall at Millenia. Seriously, I had been missing OUT! They have almost every store you could ever want, and then some. I'm not even a huge shopping freak - after all, I want to buy a home and I need to develop better saving habits - but I made an exception this weekend.

Speaking of which, I purchased the most expensive "clothing" item I've ever bought: a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps. To some this may be no big deal, but I've NEVER been fashion-savvy enough to wrap my mind around spending *that* much on a pair of shoes. And although they were significantly marked down, they were still expensive. After almost having a panic attack about whether or not to buy them, I bit the bullet. And have been completely enlightened. I never knew the power of the "great shoe". I've bought cheap shoes my whole life, but to slip your foot into a designer shoe and wear it with a favorite dress? Made me feel spectacular. Nevermind that I was going to church -- lol -- I was fabulous and chic!! And they feel wonderful on my feet. Now I know what they mean when they say that certain shoes can make your feet happy. :-)

****

Add "Coke today", to that caffeine list. I actually nodded off at my desk. Never a good thing.

****

Last but not least...."Image of a Man" drops tomorrow!!!!!!:

Sticker Shock

2008-09-25T11:25:00.003-04:00

So I've finally experienced the effects of this economic downturn!

Ok, that was far too excited, let me try again:

I'm finally feeling the effects of the economic downturn. (And, I really REALLY need to break my habit of overusing exclamation points). I hit the grocery store yesterday for the first time in eleventy-million months, and walked out with a receipt higher than I have ever accumulated. (except, perhaps, than when I first moved here). Granted, my fridge stock was on the low-low, so that clearly contributed to the high dollar amount that popped up on the cash register. But, $4 for milk $3 for cheese: it all adds up to foolishness being withdrawn from my bank account. Then I immediately drove to the nearest gas station to prevent the gray ghost from going dry. Another hit to the pocketbook. Not to mention, I've been bit by this Homebuying Bug too...the prospective costs of that have me considering other lines of work. I need to make more money!!!!

****

Ne-Yo's new CD "Year of the Gentleman" is pretty frickin' great. My girl Tosha gave a great review of the CD on her site. Make sure you get the version with the remix to "Miss Independent" with Jamie Foxx. Good stuff. I miss music that just makes you feeeeel good.

Speaking of which, cheap plug -- my homie Marvin Winans Jr. drops his debut CD, "Image of a Man" on TUESDAY!!! I am soooooo excited!! I've heard the CD multiple times while hanging out with him, and it's that deal. No lie. It's hot! Check him out at http://www.thisismwj.com/ or http://www.marvinjr.com/

[/end plug]

****

I'm breaking my own rules, but I need to vent and don't feel like doing it on Xanga.

What has happened to men and their respect for women? It seems like, lately, all I am encountering are men interested in having a "jump-off". I'm sorry, I have more self-respect than that, and therefore am not entertaining this foolishness anymore. I was thinking about this as I drove to work today, and it was getting me pretty angry. What do I look like??? There's this dude I know here in Tampa. When we first met, I found him attractive and wanted to get to know more about him. Many other women did too. He expressed his interest in me and wanted to take me out on a date. That date never happened, it was cancelled the day of. Everytime I see him, he asks if he can come over. I've told him multiple times - in many ways, be it jokingly or seriously - that he cannot come over until he takes me out somewhere. It seems that this goes in one ear and right out of the other, because next time I see him, same thing. He makes comments about how, because I have my puppy, I never invite him over. Stuff like that. Honestly. I'm not an idiot. If you don't think I'm good enough to spend $20 on over dinner, or go to a movie, then why in the sam hell would I invite you over to my house to invade my private spaces? NO SIR. Show me a man who wants to know me for me and takes the time and effort to do so, and I'll show him where I live.

****

I'm so happy - the humidity in Tampa has dropped significantly. Time to break out the flat iron!

The Communication Gap

2008-09-23T14:55:00.007-04:00

From the day I started blogging in 2003, I've written countless posts about my inadequacy with the telephone. I've discussed how I'm an overall poor "phone friend" - to which, my friends will grant a resounding "aaaaaamen!". I've talked about how, after being on the phone at work ALL day long, I rarely feel up to holding a conversation once I leave the office. I've mentioned how, when I get a phone call, I stop everything I'm doing, plop on the couch, and yap away. This doesn't mean I can't hold a decent conversation, because I can. It means that I rarely take the initiative to pick up the phone and call folk. Suddenly, last week while IM'ing my mother on Gmail chat, it all clicked.

I inherited this craptastic behavior from my family. It's genetic.

How did I come to this fantastic conclusion? My mom and I were IM'ing, first of all. During our electronic conversation, she was sharing with me that my grandmother was here from PR, staying with my great aunt and uncle in Sarasota. And my aunt was fussin' because, in the year I've lived in Florida, I haven't seen them once. My mom sent me all of their contact numbers, and gave them mine. Sadly, I already had my uncle's number programmed into my phone. Oops. Then we discussed my other uncle, who lives 15 minutes from me in another part of Tampa. I needed to connect with him to get to the program in Deltona this past Saturday. I hadn't seen my uncle since March. Not for a lack of trying...he just doesn't answer his phone. I'll call when I'm in the area, or on a slow Sunday afternoon when I know they're not doing anything, and I'll get his voice mail. I talked about him for this too, when they tried to get on me for not coming around more often.

Next, there's my brother. He lives in Los Angeles, so the time difference already makes communication difficult. When I was up north for Labor Day, various people asked me how he was doing. I couldn't really tell them, as we hadn't spoken in two months. I gave a generic "oh he's good, playing music on the regular!" (this I know to be true, thanks to MySpace). When we finally connected a few weeks back, he began to tell me how my father "got on him" about not calling more. *silence on the phone*

Then, there's my nephew. He turned 5 on Saturday. I called his mother that day to talk to him. I hadn't spoken to either one of them since January...there's another story behind all of that, but it doesn't make the situation any less pathetic.

I could go on and on with other embarrassing examples of piss-poor communication between my family members and me, like the infrequent phone calls while I was away at college. It's funny, because when my stepmother entered the picture and used to call me randomly to "check on me", I found it quite odd, i.e."Why is she callin' so much?" It's just not part of my family culture.

To me, this behavior is normal. Typing it out for others to read, I suddenly feel a twinge of embarrassment. I know others whose families are quite close and talk often. That's just not us, not either side. It's like, "see ya when I see ya". It's fostered a great deal of independence in me, not being coddled all of the time by my parents and other relatives, but it's turned me into a terrible "phone friend".

Of course, all of this goes out of the door when I'm dating someone. I expects my phone calls, nucka. (lol)

So the next time anyone is annoyed with me for being noncommunicative or not calling, I'm going to tell them to blame my family.

End of the Day...

2008-09-22T15:22:00.003-04:00

Just stoppin' through to drop a few notes before heading home. My puppy gets her sutures removed tonight, and - pending that all is okay - can return to her normal life of morning walks, outside potty breaks and playing with other dogs. The poor thing has been on house arrest since the 12th.

I had a very busy weekend with the Puerto Rican faction of my family. Good times were had by all. I did a thorough recap over on my other blog, so there's no need to get repetitive here. I mentioned in that blog that I am now in "homeowner" mode. I got bit by that bug pretty badly back in 2007, but at that time I knew I wasn't staying in Cleveland, which is where I was living at the time. I researched and researched, learning what all I need to do in order to become a homeowner when I'm thirty years old. The move to Florida sorta halted all of that, financially -- I took a nice chunk out of my meager savings to move - and I REALLY liked my apartment. So I wasn't thinking about buying a home at that time..I knew I would eventually, but I was comfortable. But now, I'm over the apartment. I want more. More space for company, tile or hardwood floors (carpet in Florida is completely useless...it gets filthy), a little backyard or nearby dog park for Cha Cha, just my own hookup. I'll probably aim for a townhome, as I'm not a fan of yardwork. I've already asked my friend for contacts for mortgage brokers -- she's a real estate agent, as is my aunt's friend. I'm ready.

My amusement park jones has also resurfaced. We rode back and forth through Orlando four times over the weekend, and I subliminally drooled every time we passed Universal Studios. My "park pal" has found a great guy, which is great...but I anticipate the relationship drastically reducing our spontaneous park trips. There's talk of going up there in October for Halloween Horror Nights..we'll see.

All that talk about Kanye's new single, "Love Lockdown"...I clowned him for performing it on the VMAs...but doggoneit if the song ain't catchy. I downloaded that joint on Saturday.

Here's something kinda funny: when I was younger, I didn't think that there were any Puerto Ricans who could sing. I'd see black folks singing all of the time, but I never saw Puerto Ricans on TV or in my daily life who could really sang. No one in my family could hold a note, and like I said, television presence - or at least, that I was exposed to - didn't really help to disprove my stereotype. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Marc Anthony and many of the other PR artists/entertainers who can blow. And this past weekend, I was at a 50th anniversary celebration that featured a choir full of older Puerto Ricans from the couple's old church. And they sounded GOOD!! As a child, that might have just made my brain explode.

I should've probably waited to write a post with more substance, but I wanted to stick something in here before I go home. Who knows what the evening holds, after all?

Have You Seen My Childhood??

2008-09-18T20:00:00.007-04:00

My friend posted a note on Facebook today, his weekly "random thoughts". I get such a kick out of reading them - the guy is hilarious...and yes, random. In Item #5, he asked if anyone remembered Bill Cosby's Picture Pages, and even included a YouTube link. OMG, I LOVED Picture Pages! I wanted one of Bill's pens soooo badly, but - just as I never got tickets to see Michael Jackson live - I never got my Picture Pages pen. Roaming around YouTube, I found some other clips that took me right back to the good life -- childhood in the 80's.

Picture Pages, of course. In my youth, I never quite realized how "professorish" Bill Cosby sounds on this clip. Is this how he really spoke during every episode? And was Picture Pages REALLY just "Connect the Dots"? And was that REALLY the pen?? Wow...this is what I was all hype over? I admit to feeling a twinge of disappointment about this.

JEM AND THE (FRIGGIN) HOLOGRAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was completely obsessed with this show. I had dolls, the car, the wardrobe closet, t-shirts, and knew all of the songs. I hated Mattel and Barbie and the Rockers for being cheap knock-offs of Jem. The cartoon was GREAT!! I watched the entire first episode on YouTube (because I'm that cool) and was actually entertained! I'm considering picking up the DVD set. My girl Maya already has the whole thing. Jem was my isht, y'all. No one was allowed to say anything bad about Jem. Her man Rio was a bit of a gigalo though, I don't understand how Jerrica was okay with him making out with both her AND Jem? (nevermind they were one in the same). Manwhore!

"KIDS Incorporated". Every day after school, I'd watch this and the "Mickey Mouse Club". "KIDS Incorporated" provided a start for young Fergie (Stacy Ferguson) and Rahsaan Patterson. It's so funny that I used to watch them in this cheesetastic show. But, I loved it. I never understood why Rahsaan always wore that beanie though. Was it because he's black?

Is it just me, or does "Fraggle Rock" have the catchiest theme song???

LMBO, I used to watch "Muppet Babies" on the daily!! I forgot all about this show!!! Those babies had some wacky hijinks in that nursery.

"You Can't Do That On Television". Those wacky Canadians. I didn't even know this show wasn't American. "Did you say 'I don't know'?" *slime* And to think, Nickelodeon is still sliming people to this day. I believe Alanis Morissette used to be a featured actor on this show. Kids sketch comedy at its greatest.

Every Thursday, we were sat down in school and made to watch "Reading Rainbow". Good thing I loved this show! LeVar Burton was always and forever the "Reading Rainbow" guy. Imagine my surprise when I saw him getting whipped as Kunta Kinte. "NO, NOT THE READING RAINBOW GUY!!! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU?!!?!?"

"Pee Wee's Playhouse". I don't feel a need to explain. This show was frickin' great, the highlight of Saturday mornings. Young Lawrence "Larry" Fishburne was a series regular as Cowboy Curtis. I find that hilarious. Meka-leka-hi, meka-hiney-ho....

Remember how the fall season used to premiere the greatest cartoons? Between ABC, CBS and NBC, there was stiff competition over who had the hottest Saturday morning cartoons. They even had "preview specials" to show all of the kids what they could look forward to on Saturdays. These days? There are like 2 cartoons that show on NBC, everything else is the news. And you wonder what's wrong with kids today.

Post-Work Drain

2008-09-15T16:59:00.002-04:00

Ahhhh so much on the brain...and so much randomness at that. That's the purpose of this blog, right?

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I have yet to understand how one stalled vehicle on the shoulder can cause 6 miles of traffic gridlock. What the kcuf is everyone looking at?? Drive yo' car...I know you want to get home as badly as I do!!

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I'm currently watching Michael Phelps on SNL (thanks DVR!). He's doing alright, considering he's not an actor. I never before realized that he has a juicy mouth. He always sounds like he needs to swallow hard, one good time. At any rate, he's a Michigan man and I *heart* him for it!

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I feel so bad for this puppy, I don't know what to do. It's kinda funny to watch her bump into things with that cone on her head though.

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My job has dramatically increased my workload. I survived the first day and hopefully will endure til the end. Because if it gets any worse, I'll be updating that resume quickly.

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I was getting ready to gloat about the fact that our local gas stationsdid not succumb to the price gouging that occurred as Hurricane Ike approached Texas. I was able to fill up yesterday for $3.57, which was kinda cool. On my way home from work, the price of regular was $3.74. So much for that.

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The Browns lost to the Steelers yesterday. What else is new?

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I am watching this show on my DVR...so tell me why I'm watching the commercials?

She Pissed on my Flag....

2008-09-14T11:49:00.006-04:00

OMG. The University of Michigan Wolverines stunk up the football field in South Bend, IN yesterday. They let the Notre Dame Fighting Irish beat them real good, with a final score of 35-17. At some points throughout the game, the Maize and Blue looked like a JV football team. 7 fumbles overall, three converted for ND points. It was awful. I'm surprised I watched as much as I did. I knew this season would be an interesting one, thanks to all new personnel, but thus far, it's been purely atrocious. However -- fairweather fan I am not. I'll stick behind my team 100%. I just might dog 'em every now and again.

My puppy must also be disgusted with Michigan's gameplay as well. She has a Michigan flag that she likes to play with and has done so since I adopted her. It used to be a flag for the car (primarily on gamedays), but I lost the plastic support that you place on the window. So it became her toy. This morning, she peed on the flag.

Speaking of Cha Cha, the child is pitiful. She had her spay/dewclaw removal surgery on Friday, so I've been nursing her all weekend. I don't even need to explain how pitiful she is...photos are evidence enough:

Anyway, all was not lost yesterday. Ohio State went to visit USC in Los Angeles and flew home with their butts in their hands. It was great. I was at a pool party with a bunch of folks from work, and ended up standing in the back room watching the game with all of the other fellas. (lol, I'm such a boy sometimes). I got great joy from Ohio State's inadequacy yesterday. Thank God not all was lost. *smile*

I'm so thankful for 6pm church service -- otherwise I wouldn't have made it today. I had to get that pink collar for my dog, because she was gnawing at her sutures. Not cool. If I spend another dime on her before the week's end, I might have a panic attack. I plan to tape the Browns/Steelers game in case I miss anything good before I get home.

Random side note: Does high-fructose corn syrup have such a bad rap that they felt the need to make commercials defending it?? I don't know if anyone else has caught these ads, with people warning loved ones/friends not to use it because it's so "bad". When the other person asks "how so", the corn syrup hater has no evidence. The defender then says "it's okay in reasonable amounts, after all it's made from corn!". Seriously??

My Starbucks Fast

2008-09-11T08:44:00.009-04:00

I am addicted to Starbucks. The worst possible thing I could've done was to accept a job that has an actual Starbucks spot in the building. But I did. I cannot walk by that joker every morning without stopping in. Tall white mocha, no whip. And if my homie is working and the manager isn't present, I usually walk away with a grande white mocha, no whip with an extra espresso shot. Because I am loved. :-P It's bad. And it's an expensive habit, considering I have a espresso/cappuccino/coffee maker at home that can handle my morning caffeine jones. But that isn't good enough for me. I needs my Starbucks. I wonder how much of it is psychological, as I can drive by an Einsteins Bros. shop, or Dunkin' Donuts, or Indigo Coffee and not be compelled to stop. But let it be a Starbucks. Nothing else matters.

So, I am trying to stop. I want to see how long I can go without spending $5 on something I can essentially make at home. I tried to start yesterday. I made it the whole day without going down to the first floor to Starbucks. And trust me, it was a STRUGGLE. But, I did it. Today, I woke UP thinking about Starbucks, and sure enough, there is a tall white mocha sitting on my desk. *smh* Monday will be the true test. Tomorrow doesn't count, as I have to take my little pup to the vet, so I'll get to work late. Let's see how I do. Next after that: Pepsi. (whoo, pray my strength in the Lord now, Pepsi is my vice!...one of 'em...heh...)

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Last night I watched Tuesday's episode of ABC's "Wipeout". I lurves that show and all its ridiculousness. Sometimes I feel a bit of shame for enjoying it so much, but anyone who knows me know that people falling down = win, in my book. Especially when they set themselves up for it. Anyway, the 8:00 episode on Tuesday was GREAT. The commentary was extra snarky, and the contestants were extra foolish. Great joy was brought to my evening, thanks to ABC.

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Also watched Tuesday's episode of "Oprah", featuring the young Filipino singer Cherice. I'm such a chump, as I teared up repeatedly. Her story is touching, and there is nothing more heartwarming than seeing a person's dreams come true. She spoke about how one of her lifelong dreams (mind you, she's 16) has been to sing with Celine Dion. So after performing "My Heart Will Go On", Oprah told her that a fan had something to say to her. Turned her around, and Celine was on the screen, via satellite (or Skype, I dunno) from DC. Cherice broke down crying *sniff*. Celine invited her to sing with her at Madison Square Garden next week, and the girl could barely compose herself. Not a dry eye in the house. Darn you, Oprah, for making me feel feelings!!!

I found a clip of her from Oprah...let's see how long it's active on YouTube. (I'd embed it, but it won't let me!!)

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Finally...there is a stark difference between "pursuing" a woman and being downright PUSHY. I talked about this in my Xanga, so no need to rehash it here. Men, a healthy level of communitcation and attention toward a love interest is great- we NEED that, but when you take it too far it become obnoxious and even a bit on the stalker-side. Don't ask me how I'm feeling after only having one conversation in three days, when I've never even talked to you face-to-face. I already have a stressful job; I don't need you adding extra pressure in my life. Thanks.

Confirmed

2008-09-10T09:28:00.003-04:00

I just got an e-mail from Carnival - my four-day cruise to Cozumel is all confirmed for the first weekend of October. Everyone has registered online and our tickets are now available! After cruising Royal Caribbean's Freedom of the Seas back in June, I actually have a distaste for Carnival...but cruising with the girls and staying in a VIP suite will be a lot of fun. I can get over the bright colors and rambunctious children running around sans supervision or home training for four days straight. And being on a small ship. And the lack of a Royal Promenade. And no ice skating rink. Wow....I am a truly ridiculously spoiled cruiser. I'm anticipating cruising the Oasis of the Seas in 2010...the ship is monstrous, and I just know I'd have a ball. I definitely need to take a companion with me this time - be it a male (please Jesus!) or some of my girls.

lol, my girl emailed me and just invited me on a cruise this May. I love my life!

Saw my first "dog spat" at the dog park the other day. Fortunately, my Cha Cha wasn't involved. My friends' Australian Shepherd was drinking out of the same water bowl as this random lady's Corgi, and the Corgi suddenly went for the Shephard's neck. The squeal that came out of that dog was bone-chilling! Fortunately, no one was injured and no blood was drawn. It was freaky. I can't quite understand how people fight dogs for fun, because even imagining what that situation could've become is a disturbing thought. People are crazy.

American Politics = No Win Situation

2008-09-09T08:25:00.006-04:00

Before I even get into this, let me remind the blogging masses that I am a staunch OBAMA 08 supporter!

With that said, I have to comment on today's headline on CNN: "GOP Downplays Palin's Pentacostal Past". I went on to read the article, which went on to describe how Palin was the member of a Pentacostal church for twenty years, a church that believes in speaking in tongues, faith healing and the end times. The author explained that Palin moved to a non-denominational church several years ago, but has returned to the Pentacostal church for special events and conferences. However, Palin has said that she does not consider herself to be Pentacostal. Full text of the article available here.

It seems that - if you are a politician - your faith is unacceptable unless you are a Catholic or staunch conservative evangelical Christian. Or maybe Jewish. Anything else? Forget about it. What would've happened if Palin had defended her beliefs and said "yes I speak in tongues as the Spirit giveth utterance" (lol, that's so deep). Or stated "yes, I believe that Armageddon is inevitable". What's frustrating to ME about the situation is, although I am no Palin supporter by any means, it passes judgment on a person's beliefs and the beliefs of those who ARE pentacostals. I've never been a member of a pentacostal church, but I have attended a non-denomination church that was deeply rooted in COGIC/Pentacostal/Holiness doctrine and beliefs. Therefore it bothers me that media is criticizing her for having an affiliation with the church. It would be one thing if the church she attended believed that violence is the only way to get things done, or worshipped kittens, or burned the American flag and danced naked around the bonfire. But faith healing and tongues? Really?!? That's headline news??? It's almost as ridiculous as all the Wright vs Obama foolishness, considering that Obama had no control over what Rev. Wright said over the pulpit...or anywhere else, for that matter. Sometimes I just need not watch the news.

***well, since religion and politics are two sensitive topics and I hit both, here's something stupid to end the blog***

I cut my foot in multiple places last night, preparing my puppy for her first playdate at the dog park. It was stupidly clumsy! I keep "items of interest" behind a metal exercise pen that I'm using as a partition. (I really need to give it back to Marv & Mo). The "items of interest" are things that she'd tear up if she had the chance. Anyway. I stepped over the exercise pen to get her little bag, but my back foot didn't make it. I got tripped up on the hurdle and the unfinished metal prongs on the pen tore into my foot. And I couldn't get myself together enough to release it. Once I finally hit the ground, I was bleeding out of four places on my right foot. Had to get the alcohol, bandaids and get her to the playdate. She was trying to lick my foot...I appreciate the helpfulness, but yuck. I had bandages all over my foot at the dog park. And that joint is bumpin' today. I wore my scrubs and Skechers to work so I wouldn't have to rock high heels and cause more pain than necessary.

I'm Blogging Too Much....

2008-09-08T10:39:00.004-04:00

Do I really have this much to say? Why can't I stop blogging?

I was thoroughly disappointed in last night's MTV Video Music Awards. MTV is beginning to look and act low-budget to me. Is the current state of music so poor that last night served as a representation of today's hotness? If so, I'm SO glad that I have an iPod. Double dose of Rihanna, Lil' Wayne - who I'll admit entertained me, (I missed TI), Kanye singing (yo..that's not your JOB. You are a RAPPER. RAP.), and a bunch of random groups that I never heard of. Britney Spears looked great - bad weave, but looked great - but did she deserve 3 VMAs? NOTHING better has dropped in the past twelve months? Wompadoodledoo!

I'm soooooo excited that it's September. The intolerable Florida heat is now behind us, and for me and my girl, "park season" has now begun. Now that the tourists have returned back to their regular school-year lives, the theme parks have emptied out. We plan to get back out there and start using those annual passes that we invested in. I can't wait for the next trip to Orlando!!!

This is probably a "you had to be there" moment, but I had the most hilarious conversation with my friends at dinner last night. My boy Marv and his cousin were talking about how Bluetooth headsets used to be the isht, and everyone who was everyone had one - until they realized that the sound quality is craptastic. How people act differently on a "Bluetooth" call than a regular phone call. How everything is so serious, so business-like. Slowly, everyone at the table began to admit that we all owned - or still own - a Bluetooth headset. Hijinks ensued after that. We're a bunch of conformists! lol

I forgot to hype up my peoples at AT&T. I checked my minute usage on Friday and noticed that I had one anytime minute left. ONE. Apparently I went out of town and, in my world, everyday was the weekend!!! Only, not so much. I talked waaay too much. So, I was prepared to live with one anytime minute until 9/19. Opened my bill on Saturday and low and behold, I had a remaining 350 anytime minutes from last month. I included rollover minutes in my plan when I got the iPhone, so I should've had 351 minutes left, right? I called customer service and very pleasantly explained the problem, stating that I elected the option of rollover and wanted to be sure that I was getting proper credit. Well, my friend on the other end agreed and said, "If i give you 1000 rollover minutes, will that hold you until the 19th?". Um, chia!!! I don't talk THAT much!!! So I ended that call with an extra 1000 minutes in my pocket and a new affinity for AT&T and my beloved iPhone.

We're All Going to Hell

2008-09-07T18:08:00.004-04:00

This, my friends, is what television has stooped to:

What's worse is that I will prooooobably watch this after the Browns game. Speaking of which, they're losing. I.am.so.surprised. :-/

Anyway. Michigan squeaked out a victory against Miami Ohio yesterday. And I mean, squeaked. I don't know what to expect out of this team. The talent is there; whether it's developed enough to be a BCS contender this year remains to be seen. The young QB, Threet, has some speed on him but was having difficulty completing passes -- to wide open receivers. Argh. A little further south, Ohio State had a scare against the Ohio U Bobcats. I so wish that OU had won. That would've made my life -- and ended the all-too-frequent references to last year's Mich vs Appalachian State game. :-/

I was standing around with my girl after church today. We were talking, wasting time until the traffic in the parking lot subsided a bit. A young lady passed behind me, and my girl said "ooh I love her shoes!". I turned around to see who she was referring to, as she said "she's got, like, a unique ankle strap". I kept looking to see the young lady and eventually spotted her. I turned to my girl and said "um, that's a house arrest bracelet. Notice how there isn't one on both legs". LMFBO. My girl said, "um, don't tell nobody about that". Me: "I won't".

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!

2008-09-06T13:36:00.002-04:00

Yep. College football is underway. For ME, this is week one, as my travels last week prevented me from watching any games. And I'm not too upset about that, considering Michigan's performance last week. I know we are in a major transition period, so I didn't know what to expect from the Maize and Blue. I'm watching them take on Miami OH. The first half had more ups than downs, hopefully we'll walk away with a victory. Miami FL and Florida play tonight, that should be fun to watch. Last time I saw Florida play, the Wolverines beat them at the Capital One Bowl. :)

Normally my NCAA Saturdays consist of me talking and/or texting my girl in Cali, doing play-by-play commentary. However, I wasn't a puppy mommy at that time. I've had to pause the game twice for potty breaks and lunch. I'm finally caught up, in real-time, but the texts have stopped. Yet another minor life change that I didn't quite anticipate.

Becoming a convert...

2008-09-05T11:11:00.003-04:00

I'm slowly becoming convinced that BlogSpot might just be better than Xanga. I've been snooping around people's blogs and I'm enjoying what I'm reading. I'll probably continue to be a lurker, but I have decided to follow a couple of blogs due to them being written by friends/people I know. Plus I'm following DO's blog because I'm intrigued about the life of a really ridiculously good-looking - yet surprisingly humble - professional track star. The places they get to go -- It's so interesting!

So I really don't have readers which isn't a bad thing. Once I joined Xanga and realized that people I knew were reading my blog, the content of my posts began to change. I found myself writing for comments instead of writing for the purpose OF the blog - to clear my head. I've laxed on that just a bit, but I am still cognizant that people I know (personally!) hop onto Xanga now and again. My purpose over here is to just let thoughts flow, no matter how nonsensical they are. The content may evolve over time, especially if I fully convert from Xanga, but for now, this is why I'm here.

I'm also going to try to stop blogging from the iPhone. As convenient as it may be, my grammar, spelling and punctuation take a MAJOR hit when I write entries from there. I can't have people stumbling upon this mug and be shocked to find out that I have a master's degree. (lol)

A Few Thoughts....

2008-09-04T09:46:00.003-04:00

RNC. Barf. I have tuned in with real plans to watch the convention, but I end up shutting it off after a few minutes. It's just unbearable. I feel that these people are delusional about where this country stands. Instead, I've watched The Daily Show's coverage. I think a soundbite from Tuesday night's episode hit the nail on the head: John Oliver asked a delegate how he felt about Monday's activities being postponed due to Hurricane Gustav. Delegate replied (paraphrased): "This shows you how the leftist liberal media has taken over the country. I can't believe they postponed this convention because some people are getting rained on". :-/

I realize I have a lot of pet peeves. But one of my biggest ones is this: when able-bodied people take an elevator only one floor. Especially if they're going DOWN one flight. Take your lazy behind to the stairs and walk!

Whoever invented "Doggie Day Care" is a genius. Cha Cha loves it and is super excited every time I drop her off there. It makes me late to work, but it's worth it. Bored dog = destructive dog.

Back in Tampa

2008-09-02T15:51:00.003-04:00

Wow what a whirlwind of a weekend. The only day I woke up and went to bed in the same STATE was on Friday. Every other day, I was in transit. Excellent trip though. And here are a few reflections as I shut it down at work and prepare to get my puppy from "camp":

I *heart* rental cars. I never splurge for aesthetic reasons, I get cars that are functional and sized right. I appreciate having the ability to try out something that I might've otherwise never purchased. This time around, I had a Ford Fusion, which is a nice ride! My current car now feels like crap, and it's stirring up that desire to get something new. Too bad I'm allergic to car notes.

You reap what you sow. This principle has been proven time and time again, and the same happened over the weekend. A family member was in dire straits and, although I'm not ballin' or anything close to it, I sacrificed for someone who has sacrificed for me countless times. And let me tell you, I reaped the benefit of that the next day from yet another family member. I don't do things for reward or recognition. I was led to gift this person with the money and I was obedient. Thank God, because I am wanting for nothing right now.

I know I said I wouldn't do relationship stuff on this blog, but I really don't understand why an "ex" of sorts would visit MY MySpace page and leave a comment, knowing good and well that we haven't talked in eons. Oh and his profile pic is him proposing to his girlfriend...which is new, which is the ONLY reason he hit me up. People ain't slick. I'm not heartbroken over the proposal, I'm moreso pissed at him doing something so...jerky. (for lack of dirtier words...lol)

Aight I guess that's it for now. It's 4:00. Although I don't work in a school, my internal dismissal bell is ringing and I have to go.

For The Love of Dance

2008-08-30T08:58:00.003-04:00

I'm in Cleveland, getting geared up to move to the next destination: Detroit. I had an amazingly fun time in my hometown yesterday. From seeing my former co-workers (there's a story there for Xanga), to going on a dinner cruise to capping off the night at salsa. I danced the night away, climbing back into my car with a nice cramp in my right thigh. Got to do those dances you never see in Florida: the Cleveland Shuffle, JB's Monorail and if course I got my Cupid Shuffle on. Then ran over to salsa where I was spun, dipped, and turned until my legs gave out. It really reminded me of how much I enjoy dancing. Debbie Allen I am not, but the pure joy I get from moving to music is something hard to replicate. I fell off from my salsa classes once I got my puppy, and there are no clubs in Tampa that offer the space, crowd, music and smokefree amosphere of The View. It made this entire Cleveland stop completely worth it.

And I have the blisters to prove it.

Live from DMV

2008-08-28T17:27:00.002-04:00

I'm currently in the DC area, chillaxin' with my mother before heading to Rockville, MD for dinner. There, my dad will swoop me up and we'll be off to Cleveland. I wish I was staying in more than one day in each city, but the agenda is tight so I must keep it movin'. I'm going to miss Obama's acceptance speech tonight due to being on the interstate, so my hope is that we will be able to find it on the radio. I'd hate to have to catch history on YouTube.

Watching Disney's "Hercules". Never really noticed how similar the lead characters tend to be. Singing voice, speaking voice, even their looks. I'll be curious how this upcoming Black princess will sound and look.

The TSA folk at Tampa International were extra crotchety last night. I don't know who or what got into their knickers, but they extra pushy. They even gave an old guy in a wheelchair a hard time. And you know you can't say anything without putting yourself at risk for a nice strip search.

I am going to have sooooo much to say in my Xanga. Hopefully I'll time to post during this trip.

I sorely miss my puppy Cha Cha. I needed a break from her, but can't seem to stop talking about her! We went over my mom's friend's place today and he has a poodle. I got to play with him for awhile and it got me thinking about her. Not to mention I woke up this morning looking for her. Pitiful, I know!

Dueling Banjos

2008-08-27T10:48:00.000-04:00

Blogging now, since I'll be traveling most of the evening and may not get an opportunity later. If so, I'll update this blog as I see fit. You see that I never got back here last night. Ah well.

One of the worst things about working in a hospital is hearing sounds and discussing things that are normally not very socially acceptable. The lady across the hall is hockin' up a loogie, sounds like. It's disgusting. Yet this is the soundtrack to my day. Pandora.com can't even drown out this foolishness.

I'm not trying to be rude, but yesterday I met a family straight out of the movie "Deliverance". If you haven't seen it, please do. You won't be right afterwards. And will probably never go camping with your friends either. All I can hear are the dueling banjos...*dododo do do do do do doooooo*. That, and the phlegm lady across the hall.

Why are certain words so nasty looking? I thought that as I typed "phlegm". It just makes you retch a little. "Pus" is another one. Ugh. Tell me you didn't react when you read it, prove my point.

I already blogged about Hillary's speech last night, and Sista Sew-In who just pooped in everyone's punch bowl on CNN immediately thereafter. Her speech was awesome. Hopefully Sis. Sew-In doesn't reflect the feelings of other Hillary supporters. (Please Lord)

Oh, for those who might be curious, that lady cut a nice chunk out of my toe. I have a french pedicure and big black dot on the tip of my toe where the blood coagulated. You should've seen the look on her face when we finished. She looked like a puppy who just pooped in my favorite shoes. I got the french for free due to the fact that I left with an open wound, but her tip was shorted. A ruder person wouldn't have tipped at all, but that's just not in me. The rest of the pedicure is beautiful. I just feel pain in my toe. I should've taken a picture to post here. If I wasn't at work and didn't have manners, I'd do just that.

I'm sure I'll be back. It's far too early to not have other random thoughts to share.

Getting My Toes Did

2008-08-26T18:20:00.000-04:00

I'm at the nail salon getting my pre-trip pedicure. Although I just had my last one less than two weeks ago, my toes were in a state of shock and awe. I couldn't go out like that before landing in DC! Who knows what tomorrow night holds? So I'm in this massaging chair..that has stopped massaging...getting the most thorough pedicure ever. I dunno what she's doing to my toe skin, but it better look great because my puppy is 2 miles away at daycare waiting for me to pick her up.

Sometimes I have to sit back and thank the Lord that He blessed me and my family with our right minds. Sure we're imperfect, but considering that one of my patients cut off his right hand with a table saw because "the voices" told him to, and another's cousin beat him silly with a lead pipe, I can consider myself blessed.

Why is my toe bleeding? I knew she was doing something crazy to my toe. This is what happens when I don't stick with what I'm familiar with! This junk hurts too. I expect a discount...or a free pedi!!!!!

I plan to catch Hillary's speech at the DNC tonight. Should be interesting. I think Michelle Obama did a great job showing America who she is as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and American. Adding the kids was a nice touch. :)

Yeah I'll be back. I'm mad about my bloody toe.

Must I title all of these posts? Monday Night.

2008-08-25T19:24:00.000-04:00

Mondays tend to suck a whole lot. Sleep never comes easy, making the 5:00am alarm sound as pleasant as a curse word in church. Starbucks is always in order on Mondays.

I was reading my old blog from '03-04 ( the grad school years) during another ultra-productive day on the job. LOL. I was amazed at how active I was during the period of my life. Flag football, choir, salsa, softball, random social gatherings, not to mention school. What happened to me?? When did I become a slug? I'm motivated to get my life together and pick up some extra-curricular activities. :) There is always salsa, but what else? Maybe I'll organize a team for flag?

Is it a "Florida Thing" to put inappropriate passengers in the open bed of a pick-up? And then get on the interstate? Driving home I saw two grown-a-- men riding in a pick-up. I said, "that can't be legal" and started hoping to see a cop. Why such joy over watching wrongdoers get caught? Dunno. But it would've made my day. Even worse, getting off of the interstate I saw a black lab in the bed of a pick-up. What?? That poor dog. And the cab of the truck was a four-seater. Should've called the ASPCA on that. The dog had no cover and was baking in that 95 degree sun. *smh*

Why do people move to Florida and complain about heat? Did you not know that it's hot here? Really?

Cha Cha goes to puppy day care tomorrow. I'm excited for her to have fun for once while I'm at work. Had to take her to the vet today for a kennel cough vaccine. She likes the vet. She is soooo odd.

I don't know if you caught the closing ceremony for the Olympics. Them folk sure can party! They were strugglin with their rhythm skills during the final few songs, but the intent was there. Call me a sap, but I loved seeing the athletes from all the different countries interacting and taking pics. It actually gives a person hope for peace. Then reality bites.

My thumbs hurt. Later.

Sunday Night Drain

2008-08-24T20:10:00.000-04:00

I can't believe the weekend is over. Far too fast, far too unproductive. I partially blame Cha Cha and her Hershey squirts.

I just finished watching the American men's volleyball team collect their gold medals. Nevermind that I teared up every time an American won gold...or anyone for that matter...but this one was particularly tear-jerking because the coach's father-in-law was murdered in Beijing two weeks ago. Gah. After all he went through, he deseved a medal. Now I'm about to watch the closing ceremony.

Went to church this morning, but that little light of mine was NOT shining. Puppy got me up waaaaaay too early and I skipped breakfast, so I was hungry and sleepy. Not a good combo. Went to Waffle House after service. There my joy was restored.

The Chinese sho' do know how to put on a fireworks show.

Missed the bball game last night, obviously. It's ok. They won. I just want to see if Lebron cried like he said he would. I had an interesting convo with my friend though, regarding whether the players would rather have an NBA championship or a gold medal?

I'm gonna miss the Olympics. Sniff.

The national anthem for Great Britian is the same tune as "My Country Tis of Thee"? Who knew.

My first brain drain

2008-08-24T00:20:00.000-04:00

Ok Kat, you happy? I've decided to start a fresh blog over here, although I'm still blogging regularly on Xanga. That blog tends to be on the extremely personal side, so expect nothing but randomness here. No relationship updates, etc. And brief entries..right now I'm blogging from my iPhone and have little patience for my subpar typing skills. So until I get better at this: few words. I'll just be sharing random things on a regular basis since I rarely talk on the phone, leaving my brain ready to explode with randomness. So here's a taste before I hit the hay.

Since I have been NBC's b$&@h ever since track&field started, this will be Olympics-centered.

1. Some of Bob Newmeyer's post-race interviews have been painfully uncomfortable to watch. He sticks that mic in the runners' faces and is all, "so, we all witnessed your Olympic dream completely shatter. Tell me what happened and how you feel about it. Do you even deserve to be here?". Terrible. Bob, I'mma need you to let me catch my breath and finish crying before I talk to your tail.

2. The 12 hour time difference sucks. The USA bball team plays for gold at 2:30am. Am I gonna stay up for that? Jesus says no.

3. It's funny how every event I watch makes me reconsider my life choices. For example, watching the sprinters makes me wish I hadn't abandoned track after two weeks due to shin splints. ((I opted for drama club. Less risk for injury). Watching diving makes me wish I hadn't been afraid of the water. Watching water polo makes me think..nothing.

4. My puppy snores. I think it's funny since it's occasional. She had the runs today due to eating her friend Ronnie's dog food like a POW just released from captivity. (we went to
visit Friday night). Doggie diarrhea is nasty and can really ruin a Saturday.

5. I wish there was an Olympic event for me. I'm almost 30, too old to seriously take up a new sport. So there should be an event that I'm already good at, i.e. Olympic salsa dancing.

6. I'm seriously thinking about traveling to London for the '12 games, depending on where I am in life. God willing I'll be married and have a kid, if not...I'm soooo in London.